To think my pram looks fine as it is?

[Lipsticktraces]

Fairly lighthearted, but this is driving me slightly bonkers.

I’m 29 weeks with twins. First grandchildren for both sides of the family. My DM is understandably very excited about it all.

We’ve bought a Icandy Peach Blossom pram and I’m very happy with it. It looks really nice

However DM is insisting that we need to “make it look prettier” with fancy pram blankets etc. I’ve tried putting one that my MIL crocheted for us over the carrycots, but I think it just looks weird. The carrycots aren’t really designed that way from what I can tell. I’ve tried explaining this to DM, but she gets shirty with me and goes on about how I need my babies to look nice She’s also just bought me two highly padded, frilly pramnests that’s she’s insisting I use. Tbh they just look like a massive SIDS risk, but I daren’t tell her!

I visited yesterday and she told me her friend is going to be knitting something for the babies. I said that’s very kind of her and asked what. DM then said she’s knitting you covers for the carrycots! I tried nicely explaining that I probably won’t use covers, that sorting two babies will be time consuming enough without faffing with unessacary covers etc. It just totally falls on deaf ears.

AIBU? Is the appearance of your pram such a massive thing? Am I just an utterly lax and careless mother to be by not wanting my pram to look like a frilly cake?

Oh yes, I was sent a gorgeous set of crochet booties in grey wool - they were brilliant as they kept his feet warm in the car seat and sling. I loved them! And little hats are useful as well. (DS was a Christmas baby so we needed all the warm things).

Tell her about the sids risk. Might make it easier to refuse? Crocheted pram blankets certainly don't offend me or anything. I had a few myself and I used them. Under the carrycot apron thing though. Take them if she insists. Blankets are handy to have.
Check out Morrck car seat blankets though. V handy, especially if you're doing everything on the double. They are somehow affiliated with tamba but not sure if its a discount or if they donate money to the organisation.

Car seat blankets are brill as you can open and close them without them falling off and means babies won't overheat if they're in the house.

I'm a frill hater. Nothing worse than pinky frilly cover's

@WeeDangerousSpike I’m glad it’s not just me thinking those carrycots aren’t designed to have anything over them!

I’ve got a couple of beautiful pram blankets that my MIL knitted, but they are quite heavy/small. DM told me they are for making pram look pretty and not wrapping babies in? Tbh I’m really confused about what I should be putting them in for the pram. They’ll be coming in September and I don’t want them being too hot or cold.

I have already put in a request to DM for more hats and booties. My friends DM gave me the most beautiful crocheted booties yesterday. I could have wept at the cuteness.

Morrock stuff looks great @Anotherdayanotherdollar. Thank you for that. Anything that makes things easier is good in my book

Its your pram.
Its your babies.
Not hers.
Let her blow all the hot air in the world.
Let it pass right over you.
Do your own thing and what pleases you.
I had an icandy. I agree that the carry cot really don't need 'extras'
If it is the same as mine, the carrycot part are pretty small anyway.

I Think that they will get lots of pleasure from knitting stuff so don't spoil their enjoyment. They won't know if you never use them. Years ago my mil knitted something she called a pilch which was a sort of knitted dungaree with feet! It sat in a drawer for a couple of years then was recycled.
But I did giggle thinking of your twins sat on piles of blankets a la princess and the pea.

Look at the Debbie Bliss knitting patterns - absolute cuteness!

"It's not my/our style; we won't be using it/them."

"We will dress/cover our babies as we see fit. They are our children. You got to dress/cover your babies as you saw fit back in the day, so I'm sure you understand how much it means to me to do the same."

You'll need little blankets to put over them, under the cover when it's cold, but I agree that the frilly covers etc are awful!

I think I need some Debbie Bliss knitwear for myself @RandomMess. So gorgeous!

Crochet blankets are brilliant, I used to layer my DD up as she used to love a good pram snooze in the morning and on a few occasions I parked her outside in the snow . Meant I could be as noisy as I liked in the house and not feel like I as disturbing her sleep (although later I realised it would have made no difference anyway!).

Can you ask for blankets rather than covers? Much easier to use/adjust, and can be used at bedtimes or later with toys. Tell her with twins your hands will be full so you'd like something as easy to use as possible. Perhaps mention it could be used with car seat and cot as well?

I felt much more comfortable with crochet than knitted anyway, lots of nice big air holes in case DD managed to pull it over her face.

Knitted cardigans are brilliant if she's a very good knitter. I loved the one my mum made for DD and was very sad when DD grew out of it. So lovely and snug for winter. She also did a knitted playmat with a ribbon round the outside. We can play with blocks/trains/whatever with little bits, then when finished you just pull the ribbon and it becomes a bag full of toys! It's pretty simple, it's just a big octagon (made in triangles) wit her a ribbon threaded through the outside edge.

Ask her to wash them everytime they are sick/poonami/grubby hands when older, she’ll soon get fed up when it’s every 5mins!

Nod and smile, save them for ‘best’. Ain’t no time for pretty frilly Pram stuff with twins, practical all the way! What the PP said about only taking advice from other multiple parents is so true, it really is a different ball game!

Congratulations btw, twins are awesome!

I found best solution was to find some decent knitted patterns I liked for cardis in particular as these are useful, and supply those as it stops them knitting the horrendous and keeps them knitting what you will use. Any pram covers etc I received walked out the door to charity shop - am a bit ruthless!! But to be fair they were not visiting all the time

Just remembered mine had some ponchos they came in really handy especially 3 months onwards - great for in the car seat as less bulky (therefore safe) than a coat, far easier to pop on and off than a Cardy.

Apologies for the stacks of !!! typing in a hurry to get us and DTs out.

I’d say to keep the blankets, my DD loves to try unpicking it, it’s what she does when she’s laying quietly in the cot nodding off.

As for the rest, grandparents do this. This is the beginning. They just find new outlets. I’ve got a garden full of bikes, trikes and scooters my mum has picked up that are all the wrong sizes. The knitted items, I put baby in, took a photo, posted it on Mums Facebook and gave it to charity.

Just stop justifying yourself. You do not need to win this argument pr convince her; you are the parents, you get the last word on what to put int he pram. Say thank you, toss it in the back of the closet, and never use it. If she asks "are you not using it", say "no". End the conversation there.

I’ve got a baby jogger city mini as well - it’s really easy to layer the blankets, put smaller ones on them individually then just use a big blanket to cover them both up, I never had individual pushchair cosies because my eldest just continually kicked his off until it ripped. If it’s cold/hot you can modify what each one has on.

If they are desperate to knit then a modern stripy little blanket is a useful layer for pram/ car seat especially when they are a little older. This pattern pattern for example, you can choose colours that match your pram/decor/taste.

Knitted hooded baby ponchos are amazing. Brilliant for prank/car seat/sling and can fit for a few years.
Plus your babies will look like tiny pixies that will make you want to squeeze them even more

Ask the friend to make a nice big blanket suitable for the cots and play time as the fiddly things for the pram won’t be used for long and that would be such a shame.

The thing is, it's about the pram covers, but it's also about so much more.

My mum was like this when I was pregnant, and I also got the "oh but you survived!" Yes, I did survive, but lots of babies didn't due to things that we now know to avoid.

Whenever my mum pulled that line on me, I'd say;

"Years ago, there were no baby car seats, babies were put on the back seat in a Moses basket. Lots survived, but some didn't."

"Years ago, babies cribs were painted in lead paint. Lots survived, but some didn't."

"Years ago, babies were fed solids at 12 weeks. Lots survived, but some didn't."

"Years ago, people smoked around babies because we didn't know the risks of second hand smoke. They may have survived, but many had related issues."

The point is, anything that increases the risk of SIDS is to be avoided at all costs. Put your foot down, because it starts with the covers, and carries on from there.

Your mum needs to realise that you want to do what is best for baby, and that means following current guidelines.

She also needs to realise that they aren't her babies, she had her turn to raise her children, dress them how she wanted, etc. These are your babies, and you get to decide what you want for them.