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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to photocopy school tickets that say strictly admit 2

183 replies

tigerroundfortea · 11/07/2018 22:32

School have made it VERY clear to us that only 2 parents with valid tickets can attend the end of year play. I'm going, my ex (dad) is going, he's single so just him, but my partner is so actively involved in our sons life he is such a loving stepdad and really wants to be there too.
The tickets are just on coloured paper. I'm tempted to get some and photocopy an extra 1. AIBU or? Fair play if I am but if I can get away with it it would be lovely for ds.
Probably being a bit pfb 😢

OP posts:
GahWhatever · 12/07/2018 08:12

YWBU to copy.
Ask around for a spare, ask the office for a spare. If none available then decide between the 2 of you (DP and you) which if you will miss it this time. If you wouldn't be happy to give up your allocated space for your DP then it's unreasonable to potentially force another parent to do the same.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 12/07/2018 08:26

I’ve given my spare to another family this year, so sharing does happen.

Just don’t do the dick thing and copy, it’s a knobbish thing to do.

Cuttingthegrass · 12/07/2018 08:31

What hope is there for this child when the adult thinks rules are meant to be broken, or just not apply to then, that they're more important than any other family (who also may have wanted more than 2 tickets). This demonstrates a massive selfishness.

Fluffyears · 12/07/2018 08:38

If you do this I hope you get caught. Another parent might have to miss out because of you, you are a dick if you do that!

Snowysky20009 · 12/07/2018 11:37

Don't be a twat.

dellie84 · 12/07/2018 11:48

YOU ARE BEING SO UNREASONABLE!
What if someone with a ticket couldn't see their child becuase you felt the need of your partner was greater than theirs!
I can't believe you would ask! Shame on you.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 12/07/2018 11:59

Yabu

I get the emotion Exdh is far less involved in school and day to day life than DP but has reasonable right to things like this and DP can't go....but that's my problem not the schools and if I spotted you doing it then would entirely call you out on it

Plus be aware ...i don't have much of a relationship with the school mum's but I guarantee you they know which one my Exdh is and which one my DP is (partly because my DP has a sodding baby face and looks like he's about 21 and makes me look like a sodding cougar...git )

If they saw all three of us and suspected foul play....theyd lynch me on the monkey bars

Fadingmemory · 12/07/2018 12:00

The important things are for the child to feel supported and know that someone is there to see him/her in the play and for the school to show part of its achievement in putting on the play. It is not about how the parent/parent's partner/carer feels . If Your DP being in would in all likelihood mean someone else who had a right to be there being excluded. You would be VU to do this. Your DP would be disappointed but he would just need to cope with that and keep quiet about it - it's not about him. His "contribution" could be to talk to your DS afterwards so that the boy could tell him all about it, to tell him how well he had done, admire his costume if there was one, hear him say his lines etc. And absolutely no guilt tripping about it from anyone.

duckfuckduck · 12/07/2018 12:01

Yabvvvu. And unfair to others. Why would you do this? Just ask the office if there are any extras. Ffs.

SugarIsAmazing · 12/07/2018 12:08

This is why I don't tell my ex when school events are, so I can take my partner Grin

comedycentral · 12/07/2018 12:12

We get mums dad's and two sets of grandparents turning up and hogging all the seats at every performance. I wish our school did a ticket system as there are usually hoardes of is stood at the back straining to see and hear.

Mookie81 · 12/07/2018 12:12

@SugarIsAmazing unless your ex has done something to deserve it that's a shitty thing to do.
Of course if he doesn't pay CS or support your kids then fair play Wink

specialsubject · 12/07/2018 12:21

wouldn't it be easier to ask? You know, like the grown ups do?

SugarIsAmazing · 12/07/2018 14:08

@Mookie81 I've never asked him for CS, and we get on ok...I'm just a bitch.

Quartz2208 · 12/07/2018 14:23

SugarIsAmazing I kind of hope you are joking as that is really not ok (and surely your DC tell him)

Original poster
tigerroundfortea · 13/07/2018 00:02

Shocked at some of the responses on here. I'm not being respectful to other parents yet I've been called a dickhead and a twat and apparently now I'm going to talk the dad out of going 👀
Partly tounge in cheek anyway as I know full well that it wouldn't be an ok thing to do or I'd have done it. I'm a wheelchair user and I don't really want to have to attend a school play alone with my ex (who was horrible to me) incase I have to ask him for help for any reason. I'm also not comfortable looking like I'm playing the disability card asking for extra tickets to everything. So no I clearly don't want to bring my son up to lie and I don't think I'm special in any way either. Not everybody makes "dickhead moves because they think they can break the rules" but some people's situations are very difficult. Play is next week and dad is vile to me but I would never stop him going to see a school play, I just don't want to have to ask him to help me go to the toilet if I need to. And I don't really want the staff knowing these details either. So thanks for all the rude replies. I'll go back to being a man hating knob'Ed now

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/07/2018 00:52

Not drip feeding at all there, then OP...

TyneTeas · 13/07/2018 00:59

You may have had a different response had the question been AIBU to ask for an additional ticket to the standard allocation for reasons of accessibility so I can attend with a carer who isn't my XP.

BackforGood · 13/07/2018 01:04

Agree with NannyOgg and TyneTeas.

Hmm
MidniteScribbler · 13/07/2018 01:12

Oh FFS, what a bloody drip feed. Why do people do this?

Haudyerwheesht · 13/07/2018 02:00

So your partner is your carer? So your Aibu is actually Aibu to ask if I can have an extra allocation for a carer’s ticket? Totally different scenario. Confused when people drip feed like this it always seems like you are either making it up or else you want to be offended by people’s replies

Original poster
tigerroundfortea · 13/07/2018 02:14

@Haudyerwheesht I am offended by people's replies. I can see I did make it look a bit more like it was "just because" and why people would be angry but I don't need to scream I'm disabled everywhere I go for everything I need it doesn't define me and as others have said I don't think I'm special enough that I need it more than other people but I wouldn't have thought a school would even entertain a carers ticket as they so clearly stated 2 tickets and my ex partner wouldn't be approachable for any assistance. It makes me feel selfish.
Some of the comments are ott Hmm tiger selfish move would suffice. I don't give a rats arse wether you believe me or not but if you don't you can come along and help if you like 🙈

OP posts:
Haudyerwheesht · 13/07/2018 02:15

But if you need someone to help you then you DO need it more than everyone else? That’s a perfectly legitimate reason to ask for an extra ticket.

BlueBug45 · 13/07/2018 02:39

OP if you have a disability and a carer, and you need the carer there then you aren't unreasonable asking for an extra ticket.

And yes, unfortunately, you need to let the teaching staff know you have a disability which means you are a wheelchair user and need your carer present.

NotAgainYoda · 13/07/2018 04:19

Oh for goodness sake. People aren't mind readers. If you give context, people will respond accordingly

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