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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say she can’t become a vegan yet

362 replies

funnyfairy360 · 10/07/2018 19:49

So my 10yr old DD has announced that she does not believe it is Ok to use animal products any more and from now on will not be eating/wearing/using anything made from animals or produced by animals. She does not even want to be ‘forced’ to sit on our leather couch. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for her finding her own way in life but this is not just becoming vegetarian or going goth, becoming vegan is life changing and to be honest too inconvenient and expensive for me to make happen for her right now. She said she has the right to choose I say yes when she can pay for the products and cook the food herself .....she wants vegan friendly washing up liquid/shampoo/ soap/ clothes/this list could go on and on. None of the rest of us have any desire to go vegan.

OP posts:
GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:07

Unless she only wants to be a "vegan" when it's convenient for her?

Pathetic. We should all be cutting down on actions that damage the planet. Changing our diets is a start, if more people do it then perhaps we will move away from other damaging activities and use more sustainable and ethical products and resources. This is a starting point not the solution.

Bluelady · 11/07/2018 15:07

So being 10 means you can't think about issues or have a conscience?

DiegoMadonna · 11/07/2018 15:08

Unless she only wants to be a "vegan" when it's convenient for her?

Or unless she wants be a "vegan" whenever practical and possible, based on the notion that making some difference is better than making no difference.

MaterialReality · 11/07/2018 15:08

I went vegetarian at 12. My parents thought it was a fad. 20 years later and I still haven't eaten meat. I think it's completely wrong to tell a child that they have to eat something that they're ethically opposed to.

The whole family shouldn't have to eat vegan or use vegan products but if she wants to then let her. If she's willing to use her own money to pay for vegan soap/shampoo then let her. If she wants to put a blanket down on the sofa before she sits on it, let her. That seems a bit silly to me but it's such a small thing that doesn't hurt anyone else, so why not? If it is just a passing idea, she'll give up once she realises the effort it involves or wants to eat a favourite meal with meat in it. If it's a genuine ethical stance that she keeps throughout her life, she'll always remember whether or not you respected her views from the beginning.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:09

Well I’m on holiday in Italy at the moment and I would not be traipsing round in this heat looking for a vegan menu for a child without special needs. I haven’t noticed a single place bleating the vegan agenda.

Did you ask any places, or is speaking Italian too much trouble in the heat as well?

JamesBlonde1 · 11/07/2018 15:10

Ha ha no birthdays or Christmas? That’s not pandering when the average child is part of that. Perhaps look up the word pandering. The average child at 10 years old is hardly fed a vegan menu and refuses to sit on leather sofas. I know not one.

Wellthisunexpected · 11/07/2018 15:10

@GhostofFrankGrimes but it isn't just a burger is it. It's every time the family have an animal product. Milk substitutes do not have the same fat & calcium content, lentils and beans do not have the same types of protein or the same fat content and are higher fibre (not always a good thing for children) than whatever meat they are substituting. You can't substitute 100g of chicken breast in a curry with the same weight or volume of brand/ lentils/ tofu and expect the same nutritional make up. It's more complicated than that. OP will have to factor that in to ensure that her DD has a nutritionally complete diet. Like I've said, this isn't an occasional meal, which would be easy, it's a total lifestyle change which OP would have to work hard to accommodate.

DiegoMadonna · 11/07/2018 15:11

Vegan options are common in Italy. So I guess PP just isn't looking at the menu very hard.

JamesBlonde1 · 11/07/2018 15:12

I’m not looking for a vegan menu. Surely you can tell that from my posts. I’m happy piling on the meat. We all are. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:13

The average child at 10 years old is hardly fed a vegan menu and refuses to sit on leather sofas. I know not one.

This may come as a shock to you but not all 10 years olds are the same. Do you want individuals who are independent ora nation of drones who do nothing because everything is a fad anyway?

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:14

wellthis there are plenty of vegan resources out there. It is not particularly time consuming.

Bluelady · 11/07/2018 15:14

Personally I reckon she's just looking for a fight.

JamesBlonde1 · 11/07/2018 15:15

Anyway I’m off to get ready for the match. I imagine OP’s DD won’t want to watch that as the football being pelted around is made of leather Grinz

DiegoMadonna · 11/07/2018 15:16

I’m not looking for a vegan menu. Surely you can tell that from my posts. I’m happy piling on the meat. We all are. Easy peasy lemon squeezy

Okay. So your previous post was quite meaningless then. You've basically said you haven't noticed vegan food in Italy, because you haven't been looking. Shocker!

MaMaMaMySharona · 11/07/2018 15:16

JamesBlonde1

I don't really get your argument. You don't want (or need) to look for vegan options in Italy, so you haven't. Someone who is vegan will probably look for places that do vegan food, and PP said there is lots of choice. What's the issue here?

The majority of vegans/ plant based people I know have no interest in what other people eat. They do what they can, within their own limits and create their own boundaries in terms of what they eat and use. This is surely better than everyone on the planet doing nothing to help change, despite all the research telling us we should?

Wellthisunexpected · 11/07/2018 15:18

@GhostofFrankGrimes clearly there is no reasoning with you. It IS time consuming making a nutritionally complete vegan diet for a 10yo. The majority of easily available resources are for adults not pre-pubescent girls. They require a different nutrional intake. Finding out how to accommodate this in a healthful and vegan way certainly is time consuming.

It's time consuming doing it for yourself but if it's you that's committed to the cause you don't mind.

SummerGems · 11/07/2018 15:19

I wouldn’t be pandering to the wims of a ten year old either.

She could become a vegan when she can afford to be one.

I wouldn’t force her to eat meat if she genuinely didn’t want to eat meat but I wouldn’t be changing my shopping habbits and cooking two lots of meals.

I’d also be encouraging her to look at exactly what being vegan entailS because in my experience most people really don’t realise exactly what it involves cutting out of your diet e.g. pasta isn’t vegan because it contains eggs.

Bluelady · 11/07/2018 15:19

It beats me why meat eaters get so arsy about vegans and vegetarians.

Enko · 11/07/2018 15:22

I told dd2 she can go vegan when she can come to me and explain a 2 week menu and why the meals will cover all her nutritional value. She has remained vegetarian for now.

There was 2 reasons for my saying this
1 I dont fully understand what is needed to ensure a vegan diet is enough for a teenager (dd2 is 18) and
2 If she is to be vegan she has to understand exactly what she needs to be able to give herself a healthy balanced diet.

She is however slowly educating herself and I suspect that menu will arrive soonish. When that happens I will support her in wanting to be vegan in her diet. However she does not get a say in what I do or the rest of the family does. She want vegan products herself she purchases them.

I would do similar with a 10 year old to be honest.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:23

The majority of easily available resources are for adults not pre-pubescent girls.

A few seconds of googling found me baby and child vegan advice from the NHS, BBC and Vegan Society.

Enko · 11/07/2018 15:23

It beats me why meat eaters get so arsy about vegans and vegetarians.

The same could be said the other way around @Bluelady

Wellthisunexpected · 11/07/2018 15:23

@SummerGems, normal dried pasta is vegan. It's only fresh pasta that contains egg.

Bluelady · 11/07/2018 15:25

Not really, Enko. Most people who don't eat meat don't give a rat's arse what other people put in their mouths.

GhostofFrankGrimes · 11/07/2018 15:26

It beats me why meat eaters get so arsy about vegans and vegetarians.

because people feel threatened by anything that is different or beyond the comprehension of their narrow views.

Imagine doing a weekly shop for your family but sending the one veggie/vegan child out to buy their own food as if they were some sort of outcast or pariah.

Wellthisunexpected · 11/07/2018 15:27

@GhostofFrankGrimes now translate that in to a two week menu for a family of 4 where a meat version can also be made with only a few (one or two) different ingredients. THAT'S where the difficulty comes in.

I'm not saying being vegan isn't a valid lifestyle choice, that it isn't commendable or worthy. Or that it isn't healthy. I'm saying it's not simple for the OP to accommodate without the whole family also going vegan, which she is clear she doesn't want.