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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset my sister bought her baby son a golliwog toy?

125 replies

MsOedipaMaas · 17/07/2018 12:44

My sister recently sent a picture of her and her baby son (my nephew to whom I'm godmother) - and in the picture he is holding a golliwog doll. I was horrified that he had the doll (which I consider to be racist and can't even believe she could find for sale anywhere) and immediately messaged her saying I didn't want to sound like I was telling her how to raise her son, but that the toy was unsuitable given its history and offensive caricature and that it was unfair to give a baby a toy that was so widely perceived to be a racist object. I also included a link to an online article that explained the history of the toy and why it is considered racist. My sister sent a message back saying she didn't realise the history and understands it's not a socially acceptable toy and that the toy would be a "stay at home" toy and not be called a golliwog but a different name. I still don't think this is the correct response – I don't believe that any toy that is unsuitable for a child to take out in public, shouldn't be given to a child in the first place, and I believe that it's sending the message that "socially unacceptable" views are okay to have at home, as long as you don't let others know. She says she bought the toy because my dad had a similar toy growing up in the 1950s (which he has kept and has in his study). My parents (the grandparents) think that it's fine for him to have a golliwog. Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to appear to be telling her how to raise her son (he is the first baby in the family) but I also don't feel like I can stand by in this particular case without saying anything..

OP posts:
sunshinesupermum · 17/07/2018 20:51

I bought a golly doll about 3 or 4 years ago from a group of Black African women raising money for a girls school in Africa. I figured if they were happy to make and sell them I would happily buy one to help their fund-raising. I read about this initiative and thought it was great.

Metoodear · 17/07/2018 20:57

Offerto have him the bin the toy

Onwhitehorses · 17/07/2018 21:03

Not surprised at gp thinking it's ok though, that generation generally do.

ODFOD with your ageism. Age and race are both protected characteristics by the way....

C8H10N4O2 · 17/07/2018 21:22

Age and race are both protected characteristics by the way....

Yeah you'd think wouldn't you?

But at least once a month the golliwog thread comes around so that the hard of thinking can try and prove otherwise.

Singlenotsingle · 17/07/2018 21:26

A local shop sold gollies a couple of years ago. Someone complained and it got in the local paper. Black residents supported the shopkeeper. At the time he decided to continue selling them (and yes, it is legal) but they probably aren't all that popular so maybe he stopped.

I think the issue of black dolls is a bit different, isn't it? If there are no black dolls available for black children to buy, they would have every right to feel aggrieved.

Eggzandbacon · 17/07/2018 21:32

Your sister must live under a rock. They are as acceptable as ‘black face’.

My MIL was obsessed with buying DD one, she was hardly even interested in DD and didn’t buy her anything much, but had to get that though (I made my feelings clear and not too).
As someone said earlier she was ‘casually racist’ though.

Mousefunky · 17/07/2018 21:35

I had one as a child too but difference is, that was almost three decades ago. She should know the connotations, I thought nearly everyone did now. They’re fucking ugly things anyway, no idea why she wanted to buy one.

Giraffesandllamas · 17/07/2018 21:41

i only knew my toy as a Golly. he wasnt associated with being a representation of people he was a toy like my others.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 17/07/2018 21:50

I never had a golly toy, but I really wanted one of the metal badges you collected tokens for. I had no idea about the origins (and my parents are hideous racists so certainly wouldn't have told me). Now I know better and I wouldn't give them house room.

As a white person, I have no right to be offended by them, but it seems that they do cause offence (or hurt, perhaps?) to some POC, so I just choose other things which do not.

Dottierichardson · 17/07/2018 21:52
  • Yes they're racist and there are already loads of threads about them on this very site!

-And virtue signalling is an annoying term which tends to get touted by people who don't like being pulled up on their attitudes

  • Nor is pointing out that things are offensive the same as living in an authoritarian state
SheStoopsToConker · 17/07/2018 22:28

My son has two gollywogs, both bought in seaside towns. (And we're a white family!)

You don't say...

SalemBlackCat · 17/07/2018 22:31

@DontDribbleOnTheCarpet What metal badges were they?

SabineUndine · 17/07/2018 22:31

YANBU. 50 years ago a relative gave me a golliwog for Christmas. My mum disappeared it within the hour. I don’t know what the things are still on sale.

SabineUndine · 17/07/2018 22:33

Salem you collected golly tokens off Robertson’s jam for them.

This dates me, doesn’t it? Grin

BlueTears · 17/07/2018 22:41

None of your business. I'd be steaming if my sibling tried to tell me what to do with my kids!

The child sees a toy. That is all.
That is how is SHOULD be.
Unfortunately these dolls have racism linked to them so she said she won't go 'parading it around'.

Let the child have its toy for goodness sakes. It will probably be forgotten about long before the child is old enough to have any sort of comprehension of racism.

SalemBlackCat · 17/07/2018 22:47

SabineUndine Not being from the UK I've never heard of Robertson's jam.

Menarefrommarsitwouldseem · 17/07/2018 22:54

I used to have one

And I can't imagine getting too flustered if someone else bought one tbh.
Yes they're strange and un-pc but still can't imagine myself getting outraged about it

Seasawride · 17/07/2018 22:58

*mil was obsessed with buying dd a gollywog+

Could that be mumsnet bingo.

LaurieMarlow · 17/07/2018 22:58

Virtue. Signalled.

Grin
Seasawride · 17/07/2018 23:00

virtue signalling is an annoying term

Agree but not as annoying as those who virtue signal!

haribosmarties · 17/07/2018 23:04

YANBU I dont think they should be banned as a vintage item but they are not kids toys.

AdventuresRUs · 18/07/2018 04:20

I had the little badges - they were "gollies" in lots of different professions werent they?
I loved the doll too.

We had a dilemma as we had a lovely book (presumabbly linked with the jam) that I used to love and loved the story and wanted to share that with my children.... yet it seemed so inappropiate.

We dont have golly toys etc (my aunty knitted me one. It wasn't until much more recently - 10 years ago? - possibly on mumsnet, the penny dropped about what they actual were/stood for and of course we now wouldn't have them but I was relatively quite old as in my head Id just grown up with them as a toy like my giraffe etc. Im honestly quite educated but had never seen the link...

NeatFreakMama · 18/07/2018 09:41

Sounds like she didn't know and now she does she won't let it go out in public. The kid probably loves it so I can't see the harm in keeping it. No point going on about it.

ncbecauseiadmittoomuch · 18/07/2018 12:07

I wonder if cabbage patch dolls are ever going to be considered offensive?

From Wikipedia: According to an editorial in The Timesnewspaper, golliwogs were banned by the Nazis in 1934 on the grounds they were inappropriate toys for young German children, "for of all non-Aryans none is more completely non-Aryan than he [Golliwog]... Some say he is so attractive an advertisement for a black face that his presence makes it harder to teach the young to wash."

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 18/07/2018 12:43

Yeah, the Nazis banning a black doll, they were always so level headed too....

Hmm
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