To ask this man if this child is his daughter?

[wildsummerdreams]

I just saw a man carrying a child (she 3-4) against her will. She was throwing a tantrum and trying to free herself. It would seem like a normal scene if you have kids, but I could not help but think the worst, so I followed them and ask him if he was her dad. He stopped (good sign) looked at me and when he realised what I was thinking, told me to not be ridiculous. I asked the child directly if that was her dad, but she kept on crying. Then they wen off and he continue to carry her against her will. I watched them for a bit and took a picture of them just in case. Please tell me I'm not a total nutter and what would you have done or what to do if something like this happens.

The girl didn't have any shoes on and they were crossing Kentish Town high street.

Tbh OP I don’t mean to pile on but all you’ve done is a nothing action really isn’t it? You’re none the wiser and didn’t help
A potentially kidnapped child.

But, you did look like a bit of a nutter and I have to say my husband would've been devestated to be stopped like that.

Just seen someone upthread has mentioned it sorry.

SomebodysNotInBedYet, are you in Scotland by any chance?

X post sorry. Terrible thing to have happened.

Why are people saying the OP did the right thing? She didn't do anything. Ok, she took a photo but If I had genuine concerns for a child, I would contact the police immediately. I wouldn't wait until some harm befell the child and then say, 'I was so concerned I took a photo but didn't notify anyone' Weird.

Charolais it's very interesting to read about your bi- racial child when I have been on threads where you have been deleted for you racist comments

This has reminded me of the Jamie Bulger case where the people who saw him crying with the boys felt guilty they didn't stop them. It doesn't hurt to check if you think something is not right.

This.

timeisslippingaway I can see the funny side to it now, but at the time it used to nerve me, though if i told him to stop hed do it more .

op I think you did the right thing and is allways worth getting an earful or looking silly.

OP

Woth respect, you sound (and are demonstrably) a "complete nutter".

It must be exhausting being you. Do you take photos of every person with a screaming child? Or is it just men?

What do you do when you see a toddler crying in the supermarket?

You acted the way you did because you saw a MAN with a child and associated him with being an abuser because of this.

Stop trying to justify your sexist actions by thinking that most abusers are men. Because this means that the other 99% who are not, have to put up with this shit from people like you.

If a man approached you as you were carrying a screaming child and took a picture of you what would you think? I absolutely guarantee you would accuse him of being a paedophile. So how are you any didferent? Approaching strangers, asking about their kids and taking photos of them without the parents permission.

You're very very lucky you havent been assaulted or arrested by now.

This kind of shit is why men wont help kids who are in trouble. A toddler died a few years ago because the man who saw the kid on the road by themselves didn't stop in case someone like you saw him. That kid was found dead in a pond a few hours later.

You are nuts!

Charolais,
I have to wonder why you were being stopped so often? How often were you shouting at your son in public? For him to "decide" you were not a good mother because of this is a bit strange.

You did the right thing. It’s definutely worth upsetting someone to follow your gut in this situation and be wrong..

High stakes aren’t they.

When was a child last abducted in this manner?

Someone said if everyone did what op did it would result with less abductions happening in similiar circumstances

You did the right thing, and as a parent I wouldn't be a bit offended if someone questioned me if my child were fighting and screaming as I was trying to go to my car (or whatever).

Chances are if an abductor is questioned by a bystander, they're going to let that child go ASAP as they would know that someone has their physical description (and possibly a photo).

In the early 90s a child abduction was stopped in my town by mall security seeing a man leading a distressed child. As they approached and called out to him he dropped the child's hand and ran for the nearby exit.

Charolais Pleas accept my sincere apologies. I think I may have confused you with another poster with a very similar name

Bloody hell you sound crazy

I think about poor little James Bulger all the time. Thats exactly what I thought of when I read this post. The story haunts me. Like a PP said the people that witnessed that innocent little boy being taken and the despicable events which took place after, probably struggle to live with the guilt of not stopping those boys. I known I would. Then perhaps they are just glad they didn't look silly or offend anyone by asking any questions.

38 people reported walking past James Bulger and those boys. Saw him crying, saw them kicking him. One or two stopped them, but accepted their explanation of what was happening. We're all too quick to assume that either everything is OK, or because it's in a busy place someone else will intervene.

I carried my two year old daughter out of gymnastics yesterday screaming as she was being a dick!
God help me if I’d bumped into you eh?

I was abducted as a child, I had been gone for around 8 hours when two women passed the car I was in. I’m not sure why we had pulled over but they’d noticed I didn’t look ‘okay’.

They banged on the window and asked to speak to me, I was told not to speak etc but they could clearly see I was not alright.

If it hadn’t of been for those two ‘nutters’, I’m not sure if I’d have ever gotten back.

Right well I'm just gonna say, if this kid had been being kidnapped then the op would have never forgiven herself, the worst thing that's happened here is that the op has offended a bloke who's kid was kicking off. Hopefully.

I went on safeguarding training today and interestingly this was talked about by the trainer. She said that they are trying to raise more awareness to get the general public in questioning children's behaviour in public.

There was a case years ago (Victoria Climbe) where many professionals failed to join the dots (of consistent abuse) and it was only a taxi driver who picked up on it, rushing the girl and her abuser to the hospital (against the abusers will). Unfortunately it was too late and she died.

The trainer said it's important that the public feel comfortable approaching people more when things may not necessarily clear cut. She gave an example of a tantruming toddler in a supermarket and that she had a colleague who approached a mum and simply asked if everything was OK. This may be a better approach than suggesting abduction.

I don't think the OP was wrong to do something, but maybe a different approach may have been better. Difficult when you're on the spot though.

It is illegal to take photos of other people's children! Also your post is crazed. If you were really concerned go to the Police.

Think you were right to say something. What a lot of people haven't mentioned was your spidey senses that something was a little 'off'.
It doesn't sound like you enter into these things lightly or regularly and it took guts to do. Trust your instincts.

Yeah in situations like these, 99 times out of 100 it'll all have been fine and you'll feel like a tit and people like many on this thread will flame you. But history is littered with people who would have died if a passer-by hadn't intervened in some way. It's rarely clear from the outset when it's one of Those Situations.
I'd have done the same as you.

@TammySwansonTwo
Oh yes, the poor men, always getting the raw deal

You cant have it both ways! men get crucified for doing the easy jobs ie baths and swimming and for running away from the tough tasks, maybe his partner is dead or they ve split up or she cant cope?
If the OP equally confronts women too, then fair enough.

Child abduction is incredibly rare, toddlers being taken even rarer, confronting every parent whose child is having a tantrum is irrational behavior.

Better safe than sorry

charolais I'm sorry you had that experience. I would still want members of the public to act in a concerned way, though. Not excusing racism - it shouldn't be done more often based on colour.