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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change their name!

319 replies

Chesternut · 12/07/2018 22:45

My DD is 4 years old and I gave her a name which, I thought, was very original as I hadn't heard another girl called it in about 20 years. Only to find when she started nursery another girl called the same but spelt differently. DD is due to start full time education in September and there will be 2 other girls with the same name so 3 in the class including DD. Now there's another in other DC's class.
Totally hacked off and really upset by this. Maybe an over reaction but in the 1970's I was one of 5 named the same in my class and vowed never to have my DC's live with the same. Now history is being repeated.
AIBU to change my DD's name before September? I love her name but HATE it's so common now.

OP posts:
LadyLoveYourWhat · 12/07/2018 22:47

I don't think it's up to you, surely it's up to your daughter, it's her name now, not yours! She might not care that she shares her name in the same way that you did.

strawberrypenguin · 12/07/2018 22:48

Are you crazy! She's 4! You can't change her name. Your DD won't mind being one of 3. She is her name now, it belongs to her.

Bobbiepin · 12/07/2018 22:49

You know its against the rules to post a thread like this without the name.

(Also changing at 4 is a massive pain and your DD will have to put up with the extra paperwork and faff it brings for the rest of her life, whereas school is temporary).

tiredteddy123 · 12/07/2018 22:49

I am so sorry but yes YABU she is 4 years not 4 months and will be so very confused if you change her name now!!

You ANBU to be upset though, I thought my DDs both had reasonably uncommon names. Now they are in school I know there are other older children with same/similar names.

Tough one but stick it out, you picked her name because you loved it, just remember that x

OwlinaTree · 12/07/2018 22:49

What is the name? What would you change it to?

Chocolatecake12 · 12/07/2018 22:51

What’s the name?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/07/2018 22:52

I bet it's Rose

spudlet7 · 12/07/2018 22:52

No, please don't do this Shock

Halfblindbunny · 12/07/2018 22:54

She is 4 its her name, who cares that other kids have it as well. What will you do when she loses touch with these other kids? Change it back?

Original poster
Chesternut · 12/07/2018 22:54

DD's name is Esmée and I've lived through this. I can remember my whole junior/secondary school time being coloured by the fact that so many of us had the same name. I changed it as soon as I could because of that reason. Every time I hear my real name I shudder.

OP posts:
AmazingPostVoices · 12/07/2018 22:55

Don’t be ridiculous you can’t change a four year old’s name!

How on earth would you explain that to her?

What happens if you change it and then next year there’s a new girl with the same name? Or several girls with the same name in high school?

sexnotgender · 12/07/2018 22:55

No you can't change her name she's 4!

What's her name?

Bobbiepin · 12/07/2018 22:55

@sparepantsandtoothbrush how else would you spell Rose? I was thinking Lily.

Original poster
Chesternut · 12/07/2018 22:55

And yes my father is French.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 12/07/2018 22:56

Oops cross post. Not lily. Keep it, very pretty.

Deshasafraisy · 12/07/2018 22:56

Twilight. Bet all the esme’s are inspired by the twilight films

steff13 · 12/07/2018 22:57

Fair enough if you were bothered by having the same name as others in your class, but I don't think most people would be so bothered that they'd actually change their names. In my class, every other girls was called Jennifer. As far as I know, they all still are.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/07/2018 22:58

Ridiculous. Don’t give your daughter a complex about this.

sleepytiger · 12/07/2018 22:59

Yep I was going to say twilight too!

Toyah66 · 12/07/2018 22:59

Names come and go in popularity, if you change it now you can't guarantee that she won't be at school with other girls of the same name later in life, or that she won't work with women with the same name when she's older etc... My name wasn't very "popular" - I was the only one in my whole primary school and there were only 3 of us in the whole secondary school and actually, now my name is quite common in people of my age so you can't bank on any name not being unusual/common!

At the end of the day, you love the name and your daughter is happy with her name, there really isn't anything to be worried about! The school and your DD's friends will find a way to distinguish her from the other "Beryls" Grin

Sittingonaspindryer · 12/07/2018 22:59

Want to know the name!!

YABU. My DS was the only child I knew with his name. He started school and was one of four in a class of nine with the same name. There was only one boy with a different name! Luckily we had always used a nickname for DS which just got used full time at school and the others all got called their full name and surname.

fannyanddick · 12/07/2018 23:00

I have never ever met an esmee and I have two young children. It's just bad luck. It's very unlikely her next school will have lots.

Attic14 · 12/07/2018 23:00

Did you do any research on names before? Esmée ? It’s more popular than you think and far from original

Original poster
Chesternut · 12/07/2018 23:00

Deshasafraisy - Yes didn't know about the Twilight films as never watched them but the first thing anyone asks is is it because of the film. The answer is no it bloody isn't!!!

OP posts:
Attic14 · 12/07/2018 23:01

And no... I wouldn’t change. I’m sure Esmée knows her name now and I guess it’s really not yours to change at this point

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