To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

Dear oh dear OP . Better invest in a LOT of ink for September .

And I really don’t see what slipping in a comment about the TA at school is going to make now . Seriously , find something else to fret about instead . Something that isn’t a waste of time .

Ha yes my dd1 is in yr 6 and besides the oversized t shirt everything else is on the short side.

I've paid out over 200 quid on secondary uniform and not done yet so like hell would I be replacing stuff.

Of course now I'm.having the opposite problem.

Designated supplier shit. Not only will the pe top likely not even arrive in time. The smallest sizes available have been ordered. T shirt males her look like she has nothing on underneath and the skort is too big so if they cabt deal with the t shirt tucked in not sure what she's supoosed to do

Sure, you can 'write in and complain' - I'm not sure what it is you want, however. And you risk getting really naffed off if the school's head responds with a 'thank you for your letter, your comments have been noted' reply.

I wouldn't complain but I would support my DD and say to her that the TA was being unreasonable.

I would leave it op.
I was a TA and there was a few people I worked with that were a bit like that, sort of bossy/snappy. It's not the worst thing in the world to say to a child,but it didn't really need to be said.

Thing is you can't be there to jump in and defend DD from things like this at every stage in her time at school. Sometimes my DD (who is senstive) will come home and tell me similar kind of stuff and we tend to joke about people's knickers being in a twist/getting out the wrong side of bed. Kind of confirming to DD adult was BU but not making a fuss about it.

If it were another child saying it then it would be clear and simple bullying

No it wouldn't. Bullying is someone is targeted persistently over a period of time, not one comment. And "untuck your shirt, it doesn't look right" is hardly offensive is it? It's not personal, it's not an insult or name-calling. She was just giving her an instruction.

If you're genuinely "appalled" and "outraged" by this then secondary school is going to come as one hell of a shock!

I think thirdday's comment sums it up perfectly.

OP you are quite frankly crazy. You wait until next year.

I do genuinely worry about the increase of this culture. I find it odd that you are so involved.

You need to teach your daughter to be resilient

As a teacher I've done worse than the TA.

Why would you though? It does seem unnecessary and petty.

If she's Y6 then she's left the school anyway. Why bother, just tell your dd that life is like this, I'm sure she'll experience far worse than this at secondary.
The unfairness that goes on there prepares them for a life of unfairness.

Christ sake, no wonder my former colleagues who work with kids say that these days the worst part of the job is the parents.

jaclass, gosh does anyone punish you for your poor SPAG?

I was going to say this thread is hilarious.

But actually, it goes some way to explaining why so many teenagers think they're untouchable nowadays and any adult telling them what they don't want to hear, isn't 'showing them respect'.

I work at a small, free, visitors attraction and I'm dreading the school Summer holidays, due to the anti-social behaviour from some local kids/teens, who absolutely think no adult is entitled to tell them to stick to the rules or behave themselves.

Give your head a wobble OP. Save your 'outrage' for something outrageous before you end up with a teenage brat who has no respect for you either.

I completely agree that children will hear worse and some parents can be precious.

However as parents of course we tell our children that it's not nice when a teacher or TA snaps or they feel like they were told off for something unreasonable. Maybe we don't get upset over it but I feel like OP has got that parent red mist at the moment and of course loves DD.

It is very hard in a class full of children to get things right all the time. I've probably been a bit short or misread a situation,told children to sit down when I hadn't heard someone else had asked them to go and get something etc. I wouldn't sweat over a tucked in PE top though. It just doesn't matter.

If having the PE top tucked in or out doesn't matter, why did the TA even mention it? I probably wouldn't complain, but I would think that the TA was an idiot.
It reminds me of an acquaintance of DP - he thinks the sun shines out of her. I saw her pulling and tugging at her daughter's clothes and being quite nasty about the fact that her top was tucked in. The girl was 7 and clearly upset.

It was an unnecessary comment from the TA and no doubt very embarrassing for an 11 year old. But compared to other things that your DD will have to face in her life, this is just not worth getting worked up about. And, as your DD will be leaving the school anyway, why are you so bothered about this?

Yes. Complain to the chair of governors. Maybe the DM could right a piece with your daughter looking sad in her tucked in shirt, and you could be looking outraged.

God I wish I knew who you were to warn the poor woman. Parents like you drive me insane and drive people out of what is a rewarding but stressful profession. She’s about to be pulled out of all the frantic end of term duties to talk about a PE shirt. You disgust me.

Why is the TA getting involved? Is uniform part of their responsibilities?

The TA was wrong and petty. But I'd probably tell my daughter sometimes it is easier not to sweat the small stuff and to move on and forget about it.

@dungandbother a another prime example of an AIBU poster receiving almost unanimous 'yes YABU' responses and not accepting it. Why ask??

Let it go