To change their name!

[Chesternut]

My DD is 4 years old and I gave her a name which, I thought, was very original as I hadn't heard another girl called it in about 20 years. Only to find when she started nursery another girl called the same but spelt differently. DD is due to start full time education in September and there will be 2 other girls with the same name so 3 in the class including DD. Now there's another in other DC's class.
Totally hacked off and really upset by this. Maybe an over reaction but in the 1970's I was one of 5 named the same in my class and vowed never to have my DC's live with the same. Now history is being repeated.
AIBU to change my DD's name before September? I love her name but HATE it's so common now.

Jesus wept OP! You give a kid a name and you stick with it. That’s why you have to think seriously before naming. You can’t just bloody well go round changing her name willy nilly because you’re slightly put out. Ffs grow up.

I worked with someone years ago. When he was three his mother stopped calling him by his first name and started using his middle name. He remembers being terribly confused by this and year’s later still had a residual anger over it. As an adult he rebelled and began using his first name again.

He found the change especially hard as his mother’s reasons were all down to snobbery (not multiples of the same name) and he felt it was his fault somehow.

OP, please let your daughter keep her name.

You’re own anxiety about having the same name as others in your class is making you irrational. Stop it! If you need help to do this see a counsellor. Your daughters name was given to her by you with love. It’s hers now, not yours. If SHE wants to change it at some stage then that’s her right, but you have no place dictating what she is or isn’t called.

P.s my name was incredibly common during the 70s and there were 3 others in my class with the same name. I survived !!!

If your daughter is amenable you can choose a preferred name and tell the school this is what she prefers to be called. I personally don’t want my child called the same as loads of others and they’ll end up being Milly 1,2 & 3 or Milly S for Smith etc.

Someone may have said this but can you call her something slightly different for school like ezzie. Looks funny written down but I know an esme shortened to ezzie and it’s cute.

Stupid idea! YABVFU.

But funnily enough I was born in the early 70s with the name Deborah/Debbie - as common as you get - yet, in all my years of school I never had anyone with the same name in my class, and maybe 3 in the whole school. Don’t like my name and was disappointed so few people had it growing up

Should add - but only if she likes the idea. Could use Ez or even may. Depending on whether you pronounce it ezme essmay or essmee I suppose. Lots of kids in my daughters class now have nicknames for each other. Some derived from surnames and totally original. Some from partially backwards spelling of first name. All sorts.

You can’t change it! It’s only for a few years and there will many more kids at secondary and beyond.

Funnily enough, when my DD started reception, 5 of us mums with kids in her class had the same name! Obviously a 70’s classic.

She will get called both Esmee and Esmay, best thing to do is not make a big issue of it so it doesn't wind her up. The Esme I know gets called both but it doesn't bother her, if it did she would be constantly correcting or seething!

Just because you hated having others with the same name as you, doesn't mean your daughter will. I'm another one that has one of those names that every girl had in the 70s. And yes 4 in my class at one point. I thought it was great at the time. The only reason it bothers me a little now is that it is a name of its time. Like so many names of the 70s it is seriously out of fashion now.

My DD17 talks about changing her name by deed poll due to the fact that she is only ever known by an abbreviation of her name and dislikes the fact that at doctor's appointments etc she has to go by her full name. But she is old enough to choose for herself now. If your DD wants to do the same when she is older, that's up to her.

my mother changed my name when I was four. It took me about six years to get completely used to it (my dad insisted on calling me by my old name and I had to correct him). Actually maybe 15 years not to feel a dissonance when someone called my name. It didn't feel like me. But then, the old one didn't feel like me either. In the end, I adapted.

I tried to persuade me 11 year old to change her name recently, but she looked at me as if I was nuts and refused. Fair dos.

don't change her name. unless it means f@@@ or the dogs b@@@@ in Urdu or Spanish, it's fine.

Oh yes. My brothers friend and my nephew's friend both elected to change their name in their teens. My brother's friend then changed back after ten years. That really arsed me off as it had taken me a decade to get used to the new name. The thing is, it's quite hard to switch. Harder than you think. If your child wants to change let her. Otherwise keep it.

Have not read all replies as now on 12 pages but you could change it to Ismay or spell it another way Ismae bet there are not any Ismays in her class

Also meant to say my 2 older girls are the only one with their names but my 3rd daughter has 3 in her y7 school and she is not bothered in the slightest in fact her best friend on primary shared her first name. I know of a few girls named Esme so quite common where I live.

This is crazy! I have a very popular name for the time I was born and it never had a major impact on me. as hard as it it can be, try not to make your personal experience have an impact on your DC - Esmee is not a popular name that I know of so she will not come across many others but I doubt she will care?! I never did! It’s quite extreme to consider changing her name at 4

She might not care that she shares her name in the same way that you did.

I suspect we have the same name OP. It never, ever bothered me and it's a nice name which is why it was so popular at the time. I was once 1 of 4 in a chemistry class

I have skimmed through so not sure if anyone has said it already but it’s not pronunced ezmay in French, it’s a é not a è, not sure about the z either (it’s more likely to be a «ss» sound as it is followed by a consonant, although I can imagine hey might local variations).
forvo.com/word/esmée/

Otherwise, I think it’s too late to change her name.

My son was named after his great grandfather apparently a lot of people had the same idea that year

My daughter went to school with a loads of gemmas and Chloes they made there own names up to distinguish each other such as coco and gemgee etc don't spoil the fun of growing up

My name is Sophie, and when I was born in '84 it wasn't a common name, if you can believe it. Fast forward several years and I'm one of nine Sophies at sixth form college - and it's a VERY common name! My mum is a bit apologetic that it's everywhere, but she wasn't to know - and who cares?!
I think it's very dramatic to change a child's name at four years old - she'll feel very confused and it's a bit cruel. Were you really assuming she'd never encounter someone else with the same name?
If never encountering another person with my child's name was a real priority for me, I'd make a name up at her birth.

How the fuck has this made the Daily Fail?! Apparently being a journalist consists of trawling through Mumsnet for stories... who needs a degree these days? 🙄🙄

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5960937/Parenting-expert-Sharon-Witt-slams-mother-wanting-change-four-year-old-daughters-name.html

At least they seem to have edited this, yesterday it was on facebook stating tha the OP was Australian.

Your Esmee name change story was on the morning news program this morning in Australia.
You are famous 😂
Consensus was to not change!

Oops just saw last post. 😳

My 4yo ds has a name that is unusual but there's still going to be another one in his year at school. To be fair it's a biblical name and a church school so would be more likely to crop up.

Doesn't really bother me. There are two girls in his class with the same name that I would have thought incredibly unusual! In that I'd never ever heard if it.

Esmee is lovely tho ugh. I must admot my thought was Pratchett but I adore Granny Weatherwax (and a baby is named after her in the books - a Princess no less!)