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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - World Cup final and 6yo Birthday party

303 replies

Viktorella · 10/07/2018 10:23

A boy in DD1's class is having a whole class party this Sunday (3pm-5pm)

Given that there's now some chance of England making it to the final, I assumed that the parents would be factoring that in to their planning at this stage (I know I would be if it was my daughter's party)...maybe moving the time of the party or having a big screen to show football at party.

I casually asked the boy's mum about it yesterday and it clearly hadn't entered her mind. She huffily responded "Well I can hardly cancel the party!"

AIBU to think that, if she doesn't consider it, she might end up with a lot of kids not attending? I wouldn't want my daughter to go (although would probably still take her out of guilt) and I'm far from being a football fan!

OP posts:
CrochetBelle · 10/07/2018 11:11

The problem is the fucking entitlement of men's football supporters. If it's that big a deal you can check your phone to find out how many balls have been kicked, if you have agreed to do something other than watch television while a particular men's football match is being shown. But other people, who don't like men's football or are not bothered about it, don't deserve to have the things that matter to them wrecked because of a men's football match and this peculiar level of insistence (worse than ever this year) that it's more important than anything or anyone else.

This.

WeirdScenesInsideTheGoldmine · 10/07/2018 11:11

I don’t understand why you can’t prevail on another parent to take your child along as a favour?

flowery · 10/07/2018 11:11

Oh sorry I thought kick off was 4pm.

Still if it's kick off at 3, the OP will miss a few minutes of the first half, and can pick up after the final whistle (or during extra time!).

Original poster
Viktorella · 10/07/2018 11:11

Party is about 20 mins drive away so whoever does pick up (that'll be me then!) will miss a good chunk of the match.

I was mostly surprised that it hadn't occurred to her - I'm not a football fan at all but can hardly miss the fact that the World Cup final is coming up and that, if England are in it, it will be quite important to a lot of people!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:13

Why is it entitled to put the sport you love before a party, but not entitled to put a party before a sport someone else loves?

ReanimatedSGB · 10/07/2018 11:14

To an awful lot of people this IS just some sporting event that they don't care about. Just FYI, bandwagon jumpers, there is nothing that a person wants to watch on television that is so important that everyone else is obliged to pay attention to it when it bores them and has no relevance to their lives. Nothing at all.

ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:14

OP is not complaining about her pickup, but worried that the party will be a disaster because no-one will go.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/07/2018 11:15

Well, ravenmum, it's fairly standard good manners not to cancel when you have accepted an invitation because something 'better' has come along.
'I'm not coming because I want to watch television' makes you sound like a dick.

ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:16

So on Royal Wedding Day you would have all held your own birthday party at the moment they said "I do", and insisted that the TV be kept off as no-one needed to watch it? What a load of spoil sports!

DidimusStench · 10/07/2018 11:16

Yeah I’d be pissy too. The Mum’s probably been planningvthis for a while, she’s put a lot of time into it and hard earned money. Her kid is excited because it’s their birthday (can you remember what it’s like being a kid and having a birthday party?!) and then people pipe up saying she should change things because they want to watch football.

There’s old that MN chestnut; it’s an invitation, not a summons, you can decline. However, surely that’s up to your kid that’s invited not you. If you’ve accepted and now changing your mind because YOU want to watch football that’s just rude. Such short notice too.

ReservoirDogs · 10/07/2018 11:16

"Men's football match" - seriously Grin

It may not be your thing but it is many many people's thing. The very nature of a knock out tournament means you don't know when your team will.be playing (except if they make the final). It is a massive deal to many many people and therefore the party planner needs to decide whether they move the event or have a scaled down event but they can't force people to do what they want.

52 years since we won world cup v kid's birthday party! I know my choice - it might not match yours but the party giver needs to appreciate that.

ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:16

OP has not said that at all, Reanimated.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/07/2018 11:17

Mind you, with any luck there are enough people with a basic grasp of courtesy and kindness among the other families whose kids are invited for the party to work. There are social circles where hardly anyone is interested in men's football or sport in general, after all.

Ski4130 · 10/07/2018 11:18

We're a divided house - dh and ds 1 and 2 are huge football fans, dd and I aren't. We've had a few things shifted due to matches (ds 2 and dd's school play tomorrow now starts at 5, not 615 as previously planned, and a baby shower dd and I are going to on Sunday is being started earlier on the off chance England make it through)

I'm on the fence with it BUT that's because there are two of us, so when dh and ds' decide that a football match means they can't do anything for the whole 90 minutes, I can still take dd where she needs to be and nothing's been missed, shoved aside for a match yet.

Would I let any of the kids miss a party because of the football? No. Not even the eldest most football obsessed one. If you commit to your child going somewhere, you see it through. It's massively selfish to say 'well, my child won't go IF we get through' get a grip. If you're such a big football fan then you wouldn't have accepted an invite for the day of the final anyway, regardless of whether England were in or out of it. To accept and then not go is real CF behaviour.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/07/2018 11:19

I know plenty of people who were not interested in royal weddings, either. Some people planned parties or get-togethers for the date of the last one in order to avoid all the heteronormative classist bullshit.

araiwa · 10/07/2018 11:21

If england make it to the final, wild horses wouldnt be able to drag me away from the game. A kids birthday has no chance

I understand others may be different

Minisoksmakehardwork · 10/07/2018 11:22

Honestly, I think you were rude for asking. But; if it were me, depending on the venue (we often hire a hall), I'd be seeing if I could rearrange the time so pick up was at half time. Such an easy way to prevent families from hanging around when you just want to clear up and go.

However not everyone has that option and I can imagine if she's hired soft play or anything like that, she's likely to lose money if she cancels.

ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:22

Both sides have to be considerate, right? The wedding/sports lovers and the non-wedding/sports lovers should ideally both get to do what they want. In this case, only one event could possibly be rescheduled.

Again, OP is not saying she can't go, but that she is worried others won't.

Bobbydeniro69 · 10/07/2018 11:23

Here we go again :

  1. Stop calling it ' Mens football ' and ' Mens football match ' . It sounds ridiculous and childish.

  2. It is a big deal for the country , not just football fans. It's gone further than that. Stats can say all they want, but the country in general is enjoying something that's patriotic, positive and not racist. That doesn't happen often.

  3. Stop being sneery, snobby and elitist about football and it's fans. Yes there have been unacceptable alcohol related issues but there are at Henley, Royal Ascot and other ' high brow' events.

ReservoirDogs · 10/07/2018 11:23

Personally if I was havibg a party at that time I'd move it. If I didn't I wouldn't think anyone saying they would be watching the football a dick. I would be Hmm at anyone who kept calling it just a mens football.match rather than the World Cup Final.

If I was her I'd wait to if England qualify but have a contingency rearranged party planned.

Its not going to come as a shock if people don't show up as they have all been asking.

Yes pp can't remember yiur name final.is 4pm so the hurry back for 2nd half and any et and penalties would work if close by!

araiwa · 10/07/2018 11:24

Also, id have no problem ringing to explain junior's not attending as they want to see the football

PieAndPumpkins · 10/07/2018 11:24

I think it's a bit naive of her yeah. I'd move the party time. Kids parties are notoriously poorly supported anyway, I'd expect less children to turn up. It's 'just football' or television to lots of people, but to lots and lots of other people it's once in 4 year event and much much rarer as it's the final. I wouldn't risk it for my child personally, whatever your personal views on football are.

ReservoirDogs · 10/07/2018 11:25

Well.said BobbuDeniro69

ravenmum · 10/07/2018 11:26

To be fair, it is a men's football match :)

Metoodear · 10/07/2018 11:26

Change it or no one will be their I amfarid if you just move the time to 2:30 people will have a chance to drop off then get back home to watch the match

I can say I have the most lovey dh very child centred but semi final of World Cup would be his red line

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