To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

I see he OP hasn’t been back.

Hopefully this is because she’s writing to her local MP to speak out about this heinous outrage.

Let the march upon Downing Street commence.........

I love the way the furst few posts dictates a thread

Rather than complaining, could be a better plan to equip Dd with the stamina to cope with what senior school will bring. Pace yourself op, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

I do agree OP that's not right

I suppose there's always one person who'll agree with the most bizarre OP.

I probably shouldn't admit this, as it would be outing if the parents had known about it, but we used to compete for the COTY cup (Complaint of the Year) in our staff room; for all you know staff member is currently doing a lap of honour round the Staff Room. A truly footling one might be framed, eg Why wasn't I informed about Parents' Evening? - written on the first piece of paper to hand - the Parents' Evening letter...
Seriously though; if you complain about this, it will be difficult at some later date to air a genuine grievance.
Was the uniform reprimand given in isolation? Or was it a follow-up to a ticking-off (as berated child draws breath to argue, you follow up with "and tuck your shirt in!")

I’d love to read some of the contenders of COTY, bizarre and funny I’d guess

Sorry. I've been at work. In a school.

Maybe all the sensible people have been at work too.
Thanks Pitter and Third - who absolutely see where I'm coming from and it's got nothing to do with uniform rules or preciousness of a child. Nor snowflakes nor me wailing to the Governors. Nor anything to do with her resilience. I haven't even mentioned DD reaction.

It has everything to do with an adult ridiculing a child in a loud and accusatory tone. Yes my DD did use the phrase sharp to describe the TA's tone. Yes she was hurt. No she didn't show it. Yes she did as she was told.

Thankfully she is going to a strict secondary where they even dictate the height of a ponytail and the style of shoe.

The TA is horrid to all the children. She's never once targeted DD until this. I think she was unprofessional.

I'm happy to be ridiculed by you all, I'm happy to be told IAU. Lots of
your comments show me though that most of you actually completely missed the point and went off on weird tangents. Maybe I didn't put it so well.

Simply- my DD was singled out and shouted at by a TA.
She didn't break any rules.

"Untuck your shirt that looks stupid"

I don’t know that I’d complain but I do think it’s an out of order thing for a TA to say. Who is the TA to say what does and doesn’t look right with a child’s appearance? If she’s wearing the correct uniform, that’s it, nothing more to say.

OP, you weren't there. She told your DC to untuck her shirt because it didn't look 'right'. What is 'accusatory' about that? What is humiliating about it?

I honestly think you have jumped the shark.

Wait. So you knew the TA was horrid to children all year and did absolutely nothing, but the day your child is asked/told to untuck their shirt, now you want to complain?

make up your mind, did the TA say the tucked in shirt looked wrong/stupid or that your daughter looked wrong/stupid?

Considering you can’t even “quote” what the TA said consistently, I highly doubt the TA was as mean as you say they were, and there’s fuck all to complain about.

Your daughter is leaving in a few days, what do you hope to achieve by complaining?

The TA can say anything the teacher can say. She is an adult in a position of authority and responsibility. The way the uniform is worn is within her remit.

I agree that you reaction is the problem today. Precious children and their often very unpleasant parents making a fuss, often about nothing. Help your child learn what is important in life.

I bet she knows nothing about your irritation with the TA. I imagine you have kept that carefully hidden from her, so that she maintains a respect for authority? What do you think they end result of your nonsense really is? Schools full of unteachable children who grow into , unreasonable adults like their mu,. Everyone in schools including TAs and kids are on their knees!

But this was making a value judgement of the child’s appearance based on nothing but the TA’s preference, so far as I can tell. Personally I think it’s utterly baffling that anyone would criticise a shirt being tucked in, but maybe that’s an age thing, with my uniform shirts always had to be tucked in.

I love the way the furst few posts dictates a thread

I agree with this. Some of the posts on here have been ridiculously OTT. But then, I've always found on Mumsnet that there are always posters who will defend the teaching staff at all costs. And yes, it is funny how some posters are like sheep, i.e. they just pile in with the YABUs and the mockery on AIBU. It's almost a blood sport.

I do understand why the OP was upset, the TA has form for belittling children and she's now picked on the OP's DD.

I don't think it's worth pursuing, as the DD is moving to high school. But that doesn't mean that the OP doesn't have good reason to be annoyed.

The OP's story changes each time she posts

Rivertam that is my thinking.

Me nor DD have any issue with authority.

I have listened to DD describe the TA behaviour all year, often incredulously. But DD is a truthful child.

I will repeat exactly what the TA said

"DD NAME. Untuck your shirt. That looks stupid"

DD describes her as sharp. And confirmed she shouted the entire thing.

RiverTam

I make value judgements as an adult in a school all the time: too loud, too scruffy, too this, too that. It is perfectly reasonable and this is a major fuss about nothing. The OP should be embarrassed.

Who else's posts are you reading Penny? I haven't deviated at all.

There must have been a reason.

There was no reason.
I have made that abundantly clear.

Dd dressed for PE precisely the way she has done for 7 years. Her kit fits her. Nothing is too small. Nothing was dirty.

Targeted?? ☺

Incidentally I've determined writing a letter isn't acceptable on MN.

How else can leadership deal with difficult staff though without any evidence?

(Ducks because none of you seem to think what she did was wrong)

How else can leadership deal with difficult staff though without any evidence?

How would you suggest she is 'dealt with'?

@dungandbother you've asked should I ask a letter? 99% of posters have said no. You then decipher that they are not sensible. Why ask if your not able to accept something you don't want to hear?

Secondly your story has changed. You initially said the TA said it didn't look right The you said she said it looked stupid.

Two very different comments