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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not split dds winnings.

325 replies

Damnivy · 16/07/2018 12:22

So my dd just won £105.
We as a family did a world cup sweep stake. There are alot of us, and we put £5 per adult/child in each. We were mostly all present when teams were drawn from a hat. So all was fair. Obviously who ever drew the winning team got the money. Was just a bit of fun.
So my dd won, she had frace. Everything good, everyone happy.
Exept my dad just sent a text to our family group saying he had drawn the money out and it was at his ready to be collected. SIL replys in group chat asking how much the kids have each??? Mum and dad both replied with laughing emoji things thinking she was making a cheeky joke. But no, she then text to ask is it just the smaller children it will be split between or older ones too? To this my dad replys no it's not being split, it's my dds money, she won it fairly. Then SIL is not happy saying how it's not fair, all the children will be so disappointed, and that it would just be greedy to keep it to herself.
No iv not replied as iv just seen all the text, and quickly spoke to my dad, he says it's up to my dd but he and mum don't think it should be split at all.
Now I have 4dcs and the dd that won is my youngest, she's only 3. She has no care for money, and wouldn't understand if it was split, but still, I had no intention of splitting it between my own dcs so why should I split it between them all?
I never really thought about it, just see it as that's dds winnings.
So wwyd? Am I being unreasonable to just let dd keep it and risk a family row in an otherwise happy family, over £105.
I doubt very much that they would have split it if it had of been there child or them that had won! There has never been any mention of this at all until now!

OP posts:
Basta · 16/07/2018 14:33

If you want to be completely fair, why don't you split it between everyone who took part in the sweepstake? Hmm

trojanpony · 16/07/2018 14:33

No way don’t split

its a good life lesson for all of them. Giving small children back the money they “gambled” doesn’t give the right message

MrsGarethSouthgate · 16/07/2018 14:36

Did one of her children have Croatia?

Duskqueen · 16/07/2018 14:37

Omg, it is your DD's money, put it in the bank for her, do not split it.

ScrubTheDecks · 16/07/2018 14:37

A contribution to the trampoline is a great idea, and she will still have some on her savings.

SIL is a double decker CF if she thought you would share the money between your younger kids and her kids, leaving out your older kids!

If as an adult I won a sweepstake I would spend it on a BBQ for all who took part because I think that makes it a bit of fun rather than gambling, but I would never in a million years even think of making a suggestion like your SIL has done.

Had I won our work sweepstake (I didn't ) I would have donated the money to our work charity. I wouldn't feel comfortable profiting form colleagues money.

starlight2017 · 16/07/2018 14:39

When I was young I used to have a paper round. My mother upped my older sister’s allowance so it was the same as mine + my wages, to make it “fair”. It wasn’t fair. Sister didn’t have a job. It was equal.

In the summer I got a job strawberry picking. I was good at it and made a LOT of money. Mother couldn’t keep up with the extra money to sister, so sister got a job strawberry picking also. I was quicker than her and we were paid by the punnet, so I made more money. I was forced to share. We had to pool our money and split it equally even though I had done most of the work. Again, according to my mother, this was “fair”.

My sister would be asking for a share, or for her kids to have a share, of a child’s winnings. Taking from others if they have more is all she knows.

Gemini69 · 16/07/2018 14:39

it's your Daughters money... it's her business what she does with it.. not your or your Sisters..... the end Flowers

Hygge · 16/07/2018 14:40

@starlight I'm sorry your Mum did that.

She was wrong and it was completely unfair.

ThisCannotBe · 16/07/2018 14:41

@starlight2017 Shock

Quartz2208 · 16/07/2018 14:42

what on earth would be the point of doing a sweepstake if you then split the money - why bother. No adult would share

I agree with a previous poster save £100 and spend £5 on sweets etc for the kids to share

LEELULUMPKIN · 16/07/2018 14:42

This is beyond cheeky.

Tell her to do one. The money is your DDs, end of. And good for the GPs agreeing!

Tara12 · 16/07/2018 14:42

Tell them they are being ridiculous and your dd has the money for she won it! Hoenstly! I once won £20 on card and everyone thought I would give it to them. Money divides people. Don't divide money!

starlight2017 · 16/07/2018 14:43

Hygge Thanks. It had repercussions though. When our mother died my older sister got into tens of thousands of pounds of debt. She’s still in it now, lost her house and car.

It’s so important to teach the value of money and how to work for it.

sockunicorn · 16/07/2018 14:47

I think do it exactly as you say, using the £30 for the trampoline as all 8 childrens treat.

the part that im in shock about though is that this is you sister IN LAW. Not even your sister! And she has the balls to message you and your parents saying youre unfair. Shock. I find it even cheekier than a married-in family member would potentially start such a row and show how greedy she is! does she have form?

MrMeSeeks · 16/07/2018 14:49

Do not give sil any!
Id maybe give a £10 to your other kids and say its a gift from their sister but the rest is hers! Doesnt matter her age!
Sil is trying it on!

Billben · 16/07/2018 14:59

I'm shocked at the cheeky fuckeriness of some people. Do not give your SIL any money. I'm glad your parents agree with you (and all of us here). The money belongs to your DD fair and square.

Biker47 · 16/07/2018 15:03

Contributing to the trampoline is a good idea, but I wouldn't mention that to her though, or she might think she's won a small victory over you and she possibly may even ask to borrow the trampoline at some point, claiming that because the sweepstake money went on it, her kids somehow part-own it.

I'd just say I'd put it all in a saving account, and buy the trampoline.

Jaxhog · 16/07/2018 15:06

Seriously? Your DD entered a family sweepstake, and someone else thinks she should share it? I would bet my life that they wouldn't be offering to share if one of THEM had won!

The whole point of a sweepstake is that ONE person wins. If she wanted a different outcome, she should have said so beforehand. Not after (she lost).

Jaxhog · 16/07/2018 15:08

As she's only 3, I'd put it in a saving account for her.

HollowTalk · 16/07/2018 15:13

I'd say "Next you'll want a share of my lottery win" and let her stew on that.

Knittedfairies · 16/07/2018 15:25

Starlight that sounds awful! Fair, indeed.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 16/07/2018 15:40

Do not split it! If you got any kind of bonus from work etc. would you split that amongst your family?

newsparklythings · 16/07/2018 15:42

Biker makes a good point.. get 1 step ahead of the CF

No reason why it shouldn't all go into your DD's savings until she is old enough to decide what to do with it - at age 3 you are her protector, but no one should necessarily be deciding how to spend her money

TypicallyNorthern · 16/07/2018 15:47

You babysit her DD's every Sat so they can work and now she wants some of the winnings. Your SIL has more front than Blackpool.

Vickyyyy · 16/07/2018 15:52

LOL. Of course you shouldn't split your daughters winnings. What a cheeky fucking person your SIL is Grin

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