To call social services

[LittleMermaidRose]

Myself and DP don't know what to do (if anything)
A neighbour across the street from us has been shouting at her little girl constantly. Not even shouting, she screams at her. We never hear the child, just the mother. It seems to be her way of communicating with her.

We can't hear them when they're in their house, only their garden. What with the hot weather, they've been out a lot. On Saturday, we actually counted the mother screaming 45 times in an hour. But it's constant throughout the day.

We've never heard any threats towards the little girl or any hitting but it does make me wonder what's going on behind closed doors. How much more screaming goes on indoors?

We're worried it's emotional abuse. It really is constant shouting and screaming, when they're outdoors at least.

We don't know them personally so don't know their situation, but we feel worried for the child. We've been thinking of calling social services for advice but is it uncalled for?

I don't want to split up a family/do nothing if a child is being harmed. What's the best thing to do?

Could you ask the mum if everything is ok?

I'd have no hesitation in ringing SS, no child deserves to be shouted at day in day out regardless of excuses.

I would call SS, let them decide, she might just need some help. Either way if it is abuse and something happens to that child that is a lot of regret to live with.

The fact that it's constant is bad.

Don't ask the mother if everything is okay, she is never going to be honest if she is abusing her child and she will know just where to go when SS are eventually called by a concerned neighbour, regardless of whether it is you or not.

If that's what she does outside I would hate to think how treats her child when no one can see her. Call SS

How old (roughly) is the child op?

Is the mum screaming just in general or telling her off?
Is it abusive what she's shouting?

Don't put a note through the door

That's the thing, she's not name calling or anything, but it's the manner in which she screams and roars.

We can hear them if they're taking, but I have honestly only heard the mother actually talking at a normal volume a handful of times, and that's been to an adult (don't know if it was bf/husband).

The little girl can only be around 5/6. We never hear her being cheeky, and she never talks back when she's being screamed at. Never cries either which makes me think she's used to it :(

It could just be that the mother has an extremely short temper but she seems to lose it over nothing.

"come here"
"don't play with that"
"put that down"

I'd imagine that if she was concerned that her child was going to hurt herself, she would remove anything dangerous from the garden.

It genuinely feels like she just wants to shout at her.
It's upsetting to hear it.

You could call or email the nspcc helpline for advice
www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/nspcc-helpline/

Please ring them.

Is the child hard of hearing?

That doesn’t really sound abusive. It doesn’t sound like stellar parenting but it wouldn’t really concern me.

Yes, report. Abusive behaviour is not always physical.

Not being funny op but from what you’ve said ‘come here’ ‘don’t touch that’ ‘put that down’ don’t really sound like abusive things to say to a child.

Maybe she doesn’t realise how loud she is, maybe the child struggles to pay attention / listen so the mum needs to talk louder.

Only you know the context, do you think social services need to be notified? What does your partner think?

please ring social services emotional abuse affects us all our life and you need to act now before it esculates if she is not doing this and is innocent then fair enough maybe she is a parent who is struggling and needs help

It sounds like she is just a shouty mum, however there is no harm on passing on any concerns you have. As pp have said the NSPCC is a good way to do this. They can pass your concerns on the right people.

Ring NSPCC they can escalate to social services etc....they will also offer advice to you. Please remember social services don't just swoop in and take children from family home, unless a child is in immediate danger a lot of help & support is offered. Removing children really is a last resort.

'Come here' ; 'put that down' ; 'don't play with that' doesn't sound abusive. It sounds like parenting.
All DH's family are very loud because they grew up with a mum who was going deaf and they spoke louder and louder to compensate.

I don't think that - given the content of the shouting - there's anything to care about. I'd keep my nose out in your position.

Definitely call ss, if you can hear her from across the street shouting imagine how loud and intimidating it must be for the poor child.

As PP have said, ss aren't going to go in guns blazing and immediately separate them but it does sound like this should be something they are made aware of.

I have been involved in Social Services. They are incredibly supportive and encouraging. They will try to put it right. Maybe workshops on parenting and keeping an eye on the family with help and suggestions. If you are wrong, no harm done but if this child is not being treated well. You would have saved her from future problems and a terribly unacceptable life. It’s obviously making you wince. Think how the child feels. The mother might need help and not know a way forward. Use your gut instinct.

I would be the first to call SS if I thought there was any abuse going on. However, my next door neighbours are really loud and seem unable to speak normally. Kids shriek all day long, they are older children not young, the grandad shouts. They are all really loud! Maybe it’s just the way she is

That isn't abuse, OP.

That's not abuse op she may find the girl doesn't listen unless she raises her voice or the girl or mum may have impaired hearing.

Can I ask if you have children?