Sexist football chants

[TheMonkeyMummy]

DH and I have fallen out. He is lovely caring, big soft Geordie, and a big football fan. He took two DS 1&2 to watch the match today and they all had a great time.

An hour ago, he said to me ‘the English and Swedish fans are having a bit of banter. The English are shouting ‘You’re shit but at least your wives are fit.’ And the Swedes are replying ‘Go home to your ugly wives.’

I said ‘that’s quite offensive and rather sexist.’
He said ‘of course it’s sexist. It’s football.’

And so I replied ‘ok, so sexism is ok then. as long as it's funny? I guess there's a similarity between casual sexism and casual racism. As long as it’s a ‘joke’ and serves your agenda, then it’s ok.’ (DH abhors casual racism so I knew this would make him bristle.)

And it has just gone downhill from there. I have told him that I am disappointed in his reaction to my initial comment and I think he needs to reflect upon these chants/comments. He thinks I am being ridiculous as it's all just a bit of fun.

FWIW, I know it's an old chant.

Aibu to be upset that this is permitted behaviour?

I can only summarize that if you aren't part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem. I don't think there is a middle ground.

I am also failing to understand how you just don't get it?

I do "get it." I just see it as a bit of football banter chanting though. Maybe we need to start up some chants as women towards the men.....

Swede girls are pretty fit to be fair

The problem with 'it's just football banter chanting' is that what happens when a woman's out at the christmas party with a bunch of males and they start chanting 'you're fit and you know you are' or 'get your tits out for the lads'? Is it just laddish behaviour then?

It cant be more acceptable at football, but not in a bar, or at work. It has to be called out in every place that it happens.

It's not absolutely horrific (imo) but it's the thin end of a wedge, and it gives out mixed messages that somehow it's ok to do this in some contexts but not others.

@RainbowsAndSmiles so if it is just banter to you, then you don't get it. I am really bored with you now. I think you just like stirring. Have a wooden spoon. And you too @TheUnknowner

"if you aren't part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem"

If extremism itself had ten commandments, this would be the first one.

I liked the post before that where you basically signed off in recognition of the fact that we don't all have to agree. Much more sensible in my opinion.

I don't see people who disagree with me as a "problem", personally. The alternative is unthinkable.

If you want to see some sexist remarks look on the feminist site on mumsnet, or listen to woman's hour on radio 4 .
That should help you put this into perspective, works both ways.

Plenty of sexism in the world both ways, without doubt.

It's not a defence though.

@UneMoonit twist it however you want. I am not extremist. And with regards to sexism and racism, it's hardly an irrelevant point. I actually enjoy having coherent discussions with people of differing opinions. As @TornFromTheInside said, this isn't a horrific matter, but it is one that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Most of this thread has been a reasonable discussion but there have been a few posters who just seem to incapable of a reasonable discussion, just seem to want a reaction, and of that, I am tired.

Good night. 🌙

@RainbowsAndSmiles so if it is just banter to you, then you don't get it. I am really bored with you now. I think you just like stirring.

Oookay. I just have a different opinion.It doesn't mean I must be stirring as I think differently to you FGS.

TheMonkeyMummy

Good night. 🌙

Maybe we need to start up some chants as women towards the men
The problem with doing that is it confirms that banter like this is acceptable when it really isn't. It's all based on stereotypes and seeing women as objects.
This is a game of men's football yet it's the women's appearance that is being judged. That's not banter, that's blatant sexism.
If you want some banter, at least make it about the game.