Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at my Father over a muffin?

53 replies

mollysmammy · 17/07/2018 10:37

My Dad comes round most nights for his tea (he is a vegan, and doesn't eat gluten, wheat, soya etc. - I think I've only ever seen him eat three different foods, he used to eat everything!) He's also one of those teetotalers (not a bad thing...) but my will he judge you if you have a glass of Pinot at the weekend...

I will mention my Dad helps out A LOT both financially and with me and DD.

I'm a vegetarian as is DD (6) (I'm not precious about it with DD, and she does have some fish).

I work and I'm a single Mum (with no help financial or otherwise from her Dad). She goes to gymnastics, horse riding, football, rainbows, ballet etc.) so we're always on the go, and pretty hectic!

However, I always make a home cooked meal (two separate meals - as DD doesn't like the only thing my Dad will eat - lentil pasta, organic olive oil and garlic with wilted spinach!)

Last night I cooked her a bean burger (no breadcrumbs, mind), boiled baby new potatoes, and roasted broccoli... BUT I put it on a WHITE Kingsmill muffin with goats butter (the horror - go on judge WHITE bread AND dairy... The shame!)

My Dad kicked right off. Pretty much screamed the house down, and told me I was a terrible parent, and wasn't surprised I was single, as no one would ever want me (perhaps I need to meet a man with a love of bread of the doughy variety..!). All because of this damn muffin. I was so upset and told him to leave, I'm now just fuming about it. She eats white bread at school for God's sake! He stated it was 'cheap' and she was living a lesser life because of me.

I grew up on a staple diet of chicken nuggets, chips, alphabetti spaghetti, with the occasional pizza or McDonald's thrown in. And I had a stay at home Mum, and he had a good job

Sorry for the rant(!!!) I'm just so mad Angry Angry Angry

#muffingate

OP posts:
Dayas · 17/07/2018 10:39

This is mental

ferntwist · 17/07/2018 10:40

Your dad is VVU

multiplemum3 · 17/07/2018 10:40

Wtf

ichifanny · 17/07/2018 10:41

Wtf is with all the food guilt and hang ups , kids are alllowed to eat bread you know .

Knittedfairies · 17/07/2018 10:42

Stop cooking your dad’s dinner.

Silverstreaks · 17/07/2018 10:43

You have every right to be livid.

He's not in control of your or your DDs food intake. He needs to butt out. His food is ridiculously limited which is his choice but you need to offer your child a wide range of foods. If you limit it now she will only find them later.

Mookatron · 17/07/2018 10:43

Your dad has turned into a controlling husband figure.

Ditch him. You can manage without his help in exchange for freedom.

Emmageddon · 17/07/2018 10:43

Is your dad going through some sort of emotional crisis? This is an absurd reaction! His preferred diet, although healthy, sounds a bit disordered.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/07/2018 10:46

This is a joke, right?

SeaCabbage · 17/07/2018 10:47

Does your six year old DD really need to do all those activities? Are you able to cut down hugely so that you can afford not to have your father's financial help?

The boundaries are too blurred here. He thinks he has a right to say how you bring up your daughter. And unfortunately your father sounds like a) he is a prize hypocrite judging by your own upbringing and b) like he has rather worrying mental health problems which your daughter should perhaps not be witnessing.

WeeDangerousSpike · 17/07/2018 10:49

I opened this thinking your dad had eaten your muffin. How wrong I was!

Are you sure he's quite alright? That all sounds so far from normal I don't know where to start!

SleepingStandingUp · 17/07/2018 10:49

If this is out of character, I'd talk to him calmly. It's not a normal Orr acceptable reaction

MrsExpo · 17/07/2018 10:49

Seriously??!! That's crazy. Tell him that you're grateful for his help, but your DD is your child and you'll raise her your way. Why does he come to you for his tea every day? Sounds more than a little bit controlling to me. Heaven help you when you do meet a new partner ... how will he react then? He's being totally U.

Singlenotsingle · 17/07/2018 10:50

I can't see any protein in his lentil pasta thingy.
Anyway you grew up healthy didn't you?

krustykittens · 17/07/2018 10:52

I agree with PP, this reaction is utterly bizarre and over the top and I would worry about MH issues. And if there isn't any, then you need to be more independent of him so he doesn't think he gets to have a say in your life. Don't let this go, get to the bottom of it.

mrsm43s · 17/07/2018 10:54

You're either a troll, or your family have a whole lot of food/mental health issues.

BluthsFrozenBananas · 17/07/2018 10:57

Have you heard of orthorexia? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthorexia_nervosa

Your dad’s reaction was so ott it made think that he might be suffering from it.

Original poster
mollysmammy · 17/07/2018 10:57

I know it's hardly First World Problems, but I just want to scream Angry

He's getting more controlling by the day (I'm 30, not 3...!) - he was never around much when I was growing up (he was busy working very hard). Since going self employed he has a lot more free time (great for babysitting and running DD to classes, which I fully appreciate), but I feel like one of his employees (he used to be quite high up in the company...)

I appreciate he has helped us out, but he's still telling me who I can and can't date (okay perhaps I didn't make the best choice with DD's Father!) , and undermining me in front of DD (this really winds me up!), as she is getting less and less respectful of me.

She drew on my front door the other day, I shouted at her to get to her room, to think about what she'd done, and my Dad's latest phrase, is (to me), 'patient and calm' like I'm the child... Grrr...

OP posts:
mumeeee · 17/07/2018 10:59

Your Dad is being very unreasonable. It's not up to him what you give your daughter to it. A Kingmill muffin is fine.
You need to stop cooking meals for your Dad.
Regarding the activities. Does your DD actually want to do all of them? As that many in a week seems far too much for a 6 year old. When does she have abt downtime when she can just relax?

ushuaiamonamour · 17/07/2018 10:59

Yes, what SeaCabbage suggested. I presume your father is paying for all those activities your child takes part in and so you have to weigh the payoff against the price of it, i.e. dealing with his nonsense. (Myself, I'd let DD be 6 years old and run freely about in the back garden/play games in the park rather than load her down with organised prestige-play but you may be adamant that she continue as she is--and if you are, I expect you'll have to continue as you are and put up with him.)

ConciseandNice · 17/07/2018 11:00

Your dad is totally bonkers. And I say that as a spinach loving vegan. Scream away!!

mumsastudent · 17/07/2018 11:04

sounds like reformed alcoholic/smoker :) you know what I mean- they are even more evangelical about smoking and alcohol than people who have never indulged - "Thanks Dad for your help, but really?" so what else is worrying him that he goes off beam like this. Your kiddies your way, food is meant for enjoyment and for socializing too, not just for nourishment.

MrsJayy · 17/07/2018 11:05

I dont understand you eating nuggets and chips as a child yet he goes batshit over a breadroll ? Meh children can process white bread he is a food control freak stop feeding him his dinner,

BitOutOfPractice · 17/07/2018 11:06

There's only one person in this scenario with a crap diet clue: it's your dad

Dvg · 17/07/2018 11:07

Errrrr ... he sounds abit deranged

Swipe left for the next trending thread