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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to photocopy school tickets that say strictly admit 2

183 replies

tigerroundfortea · 11/07/2018 22:32

School have made it VERY clear to us that only 2 parents with valid tickets can attend the end of year play. I'm going, my ex (dad) is going, he's single so just him, but my partner is so actively involved in our sons life he is such a loving stepdad and really wants to be there too.
The tickets are just on coloured paper. I'm tempted to get some and photocopy an extra 1. AIBU or? Fair play if I am but if I can get away with it it would be lovely for ds.
Probably being a bit pfb 😢

OP posts:
NameChangeUni · 13/07/2018 13:30

Lol op😂 the information about your wheelchair completely changes your original post - you made it sound like your partner just wants to watch the play. It’s completely different if he’s a carer for you. Can you not comprehend that? There’s no need to be annoyed with the replies as the replies weren’t based on your true situation, but how you made it seem in your OP.

I think you should just phone the school and explain. I’m sure they could make adjustments for a wheelchair user.

Noqont · 13/07/2018 16:25

Mookie81 I've never asked him for CS, and we get on ok...I'm just a bitch

Sounds like you really are Hmm Poor kids.

Bekstar · 13/07/2018 17:44

As a wheelchair user myself I do see where you are coming from regarding the disability card and asking on that basis. But I do think there is no problem asking for an extra ticket based on the fact you are a split family. We have a little boy at DS school who brings six parents. Yeah six his mum n dad both spilt up and remarried all four of those come but he also has a temporary Foster family who he goes to for respite. Our school always let them have 6 tickets when it's a 2 ticket event. They make adjustments so all parents can see the kids doing stuff like that. So I would say go ask and point out that your a slip family and would all like the chance to see it

Obi73 · 13/07/2018 17:50

There’s a reason why you’ve been permitted only two tickets. Schools don’t just make stuff up to upset parents - safeguarding, health & safety etc. Don’t even think about it you’ll embarrass yourself and the staff on the door.

FaveNumberIs2 · 13/07/2018 17:54

YES. VERY UNREASONABLE!!
There is a REASON why each child can only have tickets to admit two.

As you have a blended family, GO AND SPEAK TO THE SCHOOL! Explain your circumstances and ask for a third ticket for child’s father.

It’s that simple, no need for dishonesty.

And they will also have a log of who’s got tickets and will probably check off the attendees. Major embarrassment when one of you ate refused entry on the night!

neveradullmoment99 · 13/07/2018 18:01

If you cant get a ticket, would the school allow you to use your phone to take a video clip of the important bits? That's what I have done or my dh has done if I cant make it.

neveradullmoment99 · 13/07/2018 18:02

I work in a school and yes it is unreasonable to do it. Its fire regulations.

Lalliella · 13/07/2018 18:04

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVU. And if you have half a brain cell you must realise this surely. What if everyone did that? Why are you special? Go and talk to the school and if they say no leave it at that.

CammieKennaway · 13/07/2018 18:06

Contact the school office and explain the situation - they may have spare tickets available.
Defintely don't photocopy one. If each ticket admits two people though, can't you or your ex buy another one? (sorry if this has already been answered or if I've read it wrong)

VickyEadie · 13/07/2018 18:07

You really shouldn't and I think you know that by now.

Honestlyhelpful · 13/07/2018 18:08

YABU

Trumpodious · 13/07/2018 18:11

So which is it? A carer's ticket which it is entirely reasonable to ask for, or an extra step parent ticket which is also entirely reasonable to ask for. Unreasonable is forging a ticket.

Fairenuff · 13/07/2018 18:13

Your carer can still attend. They don't have to go into the actual performance, they can wait outside for you and assist you to the toilet, etc. if you need help. If your partner is the loving step dad that you say he is then I'm sure he would do this for you.

SingingOutOfTune · 13/07/2018 18:14

Explain the situation to the school. They should be able to give you an extra ticket. Do they perform more than once? If yes you could watch it in a time when is not so crowded. My son play performed 4 times.

BlueTears · 13/07/2018 18:17

Shock YABU

It's NOT your partners kid. He doesn't get to go if seats are restricted to two.

Don't be a twat!

sockunicorn · 13/07/2018 18:24

our school does 2 tickets per performance and our tickets sound the same as yours. Each ticket has a biro-d number in the corner. I always assumed you could do as you say. Never had but (and I say this as a former member of the PTA), you always get one or two people not showing up due to sickness/childcare, so there are always a few empty seats on show nights.

So I wouldnt have thought it a problem...until someone did it at the Y6 christmas show. Caused a massive hoo-ha. The head wrote a big notification on the newsletter about it being done and it being "fraud". How you were risking other peoples enjoyment and stealing someones seat. Nobody was named but we all knew who had done it because the head waited at the classroom door and called them in at hometime plus had already hauled the child in earlier and asked who had come to see them in the play. There was also talk of people submitting their videos of the school play for the school to work out which families the extra people belonged to as apparently it was more than one. But that came to nothing. It was beyond ridiculous and would have been mortifying for the child (and parent!).

sockunicorn · 13/07/2018 18:26

...just to add, it was only noticed because the biro-d numbers were duplicates and someone had gone through checking who had shown up Confused.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 13/07/2018 18:36

We had sufficient tickets for our child's show but I knew it would be difficult for my mother who is in a wheelchair to get into the hall on the night. I rang the school and asked if there was any way we could arrange it and they suggested we could attend the dress rehearsal instead.

On another occasion when we had used our four tickets I put my name down for a spare which I was lucky enough to get. I had already seen one of the previous performances so I deliberately arrived late and sat at the back because I wanted to be there for the atmosphere/speeches..

labazs · 13/07/2018 18:41

i guess it is limited due to space if you photocopy you are cheating other parents

hertsandessex · 13/07/2018 18:45

I've seen before where people haven't photocopied tickets but just turned up with one or two extras in tow and then begged at the door if they could just sneak in and maybe stand at the back. Usually it works and then the extra person ends up sitting down of course taking somebody else's seat. One person did the same thing regularly and always seemed to get away it. However, lots of us noticed and it didn't do her relations with everybody else any good at all. As others have said imagine if we all bent the rules like this.

Inertia · 13/07/2018 18:53

As others have said, it would be totally unreasonable to photocopy the ticket. It could breach fire regulations to have too many people there, or stop someone else getting in- there's also a very strong chance that school will have a list of ticket numbers matching each child.
Since you are a wheelchair user and may need the assistance of a carer, the school will probably do all they can to accommodate your needs. It wouldn't be 'using' your disability, which you seem to fear- schools are supposed to be inclusive places, so it would be entirely reasonable for them to make allowances to give you the same access opportunities as other parents. You don't need to go into detail, just tell them that you as a wheelchair user need personal care from your carer- I'm sure they'll be understanding.

pilates · 13/07/2018 18:56

YABVU
Just explain the situation to the teacher/school office and ask if it would be ok. Can you imagine if everyone brought in an extra person.

GabsAlot · 13/07/2018 19:52

erm i think they need to know op youre not playing the disability card it will be easier if they can make arrangements for you

3out · 13/07/2018 20:04

It’s a shame school halls are so tiny. Our school has a very strict two ticket rule. They’d be sympathetic regarding mobility issues (would prob let you reserve a seat in front row), but still wouldn’t have broken the 2 ticket rule. We thought we’d scored when there was a Christmas concert for p1 and p2, because we had a child in each year - woohoo, the grandparents could come! Nope. Turns out it’s 2 tickets per family, not per child (that goes for twins etc too). But, at least it wasn’t like the nursery Christmas party, which only allows 1 ticket per family because the premises are so small (really lovely nursery though!)

Sunshineface123 · 13/07/2018 20:41

So I guess the choice is really you and your partner/carer go or your ex goes by himself or with his partner if he has one.

As I still don't think you'll get 3 tickets. You might just have to take it in turns to attend events.

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