AIBU to hose 9month old down in garden?

[Fluffywuffyunicorn]

Light hearted
So ds is teething so filling his nappy multiple times a day. Smells something rotten . I can put up with the smell, but, BUT he will not let me change him without a fight! He rolls away as soon as I start to take his nappy off, tries to scale the couch with his exposed shity arse. Tries to sit down on cushions. I'm fed up of trying to stop poo being smeared all over the furniture, floor, walls, me, clothes. I can't pin him down, and nothing distracts him enough. Can I just stick him outside and turn the hose pipe on?

I used to lie DS on the floor sideways on, and change him with one of my legs over him, pinning him down. It looked terrible (and sounds terrible!) but he was fine and it was the only was to restrain him. Or could you put him in the bath and change him by leaning over the side?

My ds suffers from toddler diarrhoea (getting slightly better) every day I would have to rinse him in the shower

Stand him in the bath and clean him rather than in the front room (gross)

Bathroom or kitchen floor, then, or change him in the bath? Then you can ‘hose’ him, gently with warmish water from the shower! Perfect!

Yep, hosing with shower head in the bath!

I would probably stop changing him in the living room and put a towel down on the bathroom floor to do it if it’s that messy! Then just stick him in the shower or bath

Hosepipe water will be VERY cold!

I would either clean him in the bath/shower or find a way to pin him down. Just keep telling him he needs to stay still, etc, he will get it eventually. Changing him over you knee may be easier to stop him wriggling away.
Keeping them on the mat and not rolling/crawling away was one of my non-negotiables, like teeth brushing, otherwise they end up thinking it’s ok to move away when changing and it’s then harder to stop as they get older. You can’t have him getting up and getting poo everywhere! What when you go to someone else’s house or are out and about somewhere.

No. I've always managed to change ds on his mat. Still do and he's 3 in September. It's not really that hard is it??

Can't you wash him off in the shower? At least the water won't be freezing cold!

We’ve got a changing mat with straps and it’s excellent for this. My 1 year old cannot escape from it and becomes happily compliant as soon as he’s strapped in. You can get them on Amazon. When I change him on a normal mat he screams and does poo gymnastics.

How about one of these from amazon to keep him strapped down/ distracted. Plus one keeps his hands away from everything (really big issue with my DS - why does he have to grab everything when he's done a poo!)

I had one who was somewhat difficult to change, I used to do it while she was standing up/leaning on something, FAST.

Hold by feet under shower, clothes peg on nose. Rinse clean. Drink alcohol.

Ds will not lie on a mat for anything. We have learnt to change him standing up. Took a bit of practice but it works quite well now.

YABU to change a pooey wriggly baby in the living room!

Bathroom so you can put baby in the bath or shower if necessary. We find bath is best as they can’t escape (well not so easily!)

Agree with the others- change him in the bathroom.

It's an easier room to clean and you have warm water for washing.

I take it the bit about hosing him down in the garden was a joke?

It would be a cruel thing to do otherwise.

Water from the mains tap is still alarmingly cold.

Isn't there a hosepipe ban?
I used to put mine in a baby bath filled with warmish water in the garden. Dunk him in that then use it to water the grass.

I used to change mine on my lap and pin them down with an elbow if necessary. I got it down to a fine art and could change them in no time.

For goodness sake some people on here have no sense of humour or imagination. She's obviously not going to hose the lad down with an actual hose! She's just trying to make light of an annoying situation.
And people saying it's gross to change in the living room can get a grip too. Most people do it. I've literally just done it.

She's obviously not going to hose the lad down with an actual hose!

Nothing would surprise me here.

Change him in bathroom! Then rinse under a warm shower. Sounds like a complete pita so totally understand.

Always find the perfect mothers come out in force “not that hard”

“And people saying it's gross to change in the living room can get a grip too.”

It’s not gross but the OP said herself that she’s sick of trying to stop baby smearing poo all over sofa etc

Sounds like it will be less stressful to just change in bathroom

Ha ha happymummy I also had a child who would let me change him no problem. Actually I had 2. Then dc3 came along. He was Houdini. If my dh was there we could both pin him down but it was horrible so I ended up just standing him in the bath and washing him with the shower head whenever he filled his nappy. Thank god he only pooed at home. Even better was dc4 was like the first 2 and would lay down almost mesmirised whilst I changed him

DD is only 7 months but I have to pin him down with one leg too. As soon as the nappy comes off all he wants to do is shove his hands in it while rolling onto his tummy.