To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

And she really should have told her this discreetly rather than in front of her mates.

Don't be so ridiculous. If your child honestly cannot cope with any aspect of their appearance being corrected by an adult in a school, they should not be in school. It isn't an environment set up to deal with 'discreet' conversation, because of the 15:2 ratio normal in a primary environment and the 30:1 ration normal in secondary.

Just look at the huge amount of historic abuse cases

you were saying?

I think you should write in and complain.

Then everyone in the staff room can have a laugh.

miserable old cow.....is abusive

petrolpump28

I have explained my comments. If you don't understand them, then either re read them or just forget it as I can't be any clearer.

Out of interest, to the teachers on thread
If such a complaint were raised on basis of the op...what would happen
What would HT do?

you explained that children shouldn't blindly follow figures of authority.

You then mentioned historic cases of abuse where sadly this had happened.

I am saying a TA in a school, in front of others, telling a child to adjust her clothing is not comparable.

I agree with you to an extent. It was an unnecessary comment and not done in the best way. However, it's not worth making a big deal about. It's that time of year when everyone is a bit frazzled.

You obviously have no idea of what goes on in a school from the staff. The endless days, the love and commitment to the children is beyond anything you could imagine. But here you are contemplating making a complaint about a TA over something so ridiculous. Get a life!

LipstickHandbagCoffee

Honestly, absolutely nothing. They might tell the parent they will 'speak to the teacher' if they are particularly lily-livered. But what would they say? Please mind your tone with X, her mum is over-sensitive.

I’m disgusted by the OPs response as a parent. Whatever you think of the TA, you should respect her. This is what’s wrong with the children of today- the parents don’t respect what is said in schools. We’re raising a generation of snowflakes 😡

We all abide by rules and sometimes it’s arbitrary, that’s life
There are people who are senior or in the hierarchy with power and we generally acquiesce
Schools need to ordered to maintain learning,crowd control,and manage behaviour. Stepping up to secondary from primary is a biggie

If it were another child saying it then it would be clear and simple bullying.

No, it would not. That is not what bullying is.

This one is rude and hated by kids

This comment you made about the TA is worse than what the TA said to your daughter.

Honestly, parents like you are what make my job both frustrating and entertaining in equal measure.

It was clearly and issue if it bothered your child that she mentioned it to you and i think it needs to be discussed with her class teacher or head teacher, even if it is the end of school year..
So that your childs confidence is not affected doing PE next school year if your daughter always tucks her t shirt into her shorts i would ask why it was suddenly a problem and her reasons for picking on your child out in front of the other children.

LipstickHandbagCoffe- I’d read the complaint, have a laugh in the staffroom then call the mother in for a serious chat 😂

Sadly as a teacher on the thread, we may actually be asked to apologise to the child (and parent) in a restorative way. However, mumsnetters you restore my faith that parents still believe in raising children to be resilient. Life is full of critical and cruel people - they are for the most part, not teachers nowadays!

It’s not that I don’t agree that the TA was being a bit of a mare but your dd is going to have to cope with so much worse than that in life and if you go charging in all irate at such a non-event how is she ever going to toughen up? It’s secondary school in just a few weeks, things get an awful lot tougher there.
The best thing you can do is hear how your daughter feels about it, show her some sympathy and help her get over it.

Thanks Pengggwn, on basis of what is posted I’d not see it as significant
Wondered if the HT would have to go through he motions so to speak

omg she's been "picked on "now.

As a retired headteacher I think you should accept the care shown to your daughter. If she didn’t look suitably dressed then someone told her. Sometimes children get overwrought at end of schooling. Look forward to the next school year, encourage her to understand the purpose of PE kit and enjoy the summer holiday

We all abide by rules and sometimes it’s arbitrary, that’s life

Of course.

The TA would have been right if there was a rule that stated children must not tuck in their tshirt. But that rule doesn't exist so the TA just made it up and the child felt embarrassed. This wouldn't bother some children, but it would others. The child wasn't bothering anyone by tucking her tshirt in, so it was just an unnecessary comment to show her authority.

It would not be bullying if another child said it. Bullying is not someone making one comment you don’t like! People saying that is only of the reasons bullying doesn’t always get taken seriously when it should

OP I hope you hide this thread and have a lovely summer with your daughter. I think there's been some extremely rude comments and a lot of shit and unoriginal attempts at humouring you and it's probably best ignored.

I hope you didn't complain,but only because I hope you and DD woke up today and celebrated the fact that it's the end of term and forgot about it

As I said I have kids who leave the house tidy and throughout school day look like they fell out a bin
Think the kids with the lost bobble, tuggy hair,scuffed shoes,manky face,scabbie knees
Yes, that is my kids
Talking to teacher at end of term, my kids waft by...half mast socks,tuggy hair,scabby limbs.blazer hangin off, missing buttons. fortunately the teacher is refreshingly normal,we exchanged a look and laughed

Wondered if the HT would have to go through he motions so to speak

Unless it's a written complaint invoking the school's complaint procedure, the HT doesn't have to do very much at all. Heads get a lot of complaints, many of them trivial...