To need to hear about vasectomies

[TillyMint81]

Dh is waiting on a letter for the date of his vasectomy.
Can anyone let me know what to expect? I work lates and he does the afternoon school run and subsequent child wrangling.
He's not very good at stopping still so I'm wondering if I need to book the evening off work. He's already said no but then it's not something we've been through before!
Friends of his aren't useful as some sailed through and some found it tough.
Can I hear your experiences please.

Thank you so much. It's been really informative.
Question for you That would it be better if he ahem tidied himself up before he goes in?

so interestingly, no real discrepancy between UK and US data in that around 15% of people do see new scrotal pain, although the US data is saying only 1% severe enough to hamper their lives.

It's a tough one isn't it, sometimes I look at all the contraceptive and sterilizing options and none of them look terribly good. Better than historically I suppose we can say.

"would it be better if he ahem tidied himself up before he goes in?"

If you mean shave, then no, no need. The incision is tiny and does not always require stitching.

If you search the scientific databases, there are dozens of papers which put the rate of occurrence in line with NHS guidelines of 10% for the serious consequences (not all of which depend self-reported pain levels). If anything, 10% is on the low side. Though of course the most intractable forms of PVPS are only a fraction of that.

It's not necessary. I didn't (mainly because I couldn't find my electric razor) but there's no need. The only reason it used to be advised was for the stitches but they don't use them anymore.

I'm so glad I asked the question. I was worried I'd get a lot of 'oh poor him' sarcasm about it.
We are happy with our lot and don't want anymore children so this seemed like the best course but I've been surprised by some of the stats.
Thank you againz

DH had a no-scalpel vasectomy very recently. (He had it privately or there would have been a longish wait, and we were fed up of using condoms.)
He said the "pain" was so mild that he didn't notice it as long as he kept on top of taking ibuprofen. He drove home, and played tennis the next day.

Regarding the 'tidying up', yes my DH had to - it was specified on the pre op letter that you must shave beforehand.
Also he had dissolvable stitches. This was only 4 weeks ago so not out of date info.

It's an nhs appointment but at a private clinic.
Two towns within a ten mile radius of us have stopped doing vasectomies on the nhs so he had to get the appt booked quickly before our area stops doing them too.

Ours was nhs too but at a doctors surgery in the next town. I didn't realise the nhs was stopping doing them!

I had mine at a private clinic through the nhs too. I'm not complaining about that though

Sorry but as others have suggested sometimes long term problems can happen.
My good friend's OH has had his health destroyed by a vasectomy.

My other half ended up having a week off work after his swelled up like a melon.

He says he would suggest very very tight Speedo tight pants. They really helped.

Another bad vasectomy victim here.

I had a vasectomy in 13, still in pain now over 5 years on in spite of paying £3k for a reversal.

If a new method of contraception was introduced for women leaving 10% with genital pain a decade later, I think it's fair to say enthusiasm for uptake would be very low indeed.

Men's are blatantly lied to and socially pressurised around vasectomy, I practically spit when I hear the word, I have been left hating them and the pressure exerted on men to undergo a 10% risk of potentially lifelong genital pain when so many alternatives exist.

Royal College of Surgerons of England reference stating 15% rate is here:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1964127/

British Association of Urological Surgeons, patient advice reports chronic pain in 5-15% of patients.

www.baus.org.uk/_userfiles/pages/files/Patients/Leaflets/Vasectomy.pdf

British Journal of Urology paper.

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2003.04663.x/full

Here 13% + still had pain a decade after their vasectomy.

Journal of Andrology paper, explains the changes in the testicles following vasectomy and the mechanisms behind chronic pain:
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/j.1939-4640.2003.tb02675.x/full

Wikipedia, Post Vasectomy Pain Syndrome

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-vasectomy_pain_syndrome

UK Vasectomy Rates are down 64% in ten years

amp.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/21/number-of-vasectomies-in-england-falls-64-in-10-years

Take Care

Canadian Urology Association give the Chronic pain outcomes at between 1 and 14%

www.cua.org/themes/web/assets/files/vasectomy4017_v4.pdf

Men's are blatantly lied to and socially pressurised around vasectomy, I practically spit when I hear the word, I have been left hating them and the pressure exerted on men to undergo a 10% risk of potentially lifelong genital pain when so many alternatives exist.

For lots of couples there isn't a good alternative. I have no sex drive and get depression on hormonal contraception so would never use it again. I've been married twice, and both my first and second husband chose to have a vasectomy rather than continue using condoms after pregnancy scares. Their doctors explained the slight risks of some level of pain afterwards, but both times they felt that it was a risk worth taking to:
1/ Have a sex life
2/ Not have me go through 100% guaranteed chance of pain from another pregnancy.

My friends partner had one one thing I will say dh will get teased y his friends but after a week it was fine

He’s had no issues

There are always alternatives.

In our case it was doubling up on contraceptive methods.
I had a diaphragm and OH used condoms.
Doubling up on methods like this is as effective as the pill.

Remember a woman's fertility declines with age- so while a vasectomy may seem a good idea when a couple have finished making a family, it is not really required for the rest of a couple's life in many cases.

When I hit 43 we relied on a diaphragm alone, I knew my chances of conceiving at this age will be slim anyway, so we reckoned a diaphragm would serve us well.

As a couple you may have another 30 years of sexual activity ahead of you when you finish having kids- how many of these years are fertile ones?

When my friends OH had the snip she was 42- I mean really why bother?
He now faces a lifetime of pain- all so they could avoid using other types of contraception for just a few years.

DH had a scheduled 4 days off work and was uncomfortable afterwards but no problems since, 11 years ago. The worst part for him was the surgeon's son was friends with our eldest DS. He said it was embarrassing chatting away about the kids while he had his testicles in his hand.

Did they know the chronic genital pain risks and were they correctly briefed that they were likely above a 1/10 occurance?
Did you consider non hormonal copper IUD?
Did you consider laparoscopic tubal occlusion?
Does your 1st husband want any further children now you have parted?

Given my experience and the statistics I have posted above, I personally think vasectomy should be going the way of Essure implants and becoming an all but unavailable option.

Indeed the rates in the UK look to be going through the floor.

Everyone is free to their own choice, but as someone typing at this moment living in genital pain, I very much think it should be fully informed choice. Unfortunately mine was not.

Men should be given at least a one hour counselling session on the risks including those of long term genital pain before any surgeon is willing to proceed.

I am sorry for your experiencing depression, given my experience with chonic pain I can genuinely somewhat sympathise.

I'm sorry to those experiencing chronic pain but to say they should scrap vasectomies is a bit extreme.

Who pressures all these men into having them? My husband certainly wasn't pressured! It was 100% his choice, and I also offered to get myself sterilised instead. We discussed it at length as a couple and he then had two prior appointments beforehand in which he discussed his options. He has no regrets.

Women can experience chronic pain from sterilisation too, perhaps look at those statistics too. Many women suffer side effects from hormonal contraception and an increased risk of blood clots. They can also suffer from IUD's which can cause infections and perforated wombs amongst other things. I have nerve pain in my upper arm from a contraceptive implant (that caused me no end of side effects but that's another story.)
Most contraception is not without some risk of pain or side effects.

Here are a few Guardian articles cheering for vasectomy without calling out the documented chronic pain risks, as an example of the social pressures exerted upon men:

amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/oct/24/solder-on-we-need-men-to-keep-getting-vasectomies

amp.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2016/sep/22/family-planning-falling-behind-men-missing-piece-vasectomy

amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/21/men-squeamish-vasectomy-statistics-contraception

amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jun/24/man-up-guys-snip-vasectomy-women-contraception

I know I may seem extreme in my views, but over 5 years in with this and likelya lifetime ahead, my genuine belief is that vasectomies deserve the same treatment as the female Essure sterilisation coils have had, and should be withdrawn except in very limited cases where alternatives are largely exhausted.

Anyhow, I am off to chow down on some painkillers as it is one of the less good pain days just now...thus my ranting.

I am not here to offend, but think that the statistics need to be called out on chronic long term pain.

Did you consider non hormonal copper IUD?

Yes, but as i already suffer from heavy periods, leading to aneamia, it was not advisable for me.

Did you consider laparoscopic tubal occlusion

No. There are loads more risks involved with female sterilisation. Right from a tiny chance of death (from general aneasthesia or ectopic pregnancy) through to small but significant chances of serious injury to the bowel, or bladder, or a major blood vessel.

keepingbees

Who pressures all these men into having them?

Look at the 'my DH won't have a vasectomy' threads on here they are full of
'its his turn'
'man up'
'easy operation'
etc. etc.

My husband certainly wasn't pressured!

Good to know that he wasn't

We discussed it at length as a couple

This is what should happen keeping in mind all of the information should be shared. and 'my body my choice' should always be the deciding vote.

there are no comparative statistics are there, in terms of the overall % of something bad happening with female sterilizations vs vasectomies, long term use of various contraceptive options, long term complications following childbirth.

Do we think/know that > 10-15% of women suffer lifelong pain following childbirth from birth injuries?

That doesn't mean that vasectomies are ok, clearly there are problems there but you have to look at all these things as a family, especially depending on both people's risk factors, things they've already suffered on the reproductive journey.

We still need better options for men and women.