To change their name!

[Chesternut]

My DD is 4 years old and I gave her a name which, I thought, was very original as I hadn't heard another girl called it in about 20 years. Only to find when she started nursery another girl called the same but spelt differently. DD is due to start full time education in September and there will be 2 other girls with the same name so 3 in the class including DD. Now there's another in other DC's class.
Totally hacked off and really upset by this. Maybe an over reaction but in the 1970's I was one of 5 named the same in my class and vowed never to have my DC's live with the same. Now history is being repeated.
AIBU to change my DD's name before September? I love her name but HATE it's so common now.

In England Esmé is also pronounced Esmé.
But Esme is common too so people will get them mixed up.
Surely you realised that?

But if you stop making a big thing of it and pushing your issue into her, she’ll just weather the occasional mispronunciation with an “I’m an Ex-may actually”.

You really need to relax over this!

My name is very popular and it's honestly never bothered me.

I don't need my DD's name to be original but I know I hated with a passion having the same name as 4 others. I know they felt the same way.

And just to really freak you out, the Esmé and Esme in my child’s class are often each sometimes known as Ez, Ezzie, Ezzy-May and Wheels.

I suggest a paper bag for breathing into on the school pick up

She does have a nickname but it's not one for polite company.

Is this a weird joke? You are seriously considering changing your DD aged 4 name because there are a couple of DC in school with the same name? Its even more laughable on this thread that someone suggested using their middle name. I think your family and your DD may have an issue with that..... these things happen get over it. My DD name wasnt popular but entered school with three other DD with the same name. Never did it cross my mind to change her name...the one she has known since birth, what her family and friends know her as and she herself.

Move. Rural Wales perhaps.

I was one of three Mary's (not the actual name) in class when I was in primary. I wasn't awful but I remember we were a bit of a clique because of our names, even though we didn't really get on together. I don't think it was positive for me, though also not a disaster. So I do understand where you're coming from.

I don't think you should change her name officially - it's a pain having to deal with the paperwork for that for the rest of your life and who knows what her classmates or colleagues or friends are going to be called in years to come. But I might see if I could get her to buy into creating and/or using a nickname instead of Esmee. Every school I've had dealings with has asked what the child prefers to be called and doesn't just go with the official name. But if she doesn't buy into it now, I wouldn't get stressed. This is something she can introduce later if she wants to. Wouldn't be quite as smooth but still doable.

My name was v popular in the 70s - there were 3 of us with the same name in my class at junior school, two of us on the same corridor in Halls at university - it has never bothered me.

Kind of know how you feel. We chose eldest's name, Chloé, as it means the kind of green you see in spring in ancient Greek. She is our 'rainbow baby', born after a neonatal death. I had never met a Chloé, thought it was a really original and apt name. Turns out, 20-something years ago, so did everybody else! There are so many Chloés and Chloe-with-and-without-umlauts around her age that it's totally common. I've even seen Guardian comments referring sneeringly to "the Ruperts and Chloes interning at the Guardian". So yeah. To add insult to injury, in my youngest's class, there were 4 other mums who had the same name as me!

Some names just become popular at particular times in particular subcultures. I feel your pain, but no. Don't even consider changing your child's name. It's beautiful, it's hers, sod the rest of them.

She could become an Esmerelda; then you needn't change what anyone calls her but she has the option to do so should commonality in fact upset her 🤔

Wow, that’s so unlucky to have so many in the class. I know hundreds of young children and haven’t yet met an Esmee. Though I do know an Ismay.
When I was at school we had two Katie’s in the class so one of them decided to change to her middle name which was Elizabeth. Interestingly, after about 10 years as Elizabeth she changed back to Katie again. I really don’t think you should just change the name of a 4 year old - not unless it’s making HER really unhappy (not you).
Once she leaves primary school, chances are she’ll hardly meet another Esme.

My son has an Esme in his class, now he mostly has Oliver and Alfie’s. When I was at school
I had 4 Michaels in my tutor alone, about 8 in the year all together, about 4 James, 5 chris.... I guess it depends what’s popular.
My DS has a very unusual name and I did shout loads of research before he was born and pretty sure there isn’t any others in the uk. There is in USA. My daughter has bit more of a known name but it’s not very common over here 😊

I think it’s too late to change her name now, my daughter has 2 Poppy’s, 2 Lola’s, 2 darceys and 2 Olivia’s. in her class they usually just say thier surnames to who there referring to,

Also, I sympathise; there were loads of my name too and I was the largest, so everyone called me 'Big Dljlr' all the way through secondary school

I feel your pain. 12 years ago I named my daughter Charlotte when it was less popular and there was another in her class and it caused loads of grief so I vowed this time around I would choose something never heard of and i thought, original.
Soooo...My 4 month old is called Esme :) I've always loved the name since I heard it on a Scottish tv series called Hamish Macbeth. Guess what....a girl has just moved across the road from us with a 7 month old baby called....Esme!!! Spelled Esmay tho (which i dislike personally) so now I'm silently hoping she moves before school starts in 5 years lol

I have asked DD if she'd like to change her name but she stated no my name is "nickname" and it's a name her DB came up with and not one for polite company (not a swear thought thank goodness)

I've got 3 DC 5 and under so know the names of a lot of young children and haven't met a single esmée.
Met a few Elsie's but that's the closest to it I've heard, its probably just coincidence where you are there's likely plenty of other schools without any like my DDs.

I really don’t think you should change her name now. At 4 she is a person in her own right and I think it would be really confusing to her to have a name change now.
I didn’t like my name because nobody had the same name.
I was 44 when I met another person with the same name as me.

Esmee isnt that unusual to honestly believe that you would never come across another one besides your DD.
You cant strip away her name.
I mean what's your plan, to change her name every time across another child with the samename.
No matter how unusual you think a name is. You're taking a chance that there may very wellbe more than one in each class.

In my secondary class over half the girls had these are 1st name (actually only 1) or had that name as a second name (14). Whoever decided the forms must have seen it as a joke.

Make it very clear how her name is pronounced. That will differ from the others.

Chicken, was the name Louise?

My friend was one of many at school and went by first name and surname. I thought it would bother her, as I liked that my name was more unusual, but it never did. She has always loved her name. Hopefully, sharing her name won't bother your daughter in the same way it bothered you. Besides, I'm sure she will appreciate that you chose the name with love. I am not a particular fan of my own name but I can see why my mum chose it and appreciate that. At 4, it seems a bit extreme to change her name and like it would be a lot of phaff. How does she feel about her name?

I think it's more worrying that you've allowed her to adopt a name which isn't polite! Surely it would be better to have her nickname be a name you can use everywhere?

I would not change it because she's too old for a name change, the name is lovely and I don't personally know anyone, and crucially, even if you change it, you can't stop the new name from suddenly becoming popular which is what happened to my name. In my generation it was very unusual and people remarked on how unusual it was- the next generation it became a top 10 then top 5 and now where I work I know 4 people with the name who I work alongside and we have to use initials to distinguish ourselves! My mum really couldn't have expected that.

You just need to stick with what is a lovely name- and get your DB to phase out some horrible non-polite nickname (the mind boggles) for starters.

I had the opposite problem my name is Scottish and fairly rare down South where I grew up so no one can spell or pronounce my name properly so gave my daughter a more common name ironically she is the only one in her class with her name