Baby not sleeping husband stropping

[confusedmummy90]

So it's gone 9 my little boy co sleeps and still boobs to sleep every night still won't self settle no matter what I have tried he's 10months DH has had a complete hissy fit as he's still awake and says he wants adult time and that he's almost a year this is ridiculous 🙄I can see what he's saying but I just think my ds won't be like this for ever Aibu to just tell him to get a grip

Sounds like you have 2 children to look after.....

YANBU to tell him to fuck off get a grip

YABU to use the term boob to sleep

10 months is nothing, my 4 year old still won't sleep. Yanbu.

everyone to their own, but IMHO l do agree with your DH...by 10 months of course he wants to spend some time with you..be flattered!

Both mine were in bed for 7.30 each night, as by then l was desperate to forget being a mum for a bit and have an adult conversation.

If you want to continue to breasfeed to sleep, could you not carve out some time to spend with DH earlier in the evening or go out once a week?

You are right, it won’t be forever, but you and your DH need to be on the same page or you are just going to cause problems for yourselves. The first year is always a challenge for couples and you need to be a team.

Perhaps you could try to switch up the bedtime routine a bit, so you do a bedtime feed and then DH does a bedtime story and tries to settle DS in his own cot - if he wakes later on then you can Co sleep and you’ll have had some adult time first.

And yes I know this is easier said than done! I hope you manage to find a compromise that works for your family.

Each to their own but personally I’m inclined to agree with your DH, at 10 months I’d expect some adult only time in the evening. However, his stropping is neither helpful or constructive.

I agree with your dh tbh.
At 9 months old, I would have them asleep in their cots by 7pm to enjoy some grown up time with dh.
That's important too.

Some kids just don't sleep, we had one. We were both desperate for adult time but it simply wasn't possible. Your DH needs to understand that some babies just don't sleep.

And I did try to get DS down at a "reasonable" time in his own room but it just resulted in hours of screaming for him. Which makes for shit adult time.

Dh and I have FINALLY started to get regular adult time in the evenings in the last few weeks.

Ds1 is 3.

Oh for goodness sake...DS1 slept 12 hours a night from 7 weeks ( I kid you not!!)

DS2........ OMG!!!! 6 years!

10 months is nothing and he's being UR!!!

Righty ho, sounds like he has just volunteered to sleep train the child.

What have you tried?

He needs to get over it. Not every child hops into the cot at 7pm for 12 hours.

At 10m it would be wise to begin tackling the way your child goes to sleep. Or you'll still be here in a year's time. He does not "need" the boob to sleep...you have shown him that.

Oh god he's 10 months! He's tiny, you don't need to tackle this if you don't want to

What is boobs to sleep?

We went out for the day today, DS2 fell asleep in the car 5-7pm. He was still awake at 11. He's almost 3 and has never gone to bed before 9. If DP had ever moaned I would've left him to it to show me exactly how he could get DS to bed any earlier.

NotTaken the child is breastfed to sleep

Coconut it's great that your set up works for the three of you. Clearly the op's is working for her and the baby but really not for her dh. Is he not allowed any opinion on the matter?

YANBU, your DH needs to be more patient. Yes, it’s hard but you are doing all of the work so really he shouldn’t be complaining but rather trying to support you.

That makes it impossible for him to share the load then or understand how it is trying to settle the baby.

I know stroppy isn’t ideal, but he’s telling you he needs you too. It would be loving to listen instead of belittling him.

Your husband is behaving like an arse. 10 months is still little. Is he always this selfish? He needs to step up and behave like a father.

I've never been less attracted to my DH than when he gets sulky or stroppy, dries me right up tbh.

You could start weaning him off the breast if you wanted to.
Depends on how your baby responds tbh, DS1 was a horrendous sleeper until 4 😱 and DD1 slept from 9pm-7am from 4/5 weeks with minimal disruption during growth spurts and teething. 🤷‍♀️

If you do try to change his bedtime routine get your DH involved, if he's so desperate for adult time I don't see why he can't help create time for that as well, it's not just up to you.

Your DH is being unreasonable by stropping. Its so unattractive. But, I would absolutely advocate starting to sleep train (there are gentle methods) at 10 months.

Sleep is a skill which needs to be learned, especially self soothing. (I breastfed till he self weaned at 13 months, cosleeping still. But DS has to start the night in the cot. I did controlled crying out of desperation at 16 months, wish I'd done it earlier. If/when DS wakes in the night, he gets brought in with me to bed share.

Your relationship with your DH is important too, but tell him to get a fucking grip, babies sleep through when they're ready. It's developmental.