To think my pram looks fine as it is?

[Lipsticktraces]

Fairly lighthearted, but this is driving me slightly bonkers.

I’m 29 weeks with twins. First grandchildren for both sides of the family. My DM is understandably very excited about it all.

We’ve bought a Icandy Peach Blossom pram and I’m very happy with it. It looks really nice

However DM is insisting that we need to “make it look prettier” with fancy pram blankets etc. I’ve tried putting one that my MIL crocheted for us over the carrycots, but I think it just looks weird. The carrycots aren’t really designed that way from what I can tell. I’ve tried explaining this to DM, but she gets shirty with me and goes on about how I need my babies to look nice She’s also just bought me two highly padded, frilly pramnests that’s she’s insisting I use. Tbh they just look like a massive SIDS risk, but I daren’t tell her!

I visited yesterday and she told me her friend is going to be knitting something for the babies. I said that’s very kind of her and asked what. DM then said she’s knitting you covers for the carrycots! I tried nicely explaining that I probably won’t use covers, that sorting two babies will be time consuming enough without faffing with unessacary covers etc. It just totally falls on deaf ears.

AIBU? Is the appearance of your pram such a massive thing? Am I just an utterly lax and careless mother to be by not wanting my pram to look like a frilly cake?

I absolutely didn't know that this was a thing, until someone came into the shop with their pram all done up like an over-iced cake, with the baby's name on a sort of glitter banner thing draped over the hood and a kind of lacy-pantie effort over the pram itself.

I hate to say it, but it looked like it was worried about being outchavved.

Crochet blankets are actually quite useful for the cot and when they're older. My dd refused to wear anything knitted and would tug at it, even from birth. You could put it away for Sunday Best and then give to Barnardos later. I was brought up without central heating and I was always paranoid dd would be too hot. My dh suggested that an extra blanket was more likely to get her to sleep than for her to overheat and die. I think it's probably the same excitement.

Oh OP you have my sympathy. Years ago we lived in a major fishing town in the NE Scotland. They are massive fans of lots of frilly blankets. They also put the HUGEST baby bonnets on their kids. I’m sure the kids end up with neck injuries trying to lift their heads up! They all use those old fashioned Silvercross proms too so I got the oddest looks with my Mamas & Papas

I would ask for blankets for them to lay on on the floor. My friend crochets Little blankets and adds little bits of crochet with other yarns to make a sensory blanket so that they can play with it. Also ask for Little cardies and booties

Can sympathise op, my mil and sil both love these sort of things, I think they're tacky and much prefer a plain blanket.

I bought some wool and a baby hat knitting pattern so we could have a plain baby hat with a strap (like pic attached) so it actually stays on dd head but she would only make me impractical frilly things which would fall of or dd would pull off.
I sound ungrateful but we had a high end baby shop near by full of lovely clothes, they got us the tackoest polyester thing.
The owner took pity on me and exchanged it without a receipt

Ahh picture didn't attach

My god does she even know how much an icandy is ?! They are lovely prams as they are - who wants to cover such a lovely park over with frilly knicker looking blankets - it’s not the 90’s - that was a think in the early 90’s / I did it to my eldest child - grill every where - poor child - I cringe now !! My youngest who’s two has nt seen a frilly - but she’s had some gorgeous hand knitted cardigans - and booties - I love to see babies in them / it makes them look so cute.
Stand firm with her - you don’t want your children cringing at all their baby photos in 20 years lol 💕

With my lb, he was born in September, we just wrapped a wool knitted blanket over the top of him when it was cold. Same in the car, we would put him in his seat, fasten him in and then put the blanket on top.
You really don't need all the frills, it will be more than enough already for the babies. Just keep rinse and repeating with her and if she gives you any whilst at her home accidently forget them and keep doing so u til she gets the message.

I had a number of family who knitted things like that. I gluing my Mum, I didn't want to make Ann issue so as others have already suggested I used them a few times n let it end up in washing basket. Hardest was my mums, she knitted covers that fitted snuggly round and had to be constantly adjusted. She always asked where they were if I didn't have em and would produce another until she saw me struggle (I only have one arm) and it suddenly dawned on her why I hadn't been putting them on and she laughed and said I should have pointed it out a long time ago and she took the ones she had made and a few others to a woman's refuge. I also preferred to use a sling rather than a pram anyway, hubby used pram on n off but I'm in wheelchair so just used sling as much as possible

My children are young adults. No gc yet, but i was a new mother who received handmade blankets once upon a time.

Frankly, I think that if my daughter or son was as ungrateful and dismissive as most of you are being, I would tell them: Be NICE.

First, not every thought must be spoken.
Second: take things in the manner in which they are intended.

I no longer have my mother or my grandmother and would be delighted to have a frilly frufru baby blanket made by them.

If you do not use them, simply graciously say "thank you" and set them aside.

gross
and yes you are correct about the SIDS risk so deffo don’t use them..
i has the i candy peach blossom a lot professionally and you can’t knit carry cot covers
it will be awful to look at and impossible to use
tell her to get her own pram to decorate

Ask for knitted toys. You can dangle them on the pram.
She sounds like my exP's auntie. Went on and on about blankets and clothes for a family wedding.
It turned out that she was worried people would think I was poor/struggling single mum as the Petit Bateau outfit I'd bought him was too plain. She took him to change his nappy at the wedding reception and he came back out with a next 3piece baby suit on!
I realised she didn't know that I'd splashed out a bit for his outfit, took it as well intentioned and changed him back after a nappy leak

catsinthecupboard I'm with you- OP as with all unwelcome/unsolicited advice you don't have to take it. Just smile, nod and ignore. When it's items that aren't to your taste just say a pleasant thankyou and dont use it! It's coming from a place of kindness, the only time I'd worry about this situation is if your MIL gets cross about you not using it. Then it would just be a case of saying "sorry, we loved having some handmade things it's just a shame they were difficult to use and not really our taste. We love the floor blanket though, it gets loads of use!"

It would be terribly ungracious to ask people what gifts they were planning on getting your babies just so you could check that you like the gift before receiving it, and I cant see that this is any different.

But I agree that the frills are just AWFUL 😂

babyno5 we love just south of that town and occasionally see the prams in the city, they are amazing!
I’d try to direct the efforts to things you will use, knitted or crocheted cellular type blankets are great, we also used traditional knitted baby booties especially in the sling and ultimately I requested my mum to knit him a teddy, she did a wonderful job but that did seem to be the end of her wanting to knit things

Oh this sounds soooo familiar!!! My MIL is lovely but very elderly and old school, and she was forever telling me my DTs were going to be cold if I didn't wrap them in multiple blankets 24/7! DS always pulled off his socks and even though his feet sometimes felt a bit cool, he was obviously happy. But MIL used to say 'well I never wanted my children to get pneumonia....!' So PA! But I just ignored her and although she still has 10 blankets on their beds if we ever stay there, and she knows I always remove the lot and turn off the storage heater, we just do our thing and don't get bothered. Use the knitted stuff when it is cold - but don't feel guilty the rest of the time.

Congrats on the twins. I wouldn’t even worry about discussing it. I’m a twin mum - born in winter and tbh they rarely went out as it was such a hassle bundling them up. It took me half the day and I was usually too tired/busy. Plus twins are normally smaller and you often spend longer in hospital so it may become a moot point. Although it sounds like unlike me you might be offered a lot of help. Whether you want it or not?! Take it but be forceful about where you want the help. Good luck. Its very exhausting And rewarding.

Putthekettleonplease - 🤣

Congrats on the twins!

My MIL was like this. Might be an odd thing but by any chance is she in Scotland? The frilly padded pram cover things are very popular there and kind of "de rigueur". She knew I didn't like them but bought me one anyway while visiting FIL's family on the outskirts of Glasgow. It had Winnie the pooh on it (I'm not a Disney fan) and more broderie anglaise than I've ever seen on anything. She knew we didn't want one but bought one anyway thinking she would win us round. She didn't, it was hideous and I never took it out of the bag. With my MIL it was a control thing - she comes from a family where paternal grandmother chooses the child's name, regularly takes care of the newborn and generally has a lot of control and she didn't get any of that with us. I think your MIL is just excited. I agree with others, explain the SIDS risk and say thanks then maybe suggest if she wants to make or buy anything special some little cardigans might be useful. A handknitted cardigan turns any outfit into something really cute - you can chuck them on over sleepsuits and nobody will know that the babies are actually in their pyjamas because you were late and everyone was crying and it was THAT morning.

The blankets are quite useful - I’m a knitter and knitted one for my baby, plus three knitted by friends. I used mine to put over her in the car seat once she was strapped into it. One of the others I used to put over her at naptime if she was in the Moses basket rather than the sling. The others I used under the carrycot cover as an extra layer during the winter. It was an easy way of adjusting the temperature even when she was sleeping.

I did also receive some monstrosities from knitting friends - particularly memorable was an all-in-one thing in glittery scratchy acrylic that didn’t have access at the bottom end for a nappy change - it was really hard to get her in and out of it and totally impractical for a baby! She wore that once for a photo and then it went to the charity shop. Friend is totally oblivious to this and has since knitted her a very favourite toy which she gets regular photos of.

It is annoying when you’re sleep-deprived and have a million things to do to have to remember who gave what and to send them a photo - although at least know it is easier just to quickly take a pic and then email or msg it. I kept a notebook on the table near the door and wrote down each thing as it arrived and then ticked off each thing as I thanked them for it. It was a bit overwhelming though, must admit!

Steer the knitters towards Ravelry- there are some lovely patterns on there. One of my favourites was the Puerperium cardi which comes in lots of sizes and is really easy to get them in and out of.

Winnie the Pooh is NOT Disney!

Whats not to like?

Ridiculous! You don't need anything for a pram. Neither the baby or the pram is a fashion accessory.

catsinthecupboard I dont think anyone is suggesting that OP should thrust the blankets back in DMs face shrieking "Take these ghastly things away and burn them.They shall never sully any pram of mine" as your tone seems to suggest :D

@Catsinthecupboard

I see what you mean. But I really wouldn't want people (especially my mother or grandmothers) to invest time in making something we won't like / use.

I guess it depends on your relationship with the gift giver.

Some people might appreciate a heads up / are even happy to be told what the young parents still need or want. ('we already have a lot of blankets but booties or a baby hat would be great...')

I'd want to be honest with my own mother... I'd feel like lying would be much more insulting to her / our mother-daughter relationship.

Agreeing / pretending to be pleased with someone suggesting they knit something I dislike is imo quite passive agressive. I'd do that someone I didn't like all that much / didn't mind them wasting their time...

Or if I felt like we didn't have a secure relationship / didn't want to rock the boat.

Eurochick - sorry to have to tell you that Disney bought the rights to Winnie the Pooh about 15 years ago. It was a very sorry day indeed.