To use the word "naughty"

[speedymama]

DTS are 3 yo and go to nursery. This weekend they chastised me and DH for using that word. They did something that I had asked them not to do and I told them to stop being naughty. DT1 retorted with "don't say naughty, I'm not naughty, you can't say naughty". So I responded with "well stop misbehaving then!"

I spoke to the nursery about this and they confirmed that they are not allowed to use the word naughty because it labels the child rather than the act. Now I'm all for positive parenting but there comes a time when you have to just tell how it is. I don't call my boys name but I do point out their bad behaviour and I also praise them when they are being good. In fact, I praise more than I chastise.

As a child, when my parents told me that I was being naughty, I took notice. Now my 3yo DTS read me the riot act. Well, I will not be dictated to by a toddler and if that makes me a dinosaur in terms of modern day parenting, so be it.

So am I a recalcitrant, anachronistic, old fashioned dinosaur who refuses to indulge the latest fads in parenting as dictated by a bunch of pinko liberal, arm wringing, bleeding heart busybodies?

And that's where we disagree. 'Naughty' is NOT an insult to me. We will just have to agree to diasagree.

Sigh - diliberately obfuscate and misinterpret if you must!

deliberately (before typo is seized upon in frenzy of blood lust)

I love my child dearly. We all love our children.

But he's a naughty little fucker!

i thought we'd disagreed about that aeons ago, loveangel. and i wasn't misinterpreting what you wrote, hmc, i don't consider emotions repressed in out house, not at all. i'm from a big family and accustomed to loud noise and big hearts. but as a child i did not like my mother insulting me and my bro and sisters by calling us names, i much preferred my father's more thoughtful approach, so that's what i intend to try and model myself on. i never felt unloved or uncared for, quite the opposite, ours was an amazingly loving household, and still is. and it's not in the slightest bit emotionally repressed.

Ah that book is a blinder, ProjectI

HMC you may well be right, there may be people who are cosseting and over-protecting their children thereby leading them to become too feaful or whatever

but IMO and IME these are not the same people who are saying they feel uncomfortable about their children being labelled as naughty. IME of the posters on this thread disliking the word naughty, those who I know well enough to comment on, have the habit of letting their children get on with life in a very robust way. I think they are some of the least controlling and over-protective parents I know.

Loveangel ! agreeing to disagree
BTW I agree with you....even more Our children,( in the affluent west ), are the luckiest in ...the world. So chill out MNetters and cultivate a bit of ' benign neglect'...excuse me whilst I go off and get my naughty little DD off to bed..

mozhe, seriously, i'm all for benign neglect... my dd is not a cossetted child. i just don't want her nursery school teacher telling her she's ' a naughty girl'. is that so crazy?

Benign Neglect - I live and breathe benign neglect . dd1 played for an hour today with two stacking cups and a hoop at horsies.

and my dd1 (3) has been in bed since 8 because"I have a busy day tomorrow and need lots of sleep" Self regulating thats the way to do it!

where do you live, mrsa? we should meet up and permanently 'label' all these people...

Livi Aitch.

we could have a good old calvinist rant about People Getting Above Themselves.

lol, dh is a newtown boy. Grothes. hated it.

i don't do calvinist...

Calvinist is in your blood. I have to crush mine down regularly.

my Dh is a Lang Toun boy how odd. I was Auld Reekie then Fife unfortunately.

You're all being very naughty.

Now go and sit on the naughty step and think about how naughty you've been. Naughty children have worms for dinner. Do you want worms?

Well then. Think on.

no really... there's no calvinist in my blood. not a drop.

really honest and for true? Lucky you. I am the offspring of those from the north east they are riddled with it lol!

we're irish a couple back, not many calvinist proles in ireland. dh (east coast, prod) does have some funny ideas, though.

aha yes you dh who pronounces things correctly .

The penny did drop eventually about why no calvinist blood lol!

your obv.

aye, pork off.

Bring your Dd to almondvalley heritage centre.

We have ^baby lambs" heiland coos relatively healthy cafe, and baby guinea pigs

ps the nuserys i mentioned in the thread were all in Edinburgh. You are a weegie aren't you?

you could tell that from my pronunciation of pork?

yep