To think my pram looks fine as it is?

[Lipsticktraces]

Fairly lighthearted, but this is driving me slightly bonkers.

I’m 29 weeks with twins. First grandchildren for both sides of the family. My DM is understandably very excited about it all.

We’ve bought a Icandy Peach Blossom pram and I’m very happy with it. It looks really nice

However DM is insisting that we need to “make it look prettier” with fancy pram blankets etc. I’ve tried putting one that my MIL crocheted for us over the carrycots, but I think it just looks weird. The carrycots aren’t really designed that way from what I can tell. I’ve tried explaining this to DM, but she gets shirty with me and goes on about how I need my babies to look nice She’s also just bought me two highly padded, frilly pramnests that’s she’s insisting I use. Tbh they just look like a massive SIDS risk, but I daren’t tell her!

I visited yesterday and she told me her friend is going to be knitting something for the babies. I said that’s very kind of her and asked what. DM then said she’s knitting you covers for the carrycots! I tried nicely explaining that I probably won’t use covers, that sorting two babies will be time consuming enough without faffing with unessacary covers etc. It just totally falls on deaf ears.

AIBU? Is the appearance of your pram such a massive thing? Am I just an utterly lax and careless mother to be by not wanting my pram to look like a frilly cake?

That is what I do personally, but it's up to you to decide. When I had DS I didn't know about having things between the baby and the straps so I had a sheepskin liner in there.

Divert her attentions to projects you'd like help with.

E,g, crochet some winter hats that you will actually like and need: repeatcrafterme website has tonnes of free hat patterns in funky designs for kids.

E.g. get her to buy some really lovely cotton bed sheets, something expensive and decent cotton that you could/wouldn't have bothered with otherwise. Same can be done wi5h shoes later!

For the pram stuff, it is definitely a working class north east thing, I remember seeing a couple of Silver cross monstrosities arriving at the surestart centre! Beautiful but I'll stick with my Macclaren lie flat umbrella buggy thanks!

OP my OH's family are from a 'newtown' in the NE... There has been a baby born every year for a few years and I see the items made for the new babies.

I always look at the pictures of frilly concoctions ie bonnets with several frilly layers, in amazement as I thought they were old hat even when I had DS in the 80's. I'm surprised people still go for that type of thing (and I like a bit of old fashioned smocking)

MIL made a terrible padded, pink, Lacey, nylon thing. For my DC cots. Unfortunately I had it safely tucked away and didn’t find it until they were in big beds.

It’s something they have to look at if they want to.

Too much of a sids risk for me.

DH's GM knitted a padded pram cover decorated all over with pearls for our DC1. It was filled with polyester wadding and the only time I tried to use it (for a run to the park to take a photo to prove we'd used it) it was caught by the wind and ended up in a muddy puddle. Totally useless and impractical compared to the neat and safe cocoon that came with the pram.

Am I the only one who has no idea what a pram cover is? What's the difference between that and a blanket? I just used blankets on my LO in the pram

If I see a problem with twin babies in, I'd be looking at the babies and not notice the pram.

Also, this over accessorisation (not sure if this is a word) of babies, makes them look silly, I agree with you.

Also, you're going to use whatever makes life easier for you all. That is the case with single babies, never mind twins.

Congratulations! I'm sure it comes from a good place, that she's excited.

It's this kind of monstrosity spugz.

Lace, pearls, wadding, frou frou etc.

Fuck it, I want one of those knitted poncho things!

When born DD had blanket over her after the clasp was done up in car seat. When the weather grew colder she lived in a hooded thin fleece over her clothes. We still use fleeces rather than coats as safer in car. We live rurally so have to drive everywhere.

She’ll be buying those awful baby headbands next! 😳

@CAAKE Fortunately the pram blankets I have so far from my MIL are actually very sweet. Just plain white with a few lemon love hearts on them. I thought you just put them over the baby though until DM told me they are for fancying up your pram.

@OlennasWimple I want one of those ponchos for every day of the week. So cute.

@liquidrevolution I’m definitely going to be investing in wraps. They sound a life saver.

@user Fortunately my DM hates the headbands as much as I do. She’s just very VERY traditional when it comes to baby things. To be fair to her she does admit it’s all changed since her day and she’s a bit behind with it all.

1. I want a baby poncho like that. Those are so cute!! They'd look like little Christmas elves! (Especially if it was red with a white pom-pom)

1. I've never seen personalised frilly pushchairs... interesting! Where we live things like that (quick Google search, btw) are very popular. They're rather cute and seem fairly functional to me personally. (We'll see when it's time to use one, I guess.)

I think it’s a class thing (not to generalise, but this is my experience)- I grew up very much WC / in proper poverty (breaking into the electric meter for 50ps to buy potatoes and eggs for tea) and there’s this bizarre need to buy everything new, and everything has to be “fancy”. In my family, Breastfeeding is anathema, and dummies are as necessary as nappies.

When I rented a side sleeper crib, bought a sling and a very “minimalist” (cheap!) city pram, breastfed, refused to use a dummy (we were lucky he had no need for one), coslept and BLW - all of these were dismissed as “posh way(s) of doing things” id picked up in London. And my family were in no way scanty on the scorn. It was a really bloody hard time—and then once DP and I separated, and I needed help— lots of my “posh” ideas became real bones of contention.

DS is 2 now, and my DSis is pregnant- doing things much more “approved” of- although she’s got a side sleeper and is going to try BFing too - but it’s interesting to see how she’s navigating the very strong opinions, much, much better than I did.

Oh forgot my point!

The point was- stuff like those blankets were especially “triggering” for my DM and DAunt - as they felt not using them showed not only ingratitude, but also a lack of care for the baby. Things like “sids” “fire risk” and “overheating” were considered nonsense.

So in the end, I took pictures of baby with them on/ over him, sent them to them with hearty thanks, and then swiftly sent them to oxfam

Yes seems very strange to have a blanket to make the pram pretty - though I would defo use one over the baby :) And I had a cosytoes last time which I thought was brilliant for winter.

I think also that in the past most prams looked quite plain and all the same so maybe prettying it up was more important, whereas today the style of the pram is a huge part of the marketing and design in the first place meaning you don't need extra products to achieve this.

Whilst I love a traditional pram I don't understand the added fripperies!

Perhaps some knitted blankets in wool made from 100% cotton would be nice. They wash really well and feel soft. Not as covers for a pram just to use if needed to keep the babies warm.

When I had DS1 my Grandma (then 85) told me in her day they went all out to fancy up there proms with frilly blankets and lace and fripperies. She said this ruefully looking at baby DS tucked into a plain black pram muff wearing a plain blue babygro and a plain white hat. Totally generational. Accept the blankets with thanks and then never use them.

DD was about 6 months before I realised I could put her coat on BACKWARDS after I had done up the car seat straps. That was a revelation.

I was reminded of this thread at 6 this morning by my Mother.

Our newborn daughter often naps on a large pillow on the sofa next to me during the day, so naturally she is on the pillow for most of the pictures I take of her.

So my Mom replied to the last pictures I sent to her with "Put a prettier pillowcase on her pillow for pictures..."

I checked my list of priorities and unfortunately for my Mom "buy a prettier pillowcase" didn't make the cut.

When my DD was born, My MIL got a beautiful Silvercross Vogue pram in Sugared Almond for when she looks after the baby.. Then she went and put this frilly abomination over it. She keeps raving about it saying how lovely it is. I don't get it myself but just smile and nod politely.

p.s. these are not my pics, I've just googled them and found similar to the same things.

Use the blankets/covers for the car seat? DD hated all kind of snowsuits and we just had her in warm clothes and then added layers on top of her. You shouldn't let babies wear padded clothing in car seats anyway.

Most of DD's baby blankets were good when she was older for a nap in the cot when she wasn't undressed fully.

We asked for a blanket as a gift actually and my mum wouldn't buy one as "we used duvets on them/pram pillows and you don't do this anymore, I have no idea what to buy" but gave us the money to get one. I think your MIL may be a similar generation and is not used to the way babies are dressed/covered nowadays.

And yes to keeping them for play, DD is using lots of crib sheets for her teddies and she slept with a baby blanket for a long time as she just loved the feel of it.

The absolute best present I had for my winter baby was a pure wool (lovely soft wool) blanket that some one knitted. You don’t run the risk of them overheating (well maybe if you used it in this weather!!) and it can be used everywhere the baby sleeps. I even swaddled mine in it. And you can tuck it around a sling!! Maybe ask for something like this, and a sheepskin liner for the buggy?

Quietly loosing things sounds like very much the best way..... I have been given so much for our children and the majority of it is not touched. The message of a gift is in the giving - hope all goes well for you

I have twins. Trust me. What the pram looks like is soon to be the least of your problems. 😂