To need to hear about vasectomies

[TillyMint81]

Dh is waiting on a letter for the date of his vasectomy.
Can anyone let me know what to expect? I work lates and he does the afternoon school run and subsequent child wrangling.
He's not very good at stopping still so I'm wondering if I need to book the evening off work. He's already said no but then it's not something we've been through before!
Friends of his aren't useful as some sailed through and some found it tough.
Can I hear your experiences please.

I haven't seen anyone arguing that 'my body, my choice' shouldn't be the deciding vote in having a vasectomy.
But those suggesting banning vasectomy don't seem to be recognising women's right to 'my body, my choice' over pregnancy; I would be pregnant now if my husband hadn't had an (entirely successful and not painful at any point) vasectomy. Either that or we'd be entirely without a proper sex life.

Contraception is a hassle and often involves sacrifice. Such as when I was on the pill for two years during my first marriage, and got severe depression, but as we wanted another child in the future vasectomy wasn't yet an option so I had to stay on it. Many men are equally prepared to share in the hassle and sacrifice, and take the small risk of ongoing pain, especially after seeing their wives go through the pain of pregnancy and childbirth (which sometimes leads to permanent pain in and of itself) and banning vasectomy would remove their only option for doing so at present.

DH had it on a Thursday. Was off work on the Friday as well and back to work, gingerly on the Monday. He was in quite a lot of pain for about 2 weeks and delicate for another 2-3, with intermittent pain for about another 6 weeks or so after that. He was a bit down about it but after about 3 months (me coming off th pill!), things seemed to come good and he never mentions it now, 9 months later. All good. He is generally pretty stoic so he really did suffer, he wasn’t being a man child. I felt a teeny bit guilty but years of contraception and childbearing did mean I had kinda had enough of fucking about with my body.

BAUS and others quote up to 15% chronic pain rates, thats worse than 1/7.

www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Vasectomy.pdf

1/7 does not look like a small occurance of chronic pain to me.

"Troublesome chronic testicular pain which
can be severe enough to affect day-to-day
activities
Between 1 in 7 &
1 in 20 patients"

People have the right to make informed choices and nobody could ever force anyone to have an operation they don’t want of course - perhaps we should also consider banning childbirth and any current contraceptive options where there is an unacceptable risk of long term consequences?

The stats on scrotal pain after vasectomy are wonderfully clear, unlike the stats on birth injuries and side effects of contraception.

If a new method of contraception was introduced for women leaving 10% with genital pain a decade later, I think it's fair to say enthusiasm for uptake would be very low indeed

Women have been dealing with appalling side effects of contraception for years.

Banning vasectomy is a knee jerk reaction. There needs to be full appraisal of risks and couples (or indeed single men) deciding fully together. Nobody should ever be pressurised into any sort of medical treatment.

Husband had it done in february

No shaving of balls needed ;-)

Took about an hour, hurt for about 4 days, was about 2 weeks before he wanted to attempt sex again.

Now he’s spermless and we are so relieved, best thing we ever did sans the wonderful DC’s of course

The stats on scrotal pain after vasectomy are wonderfully clear

What? Make a point that the stats on childbirth injuries are woefully low by all means but don’t just lie and say the stats on vasectomy are wonderfully cleAr.

I don't know all the stats in detail, as my DH researched it all himself. He thought (and he has a background in stats) that there is a difference depending on what type of vasectomy, and which surgeon. The private one who did his - no-scalpel technique - has every patient fill in forms some months after and the level of ongoing pain was just a few percent. Even then, almost all reported as mild.

DH also spent time browsing forums (on Reddit or somewhere like that, I'm guessing) and reading men's experience of this chronic pain. Lots of them were reporting it as severe and chronic, but it was only happening for a few seconds after exercise, or whatever. So even within the smaller "Severe, ongoing" pain group, it wasn't always constant.

Clearly there are cases of severe, chronic, constant pain, and that's terrible for those concerned. But he felt confident that it wasn't a 1/7 risk of severe, chronic, constant pain, like some of his friends fearfully told him (he was the first in his groups of friends to get a vasectomy).

As he said at the time, he gets severe pain intermittently from an injury sustained during tennis. It doesn't stop him playing tennis because he loves it more than he minds the pain. Even more so for sex... (Though thankfully he didn't experience any pain at all.)

Not a good experiance got a massive infection really difficult to walk due to the swelling.Suffered long term pain which would wake me up and if I was walking sometimes would stop me in my tracks .After many appointments and scan told the best option was to have it reversed to see it that helps better but not gone .At the consultants appointment afterwards he spoke a lot about long term pain and said it is about 1 in 10 end up with this to some degree. This was NEVER mentioned at the pre op consultation which I think is very poor if you are going for an op and the odds are you will be left in pain is 1 in 10 there should be more emphasis on this.

Somerville

I may have missed it but I think the "banning vasectomies" is a misreading of what I put about my friend having his testicles scraped as in a removal of film that had developed on them.

Not scrapped.

XH has one years ago. It was the laser one under local anaesthetic that the GPs do, Saturday morning whilst I was at ballet with DD. Two pairs of M&S briefs worn at the same time will keep him comfy and regular paracetamol. I'd say he'd be ok. If he has to have a general anaesthetic or sedation then they'll need someone with him for 24hours post procedure. There's a risk of complications in every procedure so if you'll worry then take the evening off.

I didn't misread you Boney; OnetimePoster said vasectomies should be banned.

Yes leggings were a big relief to him in February so some tight pants would be good

Clearly the small rates of problems that occur with vastecomies don’t come close the endless trauma on a women’s body when hormones and whatnot are engineered to prevent it from becoming pregnant for almost a whole lifetime.

Somerville

Just checking :)

DH become very fond of his supportive padded cycling pants for a month or so!

They let me go in with DH when he got his done. He has the pain threshold of a total wimp anyway so I knew it was going to be weeks of wimpering and being unable to lift anything heavier than the TV remote control - but actually the worst bit was them wanting him shaved and ready to go when he's got the tickliest nuts on the planet (he kept squirming and giggling so much it's a wonder his knob remained attached to his body with me wielding the razor) and then the whining when he had to wear tight briefs and not boxers for a fortnight afterwards.

As for the "ban them cos they hurt poor bollocks" crowd - after the fucking birth injuries I have leaving me in lifelong pain and with mobility issues... DH was very much of the attitude that it was HIS turn to take the hit and have his nether regions messed about with instead.

And I always find the "oh but what if you split and he wants another family" argument incredibly offensive - like the woman is something disposable but man, almighty man must keep his shagging options open.

Are the vast majority of divorces not initiated by women?

There is of course also a degree of insecurity and a desire for control in some womens demand for men to have a vasectomy.

I am sorry you had such a poor child birth experience, I have friends who also have physical and trauma problems lasting years after having their children, those effects have been very long lived and cast a shadow over their lives.

My opinion still stands though, given vasectomy is permanent surgical sterilisation, leads to a high occurance of long term chronic genital pain, and there are alternatives, I am VERY VERY happy that is is dying out rapidly in the UK.
And I would happily see its use limited very much further again.

Your mileage may vary however.

*Are the vast majority of divorces not initiated by women?

There is of course also a degree of insecurity and a desire for control in some womens demand for men to have a vasectomy*

Stats for both please.

And I would happily see its use limited very much further again

Would you be happy to see childbirth limited because women suffer injuries?

I am not your secretary

I am not your secretary

“I can’t because I have nothing to back up my wild assertions”

Fixed that for you

Please feel very free to produce references to refute.

Also I am pretty sure most women thankfully have the choice in pregnancy.

And where are stats saying vasectomy is dying out in this country? I previously heard that the rate of them offered on NHS is in decline, but men are paying privately instead.