To complain about TA comment

[dungandbother]

Dd was told off by a (strict) TA to untuck her PE T-shirt because it didn't look right.

I am outraged that she would comment on the appearance of a child and how they choose to wear their PE kit.
Yr 6 if it matters.

DD always tucks her shirt in because she doesn't like the feel of the waistband on her skin - no matter which uniform she's wearing.

Should I write and complain ?

Actually OP, hold back on that phone call, you might need to use it in September when your child is sent home (humiliated and in tears) because her trousers are too tight, her shoes are really trainers, her hair is a funny colour or any combination of the above , because let's face it , you are one of those parents and the Daily Mail awaits your sad face.........

There’ll be a reason for it- Trust the school. Shirt tucked in tightly is not good in terms of how it looks and also restricts movement in sports activity.

I don't know why the OP is being ridiculed so much here.

A TA asking a child to do up a shoelace – fine. Or change a shirt not in uniform colour to one that is –fine.

But saying their clothing doesn't look right/looks stupid, whichever it was she said, is a value judgement and a personal opinion based on no uniform rule or safety principle. It's just weird.

I'd go to the school and ask the TA to her face, or the head.

The TA sounds like a miserable cow but I wouldn't bother complaining. It's year 6, the end of the school year and your daughter is going to a new school. You can tell your daughter that you think the TA was wrong to show your support to your daugter but nothing would be achieved by complaining. Teachers and TAs are not always right, so your daughter has learnt that lesson. Hopefully as she gets older she will learn to not take things like this to heart as people everywhere can be arses for the sake of it. It doesn't make it right but it's part of life unfortunately.

This person came on here asking for advice and the responses she got seemed to me to be very belittling and demeaning. Clearly a lot of people felt strongly that the poster 'shouldn't' feel the ways she feels and are judging her for it, but she asked for advice and perhaps was seeking another perspective before taking action, which she got, but in what seemed like quite a hurtful way. If somebody in a position of power had told me sharply to change the way I wear my clothes in front of my peers, I'd be pretty annoyed and upset. If they talked to me respectfully about it, or pulled me to one side, I'd not be so bothered. It is important how our kids are spoken to (maybe one day they might find themselves in a controlling relationship where they are being told what or how to wear their clothes and knowing what's ok and how to hold boundaries will be of huge importance to them), but teachers have a lot of pressures on them and won't always get it right. Respect is important though, and it is useful for the adults in children's lives to be modelling this.

If what was said us true l wouldnt have said it that way.(Ex TA) l would have said something like " * untuck your top it will look better that way / you'll be able to move better etc etc
Its sad if she has been vile all year its taken till now to try and sort it.

Parents like you are the reason so many of us teachers are happy to get out !!

kill the TA immediately. Its the only way.

so if your child has his top on inside out, trousers/skirt on back to front or shoes on the wrong feet you wouldn't want them to be told in case it ridiculed them? Many schools have 30 children in a class and the TA is probably helping them with laces, shoes etc so may have sounded a bit brusque who speaking to your child but I am sure it was not intended to embarrass her, just to standardise the appearance of everyone so they wore the PE uniform on a consistent way.

I’ve come here after being emailed a link to this post from Mumsnet via email. I’m a little concerned about Mumsnet potentially exploiting neurodiverse members. Asperger’s can make you get upset about little things and be sensitive to clothing (it’s genetic and not a bad thing). Of course, the OP could just be feeling hormonal and daughter just entirely sensible (who wants harsh waistbands digging in- she should stick up for her right to tuck her shirt in!))

My DD insists on tucking all her tops into her shorts/skirts/whatever.
Sometimes she looks like a right helmet and if she does I tell her. And I'd appreciate someone else telling her if she looked like a helmet too.

Get a life.

stop exploiting the neurodiverse. like I said , find er and kill her.

Thisisnotreallymyname

To be fair, I think most parents would be glad that teachers and TAs that are miserable like this, got out !

I have very rarely complained to the school but there are a few teachers and TAs that just pick on things for no valid reason. No other teachers do so the problem lies with the minority of these miserable ones like I said in my previous post.

OP ‘if another child had sad it it would be clear and simple bullying’?

No it bloody wouldn’t. The over use of the word bullying is like nails down a blackboard. One cheeky comment (if you believe it is, the consensus seems to be it you’re overreacting) does not constitute bullying. Bullying is consistent, targeted, daily attacks on a person, not a one off comment. Flipping use of the term by parents completely undermines what bullying actually is.

Un professionalism ?

For real????
You want to complain????
Children get told off, it’s not a big deal.

I think the TA was out of order.

OH HAPPY DAY .....when kid goes to big school!!!

Im am a TA for 3 more days and than I'm resigning. The reason- too many parents like the OP & crap pay. The 'complaints' get more laughable by the year.

Will really miss the kids and generous holidays.

violet0805

Should it be about what she looks like though ? Surely it's more important that she was comfortable.

This has been a depressing thread. I really do think that if a parent so much as dares to suggest that a teacher/TA has been out of order, posters go on the attack and it can become very unpleasant.

I do agree that the OP would have been overreacting if she had made a complaint. But in fact she didn't, she came on here to get other people's opinions.

She did say this particular TA has form for this kind of thing, so it could be that she's finally snapped. A long line of small things can in the end make a person finally snap, hence the phrase 'the last straw'.

Some kindness wouldn't go amiss.

Tell us what you would complain about.
Then we can talk and not tittle tattle this issue.
Are you sure in all honesty you would have to simply complain that you were pissed off.
I agree in part about the adult thing but sadly some kids need to be told sometime. I figure you assume that the 'kid' should not be your DD.
I figure you never taught in a school, so don't really have a clue unless you did.

Apologies if it's already been suggested, but I think you should cancel the cheque, install penguin bollards, contact the local rugby team and dial 101 - all while clutching your pearls obviously.

Bloody hell can’t believe how long this thread is...
Should she have said ‘because it doesn’t look right’....no she bloody shouldn’t have! What kind of logic is that from a teacher to a pupil!?
Kids get told to tuck their shirts in all the time...apart from PE tops and then they should be out apparently. I remember those waistbands being uncomfortable especially in hot weather - too right she should be able to tuck her top in without being judged....by a teacher not another kid!
If it wasn’t coming up to the end of term and presumably on to a different school I would politely inquire what the school policy is on this and take from there. As it is, I would tell your daughter that she has every right to feel upset but to let it go and enjoy the upcoming hols x

VinoEsmeralda

But would you have commented on how a child wore her PE kit when there was no rule saying she couldn't wear it tucked in ?