To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

Incidentally I've determined writing a letter isn't acceptable on MN.

How else can leadership deal with difficult staff though without any evidence?

(Ducks because none of you seem to think what she did was wrong)

Apart from the fact that "none of you" indicates you don't examine all the evidence and tend to over-generalise (I've seen a number of posts in which people agree with you) - what, exactly, do you want to happen? I asked this earlier.

I don't understand why you're here; 99% of posters disagreed with you and you're saying they're all wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️

@dungandbother

Why do you think your DD shouldn't have to follow the uniform rules that apply to everyone else?

The whole key to this is in the title of your thread. "Strict" Gosh, horror!

You plainly don't like the TA but only can be arsed to complain when they "target" your DC.

Forget it OP and use it as an opportunity to teach your child that not everyone will speak to them of unicorns and rainbows.

It's called life.

Pen so value judgements on a child’s appearance are fair game with you? Katie, your plaits look stupid, wear a ponytail. Johnny, your shoes are ugly, change them.

That’s not OK, and nothing you or anyone else on MN will persuade me it is. And I’m more than happy not to be a sheep and agree with everyone else.

RiverTam

Do you honestly believe that's what I mean?

You’re appalled?

Please do complain to the school, they could use a chuckle on the last day!

Maybe it was giving her a wedgie or something and she didn't want her to be teased?

I'd be fummin

Rolls eyes.
Gives up.

What is fummin?

Pen I commented that the TA was making a value judgement on this child’s appearance. Your comment to me appeared to support making similar value judgements. Kinda suggests that is what you mean, doesn’t it? I mean, I would hope a teacher wouldn’t make value judgements of children’s appearances, but everyone on this thread appears to support one doing exactly that, including you.

RiverTam

I don't think telling a child to correct/alter an item of uniform is on a par with making personal comments about their hair.

Have a packet of

Alternatively get a bloody grip and stop being precious about Fuck all when there will be far more things to be outraged about (I'm sure) in the future.

Some of them might even matter.

I don't think the OP's posts have changed all that much, it's just that you're all not-picking and trying to find ways to make her seem unreasonable. She won't know the whole story as she wasn't there!!!

But if the OP's DD has been talking about this TA all year, and has generally been a well behaved and truthful child (never been in trouble before), then we should actually believe her.

Some of you just have to find ways of making parents unreasonable and the children 'snowflakes' (a very nasty phrase which should be banned IMO.

Why is it that a child is believed if they're disclosing stuff about their dad (the OP's ex) or stepmum, or if they're disclosing abuse in the home, but if they're disclosing things a teacher or TA did at school they must be lying??? For some reason, posters on here refuse to believe teachers can do anything wrong. Why is that???

Just let it go. Choose yr battles wisely. So yr ds was embarrassed but don't make it more of an issue for her. If u do u may find that she doesn't tell y anything in the future.

What is incorrect about having your shirt tucked in? Why does that need altering? Saying ‘I don’t like it’ or ‘it’s stupid’ is making a value judgement about the way this child has chosen to wear her PE kit. The kit is correct, there is no rule about how it should be worn. The TA has decided that he doesn’t like it. As far as I’m concerned that’s an opinion he doesn’t get to air. And it sounds part and parcel of this TA being unpleasant.

Because the TA didn't do anything wrong? She said 'untuck your shirt it doesn't look right'. I can't think of a single reason for her to say that unless it didn't look right (for whatever reason: tucked into her pants, bunched up round her waist...who knows as we weren't there) and she was trying to make the OPs daughter look right. Why would she say it just to be mean? It makes no sense.

rivertam black sheep over here

I don’t like it either.

I’m confused one minute the TA is saying it doesn’t look right, then YOU (as in child) don’t look right and then that looks stupid. Which is it?

dung I wouldn’t write a letter only because I’d want to see the reaction of the tutor or the TA when I enquired about it.

It’s bizzare

I’ve taught sports for ten years and the idea that MN think that teachers are gods never to be questioned is just untrue.

lemony has said what I was thinking; maybe it didn't look right. Maybe your dd was child number 29 who had not done what was expected. There are lots of maybes. However you will both struggle with secondary.

If it's a personal comment by the TA, and nothing to do with uniform rules, I'd just have a quiet word with the teacher. There may be more to it that your DD hasn't said.

Are you serious? I'm forever telling children off for being too scruffy. She's in year 6- I'm sure she wasn't offended by that and it wasn't bullying. The other day a colleague joked with a child that if he didn't tuck his shirt he would have to wear a dress. The boy said ok but could he choose the colour... children at that age have thick skin. I'm sure you would be the type to complain about that too.

This thread demonstrates perfectly why teachers and TAs are leaving the profession like rats leaving a sinking ship.