AIBU to hose 9month old down in garden?

[Fluffywuffyunicorn]

Light hearted
So ds is teething so filling his nappy multiple times a day. Smells something rotten . I can put up with the smell, but, BUT he will not let me change him without a fight! He rolls away as soon as I start to take his nappy off, tries to scale the couch with his exposed shity arse. Tries to sit down on cushions. I'm fed up of trying to stop poo being smeared all over the furniture, floor, walls, me, clothes. I can't pin him down, and nothing distracts him enough. Can I just stick him outside and turn the hose pipe on?

That weird poo snail literaly just made me lol.

I have an eight month old Tasmanian devil. I have to change him while pinning his arms with my legs in a sort of crucifix pose. Looks awful but it works and means it's as quick and smear free as possible.

Just be careful. If the hose has been sitting in the sun the water inside can get hot enough to scald. Always check the temperature before turning a hose on someone.

Laughing at the poo snail.

He's 9 months old, it can't be that difficult can it?

Under the sink tap?

Change him in the bathroom with the door shut. No shitty arses in my living room.

Poo snail

just do it in the bath/shower! If poo is too thick too hose off get a wad of loo roll or baby wipes and wipe it off. How powerful is your garden hose if the shower isn’t enough to hose it? Too powerful to use on a baby really. And then you’ve poo all over your garden? 🤢

Can't believe people are taking you on op :) hose away

No. I've always managed to change ds on his mat. Still do and he's 3 in September. It's not really that hard is it??

Well @happymummy12345, it wasn't that hard for me to have all three of mine potty trained by the age of 2...

And then you’ve poo all over your garden?

How is poo in the shower better than the grass?????

Yuk, I've never understood people who change nappies in the living room. Anything that involves shit and piss should be dealt with in the bathroom/toilet.

Let's hope you don’t live in the hosepipe ban area (even though it's yet to come into force in England)

How is poo in the shower better than the grass?????

Er because you can lift it out and then wash the bath. Think it through...

Stop making such a fuss, just gaffa tape him to the floor. Simple.

It's better to have poo on the grass as a bit of added fertiliser then to pebble dash the bathroom!

I'm hoping that his unwillingness to have his nappy changed means he'll potty train earlier.

Is anyone really going up and down stairs up to 12 times a day to change baby in the bathroom? Isn't that what nappy bins and wipe clean baby mats are for?
Especially in the first couple of months after birth when your likely to be in pain / discomfort still.

Is there anything your pharmacist or GP could prescribe to help settle the baby's tummy?

I’ve a 10 month old wannabe poo snail too. The bath is good but so is something forbidden for him to ‘look after’ (roll of loo roll, keys, NOT the sudocrem anymore because he can get the lid off silently like a ninja and eat a good gobful while I’m distracted with his bum - ask me how I know )

I really don’t see the issue with changing a baby standing up if that works better; less screaming and less poo squishing up the back is all good with me.

Just swill him off outdoors. He'll be fine.

So he would pebbledash the bathroom but it would only be a bit of poo in the garden? Not pebbledash? Is he vegetarian? Human poo isn’t really a fertiliser for gardens. Does he crawl in the garden?

For those that only change in the bathroom, are you not concerned about them bumping heads on tiles, toilet, sink, accidently getting one of dp's stray pubes stuck to their face? Ds doesn't stay still, he even wriggles in his sleep, bathroom floor is too dangerous. He needs lots of padding.
I understand why some clean under the shower, and I will consider it.

I had a changing station set up in the cupboard in the bathroom so no lying on floor or sinks to bang off.

I can imagine traipsing up and down to the bathroom to change your PFB. I couldn't leave the toddler alone while I did that.