To need to hear about vasectomies

[TillyMint81]

Dh is waiting on a letter for the date of his vasectomy.
Can anyone let me know what to expect? I work lates and he does the afternoon school run and subsequent child wrangling.
He's not very good at stopping still so I'm wondering if I need to book the evening off work. He's already said no but then it's not something we've been through before!
Friends of his aren't useful as some sailed through and some found it tough.
Can I hear your experiences please.

Also I am pretty sure most women thankfully have the choice in pregnancy.
Well I do, because both my husbands had vasectomies.

Please feel very free to produce references to refute

Not how it works dude. You make an assertion, you back it up. Otherwise we’ll just assume you’re unable to do so.

Fact is, in a mutually agreeable situation and with all the stats and worst case scenarios made available vasectomy is a reasonable option for a couple.

Majority of “other options” yet again require the woman to take responsibility for contraception. Ergo they have to deal with the side effects (bar the long term use of condoms). Removing a reasonable option for people who want it shouldn’t be the desired state

I posted sources, referencing NHS data, feel free to reference further and refute.

37,700 in 2001-02

11,113 in 2014-15

That’s a 70% + drop on NHS within 13 years, and predates restriction of the procedure.

Sources:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20309913

amp.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/21/number-of-vasectomies-in-england-falls-64-in-10-years

Given my own very horrible experience possibly I am somewhat posting in hope ;)

"Not how it works dude" I am not invested enough in the statements to be Mr Google for everyone but know I am correct from prior reading.

DH was so woozy from the valium he was given to take in advance that he would not have been able to drive himself home (or even get public transport or anything requiring thinking!) Sore that day and the next, but up and about as normal the following day and back at work. I did make him miss a week of cricket though

Given my own very horrible experience possibly I am somewhat posting in hope

Why though? Another man not having access to a procedure doesn’t mean your situation is any better.

It’s totally shitty when something “routine” goes wrong and leaves you with complications. Total banning of the procedure isn’t the answer.

but know I am correct from prior reading

Man asserts he is correct and doesn’t need to provide evidence. Quelle surprise

And I agree with Weighted - fortunately the GP was very happy to refer DH for the snip without any angst about him wanting DC with a future, other wife

"Man asserts he is correct and doesn’t need to provide evidence. Quelle surprise"

I hope you are not stooping to stereotyping me based upon gender. ;)

I hope you are not stooping to stereotyping me based upon gender

You seem to be handling that very well yourself

And once again...
Once you are playing the man not the ball...you know what they say...

Goodnight

@BoneyBackJefferson I totally agree with the 'my body my choice.'

I admit that after 10 years together with me dealing with all the contraception (and birth of 3 huge babies) that I felt he could take some responsibility. However, I would never have pressured him, it was his idea and I said to him from start to finish that it was 100% his choice. I was even asking him if he was sure as I dropped him at the clinic. If he hadn't wanted to them I would have respected that and looked into sterilisation myself as other methods no longer agree with me.

So I can see where the 'my DH won't have a vasectomy' threads are born from. But I don't feel that from society there is pressure, certainly not what we have experienced.

Partner had his vasectomy after we had our third. He worked the next day ,and whilst he did bruise ,it's wasn't painful.
He does tell everyone that I made him walk home after the snip though (miscommunication ,I went to supermarket thinking he'd said friend was going to drop him home as the doctor's surgery is only 5 minutes away. Obviously not ,lol ).

keepingbees

I apologise if it feels like I was having a go.

Gosh, goodness knows WHY women initiate divorce when men are such marvellous specimens as shown on this thread.

I would have thought very poorly of my husband had he not gone for a vasectomy. I have serious mental health issues when I take hormone contraception, I’m allergic to latex and I got pregnant on the copper coil.

CantankerousCamel

So you wouldn't think twice about a 1 in 10 chance of long term irreversible pain?

But you would be happy to emotional blackmail your DH in to an operation that he doesn't want?

Boney I imagine the chances of physical trauma after four pregnancies and births are more than ‘1 in 10’

I don’t need to ‘emotionally blackmail’ my husband because he is a sensible man. Vasectomy was really the only option for us, he understands that. With his own brain because it makes perfect sense. Even if there is a risk of trauma, it is far, far less than the risk to me.

Ex dp had his in his tea break & planned no time off at all. Got up following procedure and fainted. Had 3 days in bed and a week off work. He was so swollen and bruised. Made him a far more sympathetic GP !

CantankerousCamel

Its good that your DH wanted to get it done. But thinking less of someone because they have valid reasons not to is not good.

It's not a choice between vasectomy and childbirth though.

There are many other options.

I absolutely think less of men who (probably whilst living with women who are dealing with being in pain due to childbirth or some complication of birth) can turn around and say ‘oh fuck getting myself sterilised, you carry on taking care of all that dear, regardless of cost to you’

It’s not okay

CantankerousCamel it's not an either/or situation though

It’s a shame it’s pretty much the only option men have for bearing any weight on the risks related to reproductive choices aspect aside from condoms which most people don’t use in Ltrs.

The male pill was a total failure wasn’t it for some reason due to side effects - but didn’t some people say women had experienced the same side effects and the drugs got approved?
My info may be out of date.

As part of a basket of choices across a 30 year horizon it’s worth considering - by the time you’re 35, a woman could amhave had 2 dc with birth injuries, been on the pill for 10-15 years and still be facing at least 10 more years pre menopause with a risk of pg.

I absolutely think less of men who (probably whilst living with women who are dealing with being in pain due to childbirth or some complication of birth) can turn around and say ‘oh fuck getting myself sterilised, you carry on taking care of all that dear, regardless of cost to you

Nice simplification there.

Dh was sensible and kind and it has cost him an awful lot. We’d both like to never talk of it again but I suppose we’ll have to as long as nasty, mocking attitudes like yours are around.