To say she can’t become a vegan yet

[funnyfairy360]

So my 10yr old DD has announced that she does not believe it is Ok to use animal products any more and from now on will not be eating/wearing/using anything made from animals or produced by animals. She does not even want to be ‘forced’ to sit on our leather couch. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for her finding her own way in life but this is not just becoming vegetarian or going goth, becoming vegan is life changing and to be honest too inconvenient and expensive for me to make happen for her right now. She said she has the right to choose I say yes when she can pay for the products and cook the food herself .....she wants vegan friendly washing up liquid/shampoo/ soap/ clothes/this list could go on and on. None of the rest of us have any desire to go vegan.

[perper]

I'd be bloody proud if this was my daughter.

She's old enough to help out with cooking so can help to prepare her own version of whatever you are eating- very very easy and very cheap to substitute mince for lentils, chicken for tofu etc and you don't have to rely on more expensive processed fake meats (though actually they're still usually cheaper than real meat!). Be more sparing if using vegan cheese- it tends to taste strong anyway.

Superdrug toiletries are all cruelty free- just avoid anything with milk or honey.

Leather sofa may have to stay for now- just remind her that most vegans choose to use up what they already have to reduce waste, but then ensure that new purchases etc fit with their values. Really the sofa is the only big issue- the rest is manageable

Make sure she takes a vitamin supplement with B12 in, and do a little reading up on balancing a vegan diet (it would be easy to live off oreos and houmous, but not very healthy!)- it is surprisingly simple but I do understand it seems daunting at first!

[reddressblueshoes]

Agree with others that I would allow her to become vegetarian: if she cuts out dairy at her age it will most likely have effects on her bones, not because you can't get enough calcium with a vegan diet but because I'd say very few teenagers/children will be able to stay on top of it themselves. Its also likely that she would become lactose intolerant and lose the ability to go back to dairy if she wanted to.

Saying she doesn't want to sit on your couch is very immature however- does she really think vegans refuse to sit down in dentists waiting rooms? I think its fair to support her, but its important to make her understand the choices she can control, and the choices she can't. I think making educating herself about nutrition a key part of that is important, but I'd be very careful about the sources she finds.

[donquixotedelamancha]

A vegan diet is one of the cheapest ways of eating going, as well as being healthy and good for the planet. I really can't see your problem.

Have you considered reading the OP?

[happypoobum]

YABU

At ten you cannot dictate what she puts into her own mouth, she needs some autonomy. When my DS became vegan I found it quite easy and was able to cook vegan meals for all the family a couple of times a week. The rest of the time he either cooked for himself or had what we had without the animal products.

[dudsville]

I'd want to support her. I'm a fish and chicken eater and use animal products btw.

[FatSally]

If you follow DistanceCall's advice don't be surprised if your DD ends up resenting you

So how far would you support a ten year olds whims? What's beyond vegan...fruitarian? Raw food only? What about solely organic. Or organic vegan?

Better support anything for fear they resent you?

[Bellabutterfly2016]

My friends daughter did this, it lasted less than 3 days before she got bored, she was 11 and had met a new friend at secondary school whose family were all vegan.
It could just be a phase!

[user1471453601]

My daughter decided to be a vegetarian forty years ago. At that time it was bloody difficult. Any processed food (bisciuts, bread, sweets etc) I had to scrutinise the ingredients to ensure there was no animal products in them. Holidays abroad were a nightmare, she existed on chips, mostly. Eating out? Omelette usually.

However, I now realise that it's because of people like her, that vegetarianism is now main stream. Perhaps veganism may be some day too.

Id say, go with it, it's not so hard these days. And yes DD is still a vegitarian

[AllyMcBeagle]

Saying she doesn't want to sit on your couch is very immature however- does she really think vegans refuse to sit down in dentists waiting rooms?

I don't like sitting on leather if I can avoid it. I've never liked the feel of it anyway and having been vegan for over 10 years the use of a dead creature's skin creeps me out and makes me think of The Silence of the Lambs.

But a nice throw that she can put over where she wants to sit ought to do the trick. Getting rid of it won't bring the cows back to life.

[Poloshot]

She'll grow out of it

[Onlyjoinedforthisthread]

Point out to her that vegetables and cereals are fertilized using manure from farmed animals them ask what she'd like to eat

[unicorn56]

i know its been said already but incase its missed all own brand toiletteries/household products are not tested on animals (e.g. tesco), therefore most will be vegan. If you are not buying them already, it will probably be cheaper to buy them then what you are buying already. As for the sofa I don't understand why her not wanting to sit on it is an issue, as long as she is willing to sit on the floor instead.

[Candyflip]

My vegetarian daughter wanted to trial vegan, so I joined her and we did it for a month. Well I did! She stopped before me! We already eat a lot of vegetarian food as a family so they were easy to tweak, lots of pulses, tofu etc. I did however fall into the trap of buying ‘replacements’ which is really expensive. I still buy coconut yoghurt as it is so bloody delicious and we both use almond milk in place of regular milk frequently. Could you do it as a trial? She may not want to continue as it is not as easy to be spontaneous, that is where my daughter opted out because when out with friends it was not always possible to get something vegan (we are not in U.K., I think it is easier there)

[perper]

@DistanceCall

I'd be showing her a documentary on the impact on soy and avocado crops on the environment.

I don't want to hijack the thread at all, but your argument here is really and truly complete nonsense, and the sources in that article are utterly awful (spoken as an environmental ecologist myself, not a tree hugging hippie but an actual scientist).

For example, producing 1kg of beef takes around 15 times as much water as 1kg of avocado.

And the big one that unwitting people always pull out- the 'soya is bad for the environment' one- please note that around 70 percent of the world's soy is fed directly to livestock and only six percent of soy is turned into human food, which is mostly consumed in Asia

This provides a non-biased, fact-based scientific explanation of a concept that many people don't realise- that eating meat inherently requires more resources than eating plants, due to the basic laws of energy and life. (Please note, the website is a science education website- I have specifically chosen one that is not related to vegetarianism/veganism in any way- BBC bitesize will tell you the same but in less detail) sciencing.com/being-vegetarian-conserve-overall-energy-trophic-levels-3342.html

[loveyouradvice]

I agree re compromise.... and am doing so with my want-to-be-vegan DD.... she has accepted that cutting back is better than not cutting back, and has also accepted eating meat (mince only) once a week and fish once a week until she is 18....

we in turn are eating vegetarian more often than not (and recognise this is healthier for the planet and probably for us) and always have Veggie Mondays... So all of us have shifted and she feels we are supporting her but recognises that we believe for health and other reasons this is good compromise. We also where possible buy an eco version of stuff....

[specialsubject]

fine! she works out meal plans and nutrition. she can sit on the floor. she takes her b12. all good.

no new clothes until outgrown as we all need to minimise waste. no new gadgets just for the hell of it.

[Fuckedoffat48b]

Veganism is a lifestyle, not just a diet. She seems to realise that. Good, she sounds like a clever, switched on girl. It is a lifestyle that is practiced by exercising your consumer power in a certain way. She is 10 and doesn't have much/any consumer power, so I wonder how this can really even play out?

The fact she seems to think the change can happen overnight suggests she doesn't really understand. Most adult vegans come to it gradually.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Personally I would be saying no until she was at a stage where she could cater for herself as for us this would be a massive lifestyle change - we don't really eat any vegan meals at all so it would mean a huge shift. It would be expensive and a lot of extra work.

If you already eat meals which can be easily adapted then it may be more feasible for you, but I'd end up cooking in duplicate endlessly. And like heck would I be switching out toiletries and household products based on the current preferences of a 10 year old.

[DiegoMadonna]

When I turned vegetarian I also stopped buying leather products. I still have a couple of pairs of leather shoes that I bought years ago though. Chucking them out now wouldn't change anything. I'm trying to reduce suffering –wearing a pair of leather shoes I already own isn't going to cause any suffering to anything or anyone.

[colditz]

This would be a flat no from me.

No to the throw so she doesn't have to touch the leather couch. No the the fake dairy and fake meat. No to the changing of the washing powder and household shampoos.

No. Flat NO.

The only thing I would accept is what I already accept - eat it or don't, your choice.

She's ten. She understands very little about nutrition, and does not have a fully developed moral compass. She may understand that eating quinoa instead of mince saves a cow, but does she understand that it starves Bolivian children? And that having palm oil margarine instead of butter avoids the dairy industry but it kills the orangutans? That the world is suffocating under plastic and acrilics instead of wool, silk and leather are not helping? That if we don't eat the honey, nobody will keep the bees - and the plants she wishes to live on won't get pollenated?

[funnyfairy360]

I do all the cooking and have no time to plan separate meals we talked about going vegetarian and to her credit for the past month she has been but that’s been easy just more of the other stuff and none of the meat, now she seems a bit obsessed about animal welfare I think if the animal doesn’t suffer consuming/using it is fine she feels people need to change starting with our family and if we respected her (yes she really is just 10) then we would make more of an effort to change with her. I love her for having passion in her beliefs but to be completely honest I just don’t get the whole vegan thing I’m just bloody annoyed that she thinks she has the moral high ground.

[AllyMcBeagle]

So how far would you support a ten year olds whims? What's beyond vegan...fruitarian? Raw food only? What about solely organic. Or organic vegan?

I think if my child wanted to follow a diet for ethical reasons I would try and encourage them as long as it could be done in a healthy way and was feasible in terms of cost. I am extremely doubtful whether a fruitarian diet is healthy (although would investigate it further if my child was interested), but as above I don't think that a vegan diet is extreme, expensive or particularly inconvenient nowadays, or not any more so than vegetarianism.

[Bluelady]

I read the op, Donquixote. I just happen to disagree (as the mother of a vegan) that a vegan diet is expensive. It's not.

[mumsastudent]

if she goes vegan she has to eat a really balanced diet and not be fussy about eating lots of different type vegetables fruit nuts lentils and dhal and fruit, I would suggest you mass cook large portions of vegan food that you can freeze.or Dhal it is easy; rinse lentils thoroughly, boil and skim scum off top, while cooking crispy fry onions add spices (chilli, cumin coriander, or cheat and use curry powder) fry this with onion till spices lightly brown set to one side. continue to boil dhal until it thickens and is soft. boil rice just before serving dhal add onion spice and stir in green coriander we serve with salad,vegan yoghourt, & tomato sauce yum! the non vegans could serve with fish fingers

[FASH84]

I think it's workable avoid the expensive substitutes, give her a plant based diet and b12, the sofas stay, add others have said a huge amount of inexpensive products are vegan friendly including a lot of own brand stuff so that's not even an issue. She might get bored she might not, it's good to support her choices, but she needs to understand you can make your own choices too (the whole household needn't go vegan)