What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

'D' everything. DD, DH, not only is it irritating and no one says it in real life, you get d fiance and d father, d partner and d parents and so it makes things hard to follow.

I agree, abbreviations mean some thread make no sense whatsoever

Dear Son, Dear Sister? Who knows, but it gives a complete different meaning to a thread

Wow, just wow. Combines passive aggression, condescension and cliché in just three words.

Blatant place-marking. PRESS WATCH THIS THREAD, YOU UTTER MORON.

Naice
Gavel

is another one that makes me gnash my teeth.

DD DH DS I hate it.
Just say son daughter husband arghhhh
You wouldn't say it in a conversation!

'Kill it with fire!!!'
'I've name-changed but I've been here for a long time, trust me'
Urgh nobody cares if you've name-changed. How is it relevant to your post? Also, what's it to us whether you've been on the site for 10 minutes or 10 years?!

I can't stand "LTB" being chucked around every time someone's DH forgets to take the rubbish out.

"Are you on glue?" is absolutely awful. I can't take anyone who uses the phrase seriously. Irrational, yes, but that's the point of the thread

wellBeehivedWoman yes it's so easy to fake! I have no idea what naice ham is

When I first started reading MN I was a little overwhelmed by all the acronyms (I thought DH was dickhead for a short time there ) but it bugs me when posters use DH or DP when they clearly don’t find their other half at all endearing.

I hate when threads go completely off topic with subsequent posters arguing with each other.

Also I hate “wind ups” - both the term and the action

Boils my piss
Ducks in a row
Iirc (because I constantly forget what it stands for)
I've found my people

^^
This

You are my people I haven't disagreed with a single one yet.

Has anyone caught themselves USING one of these and then questioned your entire existence? I said someone needed to get a grip on a thread recently and I had to go for a run to clear my head and restore normality.

People repeating the same joke about spider willies any time someone mentions leaving washing out over night.
People saying "the point is" as if saying this makes their opinion more valid than anyone else's

The expression "a dim view." Only headmistresses from 1950's girls' schools should use this expression

Honestly? The constant use of whilst.

'Unmumsnetty hugs' - has anyone ever been banned from MN for offering a pretend hug?

And in real life too, both of these:

'I was just a little bit sick in my mouth.' Where else is your vomit likely to come from?

'Gifted' - GIVEN, someone GAVE you it.

That stupid little raised eyebrow emoji too. Keep your raised eyebrow and shove it, in my view.

The asking of questions on here instead of googling and looking on official websites - like the one today about how an unspecified university issues it's exam results. Or factual information like the number of the tax credits helpline. Or how a load of people will give wrong information, and anyone who tries to correct them will be ignored.

The risk averseness. If you reheat rice, leave the house for a microsecond while DCs are asleep or eat something an hour after the useby date the Bad Thing will happen.

The hypocritical sexism. If a woman is a SAHP, she is a stay at home parent and her DH still has to do half of all housework, nightwakings and childcare when he's not at work. If the man is the SAHP, the working woman should expect to come home to a clean tidy house, with all the washing done etc, or else he's a cocklodger.

Yes the new CF is very annoying as was "cancel the fucking cheque" every 3 seconds.

Also, people hopping on secondary infertility threads to remind the op that they're lucky to have one. That's why you decided to have 3, eh?

I do hate the "I've NC but been here for ages" but I think it's reasonable to avoid the other MNism which is "Interesting first post OP "

🤨 this one? I quite like it 😅

Keeping the peace/moral high ground. Or my most hated, 'Let karma get them'
So the advice is to be passive basically, but wrapped up in a mumsnetty saying.

All of the above...