AIBU to be angry at my Father over a muffin?

[mollysmammy]

My Dad comes round most nights for his tea (he is a vegan, and doesn't eat gluten, wheat, soya etc. - I think I've only ever seen him eat three different foods, he used to eat everything!) He's also one of those teetotalers (not a bad thing...) but my will he judge you if you have a glass of Pinot at the weekend...

I will mention my Dad helps out A LOT both financially and with me and DD.

I'm a vegetarian as is DD (6) (I'm not precious about it with DD, and she does have some fish).

I work and I'm a single Mum (with no help financial or otherwise from her Dad). She goes to gymnastics, horse riding, football, rainbows, ballet etc.) so we're always on the go, and pretty hectic!

However, I always make a home cooked meal (two separate meals - as DD doesn't like the only thing my Dad will eat - lentil pasta, organic olive oil and garlic with wilted spinach!)

Last night I cooked her a bean burger (no breadcrumbs, mind), boiled baby new potatoes, and roasted broccoli... BUT I put it on a WHITE Kingsmill muffin with goats butter (the horror - go on judge WHITE bread AND dairy... The shame!)

My Dad kicked right off. Pretty much screamed the house down, and told me I was a terrible parent, and wasn't surprised I was single, as no one would ever want me (perhaps I need to meet a man with a love of bread of the doughy variety..!). All because of this damn muffin. I was so upset and told him to leave, I'm now just fuming about it. She eats white bread at school for God's sake! He stated it was 'cheap' and she was living a lesser life because of me.

I grew up on a staple diet of chicken nuggets, chips, alphabetti spaghetti, with the occasional pizza or McDonald's thrown in. And I had a stay at home Mum, and he had a good job

Sorry for the rant(!!!) I'm just so mad

#muffingate

Who ya gonna call? Goats butter! 😂

I think you need him to back the fuck off and you have every right to do this. His support, financial or otherwise, does not get him to buy your consideration or for you to put up with madcap, abusive and totally inappropriate behaviour

You very much HAVE to separate your life from his. That's not to say you need to avoid him - but you have to be fully responsible for you and your DD.

Can't afford an activity / can't get to it? Then she doesn't go.

By him being so involved emotionally, financially and time wise he of course feels he has "rights" and is totally over stepping the boundaries.

By all means invite him for tea one night a week - but its an invite.

You also need to say to him that he was completely out of line. She is your daughter and you will raise her as you see fit. And that next time he dares shout or be derogatory to you you will need to take a long hard look at whether he is continuing to be a positive influence in your lives.

I also suspect your dad said the nasty comment about you not finding a partner as the current arrangement suits him very well and you finding a decent partner would negatively impact him.

Who ya gonna call? Goats butter!

Snort!