Sexist football chants

[TheMonkeyMummy]

DH and I have fallen out. He is lovely caring, big soft Geordie, and a big football fan. He took two DS 1&2 to watch the match today and they all had a great time.

An hour ago, he said to me ‘the English and Swedish fans are having a bit of banter. The English are shouting ‘You’re shit but at least your wives are fit.’ And the Swedes are replying ‘Go home to your ugly wives.’

I said ‘that’s quite offensive and rather sexist.’
He said ‘of course it’s sexist. It’s football.’

And so I replied ‘ok, so sexism is ok then. as long as it's funny? I guess there's a similarity between casual sexism and casual racism. As long as it’s a ‘joke’ and serves your agenda, then it’s ok.’ (DH abhors casual racism so I knew this would make him bristle.)

And it has just gone downhill from there. I have told him that I am disappointed in his reaction to my initial comment and I think he needs to reflect upon these chants/comments. He thinks I am being ridiculous as it's all just a bit of fun.

FWIW, I know it's an old chant.

Aibu to be upset that this is permitted behaviour?

You sound rather naive OP.

I have told him that I am disappointed in his reaction to my initial comment and I think he needs to reflect upon these chants/comments. You sound like his Mum rather than his partner.

@PurpleFlower1983 absolutely no insecurity here.

I don't see why any form of sexist behaviour by the masses should be let go.

I agree op, but I disagree that casual racism is more unacceptable
BonnieF

Oh, FFS get a grip.

It’s just banter. Today’s game was played in very good spirit, with none of the ridiculous play-acting we have have seen from the South American teams. There is plenty of mutual respect between English and Swedish fans, hence the banter.

If you don’t understand football culture, piss off and go back to watching Eastenders and X factor.

@derxa how am I naive? (Genuinely curious).

And don't be goady. I am disappointed. It's the best word to sum up my feelings. Having an adult conversation is hardly behaving like someone's mum.

Lots of casual and intentional racism in football, Mumsnet and in real life

It's sexists and really horrible.

Your dh has the intelligence to grasp casual racism but sexism is just bantz, nice.

Men so often almost get sexism, until it compromises one tiny little bit of their life.

Always worth noting how angry people get when sexism is called out. I guess why that's why it's still so acceptable.

I don't understand why your DH mentioned this when he knows your views on sexist language. I'm surprised he was allowed to go and watch the match at all.

I think you need to put your kids in a bubble and never let them go to a match again. I love the football chants. Hilarious and bang up to date. I was dragged to a Liverpool game and Stephen Gerrard had just come out of court following the fight in a nightclub. The crowd were chanting the most hilarious stuff at him - even he laughed!

@chumbawumbawumba

You don't see the irony in this sentence. I'll give you a clue - "paddy". Not as woke as you think.

If you see it as being racist and not meaning tantrum. That's your issue not mine.

Unlike the football chants, my comment didn't focus on anything other than a descriptive word for behaviour.

As you were.

@derxa
Hahaha brilliant.

There's quite a lot of hyperbole and faux offence on this thread, and it ain't coming from the OP.

@bidsgottafly that is a good point, I didn't think of it that way because people don't really tend to think of women that way but when it comes to Wags the stereotype still clings on doesn't it? I'm still not sure you could call it sexist per se. Perhaps you could say that it is sexist in a narrow sense (in that female partners of footballers must have been chosen fir their looks) as opposed to a broad sense (in that all women are only of value if they look a certain way).

I find Swedish men so much more attractive than British men.
In fact most foriegn men are way more attractive than British men.
Maybe us ladies should start a chant of our own.

Even at my dd school common insults start with your mum.....
I pulled her up on it and asked why not use your dad....
She couldn't answer as sadly it's just seen as the norm and she's only ten.

@Racecardriver , you have never experienced treatment due to your appearance? Are you female?

Football is sexist? Who would have thought it?
At least you won’t go through the trauma of having to regularly pick up a DD trying to get home on match days, but unable to bear the train and the station full of leering, groping ‘Just a bit of banter you stupid cunt’ men.
Every fucking time.

@SumerisIcumenin yuck. Bloody awful and disgusting behaviour.

The irony of a poster calling herself GarethSouthgatesMrs criticising misogyny in football though

Whether this kind of sexism is bad enough to call out or not is one thing, but the misogynistic vitriol that gets heaped on anyone who does is quite another.

mobile.twitter.com/Haylescom/status/1015880820215689216

It's sexist. Just because it's passed off as banter doesn't make it any less so.
Even if something is funny (it's not), it's still sexism.

Football isn't sexist. A lot of fans are but not all.

I accept the fact that a non-sentient sphere is incapable of thoughts, including sexism. The culture surrounding football is, however, sexist from the earliest stages.

Hmmm I'm not sure.
I think it's rife with sexism, yes. I'd agree with that, but so is your average pub. So is the workplace. Sexism is rife throughout society.
In a predominantly male environment, sexism tends to raise its head all too easily, either through a feeling that 'amongst the lads, it's ok' (It's not) or some stupid assumption that being a 'man' is evidenced by how much sexism you can manage to exhibit.

The more it's called out, the better.

@themonkeymummy yes I am female, no I have never experienced unusual treatment because of the way I look but I would imagine that is largely because I look fairly average. Not remotely stunning but definitely not ugly. Or it may be because I am quite selective about the kinds of people I spend time with (certainly no football fans in my social circle).