Sexist football chants

[TheMonkeyMummy]

DH and I have fallen out. He is lovely caring, big soft Geordie, and a big football fan. He took two DS 1&2 to watch the match today and they all had a great time.

An hour ago, he said to me ‘the English and Swedish fans are having a bit of banter. The English are shouting ‘You’re shit but at least your wives are fit.’ And the Swedes are replying ‘Go home to your ugly wives.’

I said ‘that’s quite offensive and rather sexist.’
He said ‘of course it’s sexist. It’s football.’

And so I replied ‘ok, so sexism is ok then. as long as it's funny? I guess there's a similarity between casual sexism and casual racism. As long as it’s a ‘joke’ and serves your agenda, then it’s ok.’ (DH abhors casual racism so I knew this would make him bristle.)

And it has just gone downhill from there. I have told him that I am disappointed in his reaction to my initial comment and I think he needs to reflect upon these chants/comments. He thinks I am being ridiculous as it's all just a bit of fun.

FWIW, I know it's an old chant.

Aibu to be upset that this is permitted behaviour?

Sexism and racism are not vaguely the same thing to be fair. Football is inherently sexist being divided by gender, I imagine spectators at women's matches shout similarly horrible things.

Never heard of an English rose moreofaslummythanyummy?

YANBU - yet another reason I despise men's football & its fans.

YANBU.

@photographyaddict, just out of curiosity, why the biscuit?

'friendly football banter' my arse. This whole fucking tournament is an excuse for men to behave like neanderthal thugs.

Just hope they win to spare the ugly/beautiful wives the battering they get when they lose

YANBU, it’s sexist and unfunny.

Just hope they win to spare the ugly/beautiful wives the battering they get when they lose

I'm not even a football fan but even I can see the ridiculous, sweeping stereotype in that inane comment.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www-independent-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/world-cup-2018-england-matches-domestic-violence-surge-football-police-a8405871.html?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&amp&usqp=mq331AQECAE4AQ%3D%3D#referrer=www.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.independent.co.uk%2Flife-style%2Fworld-cup-2018-england-matches-domestic-violence-surge-football-police-a8405871.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">missed the statistics then then?

To play devil's advocate, I would point out that football chants can be horribly mean spirited in any regard. I don't follow football but do remember seeing a video a few years ago where one group of fans were making fun of another for setting fire to their own town (as well as then making fun of them for not having burnt enough). In that sense, they are not specifically misogynistic.

@Gronky !!!! What on earth?

YANBU at all OP. Saddened to see people on here defending it. Why should football be in any way connected with women’s physical attractiveness? It’s just a shallow excuse to objectify women. Until this kind of casual objectification is gone, women are still going to be discriminated against in all walks of life. Do you think that the sort of man who chants this rubbish really, deep down, doesn’t rank the women he encounters in everyday life at work and in wider society based on their looks? We should not accept it.

@RainbowsAndSmiles whilst the indisputable cause of domestic violence is horrid people and their fists, sadly, there is a strong link between football and domestic violence. But I also think that there is a link between all stress triggering (whether excitement or anger) events and the more vulnerable in our society.

Nonetheless, there has been a brilliant and thought provoking campaign that has gone viral.

www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/5a8677f8-58ea-44c8-a133-23ea2ae90abb

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/01/blaming-football-for-domestic-violence-is-only-half-the-story-eva-wiseman

@MoonFacesMum YES! Thank you

@TheMonkeyMummy I looked it up, it was Crystal Palace fans chanting at Brighton fans (search for, 'you burnt down your town').

@Mookatron

Years ago I had neighbour who sadly got a battering EVERY time rangers and celtic played and rangers lost when her arsehole DH came home.

@ParkheadParadise that's awful. I hope she managed to leave.

And this is why studying language and gender should be compulsory. Yanbu- and I usually think everyone is bu.

I always find it sad that casual sexism is seen as ok when casual racism isn't. Why is sexism accepted in a way that other kinds of discrimination and prejudice are not.

@TheMonkeyMummy

They are still together. I was in my early 20's and lived below them with dd. You could hear him coming up the street and you knew what was going to happen next.

Yanbu. I hate the whole judgement on women over looks. I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

Totally agree with you OP - another example of how women's worth is based on how attractive they are. I hate this crap being described as 'banter'.

I worked for many years in a justice type setting and sadly we would await the influx of DV cases arriving on our desks following Christmas and a big football event. Glad to see this is being highlighted through the recent campaign.

Oh, FFS get a grip.

It’s just banter. Today’s game was played in very good spirit, with none of the ridiculous play-acting we have have seen from the South American teams. There is plenty of mutual respect between English and Swedish fans, hence the banter.

If you don’t understand football culture, piss off and go back to watching Eastenders and X factor.

I agree with you OP, it’s reallt depressing. Previous posters want to bury their heads in the sand and not see this for what it is, misogynistic rubbish!