AIBU to hose 9month old down in garden?

[Fluffywuffyunicorn]

Light hearted
So ds is teething so filling his nappy multiple times a day. Smells something rotten . I can put up with the smell, but, BUT he will not let me change him without a fight! He rolls away as soon as I start to take his nappy off, tries to scale the couch with his exposed shity arse. Tries to sit down on cushions. I'm fed up of trying to stop poo being smeared all over the furniture, floor, walls, me, clothes. I can't pin him down, and nothing distracts him enough. Can I just stick him outside and turn the hose pipe on?

@happymummy12345 changing him at 3? What years old?

Oysterbabe - yes exactly.
Let's drag all the kids upstairs to change the baby. 😂 🙈
OP, ask your pharmacist if they can help. 👍🏻

@Fluffywuffyunicorn when dd would do this I would wash off with shower hose then take her to a bedroom to ch age to abound hard bumps in the bathroom.

Yes pebbledash the bathroom, the shower is actually far far more powerful then the hose pipe. It blows air out with the water. I imagine the poo splatter from that would be a sight to behold.
At least in the garden I can lift up the man hole and wash it down there. Don't worry I'll put out some cones so ds doesn't fall down. Or I'll peg him on the line let him air dry/water the plants. I'll have to remember to bring him in before he gets "darked on"

So he would pebbledash the bathroom but it would only be a bit of poo in the garden? Not pebbledash? Is he vegetarian? Human poo isn’t really a fertiliser for gardens. Does he crawl in the garden?

The garden is already a whole mess of poo. Fox, cat, bird, maybe badger, rat, mouse...

Try some better nappies, we swear by pampers and always have. Bought some cheaper ones in Sainsburys and I think also Tesco but they were both awful. At least with a better nappy it should keep it inside better and absorb more so its less of a mess to change them.

@SistersOfPercy

Love it!

Whatever floats your boat. What would you do in the winter?

Probably won't work if you've not found anything else to distract him but... I too have a champion wriggler, we had to change her standing up from 7 months. If it was a bad poo one (I regularly change in the sitting room, who can be arsed to go the bathroom when you're on your own in your own sodding house!) I would stand her up at the side of the bath (outside the bath) and then pop the plug in and run some cool water with LOTS of bubbles. Generally the distraction of reaching out to try and touch the running water was enough of a distraction to get her changed. If not I'd get the worst off then plonk her in and use the hand shower. At least poo is much easier to clean off a tiled floor! (P.S. I'm sad to report that in my case study of one change time wriggling does not correlate with early potty training....)

@*AWoman I'll get dp to install a hot water tap.
@putmedown currently waiting on dp to finish the bath room. Currently have a floorboard floor. Only been waiting a bloody year
@cpayne I'm using pampers pull ups. Luckily there's no leaking. The problem is that ds doesn't stay still.

My first baby happily lay on the mat at each nappy change, my second has been changed standing up since 8 months as he refuses to lay down for anything.

We use pull up pants all the time now. For poos I prop him belly out against my left arm or stand him in front of something he cant climb, tear side of pants and use nappy to get the thick off him, then baby wipe as fast as possible before he realizes. Usually works, sometimes results in an impromptu bath.

I can't be bothered with traipsing up and down stairs to change him in our tiny bathroom whilst trying not to smash his head on anything each time, and we are not lucky enough to have a changing station built into our bathroom cupboard (don't even have a bathroom cupboard).

and we are not lucky enough to have a changing station built into our bathroom cupboard (don't even have a bathroom cupboard).

It wasn’t a changing station built into a cupboard. I said had one set up. As in, one that I, myself, put together by placing the changing stuff all in the same place, making it the changing station. It was a changing mat on the floor of the cupboard that was actually seat height because it was over the stairs. And a set of plastic drawers with all the changing guff in them. That’s it. Take the drawers and mat away (doable in about 10 seconds) and it was a bog standard cupboard. Really nothing to be snippy about. I’m sure you have bog standard things in your house that would make my life easier too.

Ha! I had an image of some sort of walk-in wardrobe job in your bathroom with shelves lines with nappies and wipes and full sized changing table!

Nope, Poundland version

Er because you can lift it out and then wash the bath. Think it through...

mate, you can hose down your grass, which btw is already full of other animals shit. Cats,birds, dogs if you have them. But think it through, there's a reason you don't just wash yourself in the toilet.

The garden is already a whole mess of poo. Fox, cat, bird, maybe badger, rat, mouse.

Oops, yes,didn't rtft, all those poos too.

But think it through, there's a reason you don't just wash yourself in the toilet.

I don’t think anyone has suggested OP do that. People have suggested the shower or bath.

@happymummy12345 and similar...

😂😂😂 we were all a bit like you once, smug in our naivety!! Then we learnt...

My second was a bugger for this. He used to kick me really hard as well. I used to pin him down, not sure how to best describe it but I’d lie him down, then kneel over him (facing the bum) with my legs tight to his sides so he couldn’t escape. Looked terrible but none of my weight was on him. One time he did manage to bite me on the bum though.

Due to food allergies, DS regularly exploded from neck to knee. I showered him off in the bath. Fortunately we have an adjustable electric shower in there. He was a wriggler and crawler anyway and tough to pin down. The bath tub was more contained and easily cleaned. Large lumps were fished out with loo roll and flushed down the toilet.

Nursery were provided with a baby bath.
It took half a pack of wet wipes to deal with it otherwise. Fortunately he didn't often explode in public places, but trying to use a baby changing room and keep him safe and the surroundings hygienic was erm testing!

Oh yes! The toilet is a much better idea. I'll sit him in it and flush a couple of times, and use the loo brush for any stubborn bits! After I will poor in a bit of bubble bath, flush a few more times. Hey presto squeaky clean baby.
Would i then be able to boast that my 9 month old is toilet trained?

Damn autocorrect *pour

@Fluffywuffyunicorn you mean your 9mo isn't toilet trained?! It's not hard is it?

I taught my 2 (out of three) wrigglers to bend over, so hands on floor bum up and stay still. I’d wipe them that way. Worked a treat. DC 2 was walking very early so probably did it like that from say 9 or 10 months (I think, can’t remember really it’s a blur of chaos)

The smug mums (not mentioning names) have now completely jinxed themselves for their next DC.