To be thinking now of telling dh I don’t like him in vest tops ?

[LardLizard]

He was wearing on yesterday and I just find them yuk
Don’t know if it’s the hair arm pits or what
I was thinking oh don’t like him in that
But thought well it's got etc

Then we were talking about packing for holidays when he said I’ve just bought a few more of these pointing to his best top

I thought oh njustvweatva bloody t shirt !!

Like most women I also think they look awful on men, and yeah if my husband took to wearing them I'd say something. Just as I'd expect him to say something if he thought I looked awful in something. Still the individuals choice to wear it or not, but I see nothing wrong with telling them, or being told, nicely.

My fiancé wears black vest tops. They look good on him. But even if he didn’t it wouldn’t stop me fancying him plus I would not tell him what to wear!

Strange how his l tops that I find unattractive seem to wear out so quickly and get put in the pile for him to consider for throwing out or recycling. Whereas the ones I like on him get rescued from his discard pile.
Difficult if he has bought brand new ones though....

As long as you would be happy if he tells you you have to keep your shoulders covered as well as its too much flesh on show?

you’re going to tell a grown man what he can and can’t wear? Do you have control issues? If the shoe was on the other foot.......

you’re going to tell a grown man what he can and can’t wear? Do you have control issues? If the shoe was on the other foot.......

Oh get a grip and stop being such a drama llama. She said she was going to tell him she didn't like him in them, at no point did she say she was going to say he couldn't wear them,

And quite frankly the dudes walking about in vest tops. Nobody likes that, 🤣

For goodness sake everybody, read the bloody thread title: AIBU to be thinking of telling dh I don’t like him in vest tops.

Telling him her opinion, not banning them or controlling what he can and can’t wear.

since when is showing shoulders ir arms considered too much flesh....

werid.

I don't think I could stand it if my husband took to wearing vest tops. I think I'd have to say I really wasn't keen on them. They are so hideous!
Maybe if he looked like a hunky surfer type. But people may be questioning what he was doing with a slightly dull looking middle aged woman.
I think he would probably tell me if he hated something I had.
We can both choose to carry on wearing said item of clothing but would probably choose not to as we value each others opinion.

For goodness sake everybody, read the bloody thread title: AIBU to be thinking of telling dh I don’t like him in vest tops.

But the thread has moved on a bit since then, with people saying they'd burn them, ban their husbands from taking them on holiday and withhold sex until their husband wore something more suitable.

since when is showing shoulders ir arms considered too much flesh

Apparently since women decided that men shouldn't be baring as much flesh as they do themselves. DH is always complaining about this double standard - if vest tops are OK on women, then they should be OK on men, especially if properly sized and styled.

You could, of course, ask the same question about skimpy bikinis and speedo swimsuitss, but that's another can of worms altogether!

if vest tops are OK on women, then they should be OK on men, especially if properly sized and styled

Well sadly it's a simple fact of life that they aren't. They look awful. 🤷‍♀️

Agreed.

thouse who think it's showing to much flesh answer if they agree with schools rules that girls.. and boys I guess can't wear tops that show their shoulders or straps that have to be two fingers wide?

Well sadly it's a simple fact of life that they aren't. They look awful. 🤷‍♀️

Personal opinion. You can think that all you want, doesn't mean they can't wear them!

I agree with the OP, and would never wear one (I am a man).

YANBU to have an opinion on what he wears.

YABU to want to dictate what he wears. Unless you'd be happy for him to do likewise in respect of your clothes.

My OH has got the sexiest, most muscley shoulders and arms, and I still can't bear vests on men. I told him I can't stand to see people wear vests and he said he disagrees. I've never seen him wear a vest though so maybe he took the hint. He might sometimes say a very subtle 'you don't look your gorgeous self in that top' or 'I prefer that other top on you' and I take the hint. No biggie, he's usually right. But yeah, I want to find him attractive and I want him to find me attractive. Its only clothes. If I loved something and he didn't, I'd just wear it when he wasn't with me. I would just mention that you hate vests generally but if he loves them, let him crack on. Or have lots of accidents with red wine :-D

Vest tops only suit muscly men that aren’t fat

Bluntness you don't speak for everyone

I’d rather my partner stated an opinion. I frequently ask him about what to wear. If I had a good friend or sibling living with me, I’d ask them, but since Dh is the only other adult in my house I ask him 🤷‍♀️.

Saying she doesn’t like something is different to controlling what he wears.

And, just my opinion, those tops are not very nice on nearly all men.

I think you can say you don't like the tops. I would. I hate short sleeved shirts with collars on men (I don't even know why but I do) and I told DH. He will comment on what I wear too but is sensible enough to turn it into a compliment eg 'I really like a lighter blue on you as it matches your eyes more'.

Nobody's saying he has to take any notice.

Every one has the right to look hideous

^^

I think this is my new même

I think they look unattractive. Polo shirts would be a better option or even linen shirts.

halfwitpicker - I’m getting a tshirt with that on.

I have been fine-tuning that style for 50 years and now I’m calling it.