What MNisms irrationally annoy you?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

I know IABU to complain about something so petty but I don't care. Come and share your trivial mumsnet annoyances! What phrases / abbreviations / MN colloquialisms drive you crazy? I'll start:

1. Any time anyone uses the phrases 'boobing', 'boobed' etc when referring breastfeeding. Not only does this give me a mental image of a clown squirting milk from a comedy flower in their lapel, it also has a kind of juvenile, jolly-hockeysticks false cheer that makes me want to die.

1. Pg as an abbreviation of pregnant. No idea why I hate this. Maybe because it doesn't really resemble the full word? Irrationally despise it.

1. 'Little one' instead of baby or child. Too twee to be allowed. V similar to the phrase 'our little family', usually used when someone has a new baby and wants the equivalent of a papal enclave to keep friends and family at arms length. Absolutely loathesome because I am a grumpy and unreasonable cow

Any others that really wind you up?

Talking of regional Mumsnetisms. I find the use of rolls for sandwiches irritating, but people actually use that terminology? How do you distinguish between a sausage roll in bread vs a sausage roll in pastry?

Also the absolute refusal to believe that people do things different to them and that they know everyone they know to well enough to say things like 'I don't know anyone who doesn't shower everyday' or 'i don't know anyone whose DCs share a bedroom'.

Competitive food posters and unrealistically high expectations of what is standard/basic/average. 'its not 5 a day, it's a minimum of 10 a day you know' and 'how can you only spend £80 pw on shopping, I spend more than that on fruit and veg, my DCs inhale blueberries'.

Quite tempted to come up with some new ones just to annoy you all, as this is st least the third time this thread has come up in recent times. Hubalub = DH anyone?

A child being referred to as a LO.

Not been around long but things that have annoyed me so far are threads asking 'am I pregnant?' , people suggesting that OP's should call women's aid for literally everything and 'macdonalds'. It's McDonald's.

Actually gotten isn't so much an Americanism than an English one that's been in decline.
Shakespeare used it and Chaucerd used a slight variation on it

@Barbara it would be a sausage roll or a roll and sausage

Where I'm from it would be a sausage bun though.

Any thread beginning by "So".

TornFromTheInside
Oh wow. I think you meant Chaucer....

'OP but what you have to realise is that teachers are Gods who should never be questioned'

Trotted out whenever there's a thread and people have replied 'you should call the school for a chat, speak to the teacher, be polite, don't go in raging and be open to the fact that your child may well have not told you the whole story. It is highly unlikely they got a detention for 'just asking a question'.

Ditto any reference to 'blind obedience', again often turns up in the posts where 'school has rules and uniform. Home decided to buy black and yellow trainera instead of school shoes. Child is now in isolation because home told them go argue back and not to attend any detention' .

Bore off is the other one I can't stand,

"My spide(r?)y senses were tingling"
"I didn't want to read and run"
"She's a narcissist"
"She's jealous"

I rather like naice ham though

Can anyone explain naice ham to me? (Apart from nice ham with a posh accent.)

I did!
Should have put DChaucher in keeping with MN ;-)

Years ago someone found a shopping list in a trolley at the supermarket and on it was " naice ham " and it just stuck.

Tinkly little laugh
Spidey senses

Aaaaaargh!!!!

Wasn't it "nice ham" and "kids' ham"?

From scratch.

In this house.

For some reason, tinned toms makes me cross. And of course, some of the usages upthread.

It might have been lidoshuffle.

Oh God, the competitive cleaning/laundry/personal hygiene threads and their opposers. I watch those in a sort of masochistic way.

"Wow just wow" - usually about something trivial.
"This thread is not about... " and any other way of trying to control who is allowed to post - who made you the thread police.
Bitch plopping

Emetophobia - every fucker on her seems to have it.

No, you just hate the sight/smell/sound of people vomiting. It's not as though it's a fucking gripping Shakespearean epic for the rest of us. We all think it's grim. We all panic a bit. No-one wants to see/smell/hear it. Get over your fucking self, you're not special.

I totally agree about the 'emetophobia'. Get over it, everyone hates vomit.

‘Spidey senses’ - God, yes. As if some posters have magical powers that allow them to detect the OP’s hubster having impure thoughts about Janet from Accounts, purely on the basis of him declining a third Jaffa cake with his tea.

Naice, really annoys me. I am unable to continue reading any threads that use it.

Hubby. Don't know why, just LOATHE it.