To ask this man if this child is his daughter?

[wildsummerdreams]

I just saw a man carrying a child (she 3-4) against her will. She was throwing a tantrum and trying to free herself. It would seem like a normal scene if you have kids, but I could not help but think the worst, so I followed them and ask him if he was her dad. He stopped (good sign) looked at me and when he realised what I was thinking, told me to not be ridiculous. I asked the child directly if that was her dad, but she kept on crying. Then they wen off and he continue to carry her against her will. I watched them for a bit and took a picture of them just in case. Please tell me I'm not a total nutter and what would you have done or what to do if something like this happens.

The girl didn't have any shoes on and they were crossing Kentish Town high street.

I'm always amazed that people don't pay more attention. Whether or not the OP wouldn't have said anything to a woman tbh.

lasttrain If you suspect something is wrong then the right thing to do is intervene. Yes you might briefly piss off an innocent adult but surely that's better than an innocent child being abducted because someone stood there humming and hawing and questioning themselves.

boss if your child was, God forbid, being dragged off somewhere by a stranger and someone intervened do you think they should be told to fuck off. When do you think someone should intervene?

People keep saying you intervened but you didn’t do anything to help the child. Yes, you questioned but it was left at that.

Posted too soon

If you were concerned enough to snap a picture, you could have phoned the non emergency police number.

You do realise as a black mum of mixed daughters who are very light I get this shot all the time

People even say are you sure your the fucking mother

I think you did the right thing. If anything had happened to that child, everyone would be saying, 'people saw him with that child, she was obviously distressed and yet nobody did anything. Broken Britain!'

Even questioning could make an abductor lose his nerve. And taking a photograph could help a missing child be found quickly.

Absolutely the right thing. People are too scared to intervene for seeming “silly” or annoying people. A few more busy bodies a few less dead kids.
because often they don’t know the ducking context of the situation and jump in without a fucking clue

Metoo the op didn't march up to someone whose child didn't look like them and start asking questions. She intervened because a child seemed distressed.

Why are you trying to equate the two?

You felt something was off and you were pretty brave to intervene.
Hopefully if something bad was happening the bloke would have done a runner when challenged.

The context, metoo, is that a child is being carried away screaming.

Well done Op !
"and of course as pp's have said, women are not in general the huge problem for children's safety that men are. This is why men need to stamp on male violence"

What on earth are you on about boss?

Yeah you might have looked like a total nutter and your instinct was wrong on this occasion, but what if you were right? If you'd asked me I'd have been furious but once it had passed I'd have probably been glad that someone cared enough to check the child was safe.

I did the same once OP, we was in a park and a man picked up a little girl who let out a blood curdling scream and the wouldn’t stop kicking screaming and trying to escape his arms. I felt I couldn’t let them go without checking so asked and he showed me a picture of him with her his wife and other daughter who had also been at the park but left (for the toilets I guess) a few minutes before. He said she just doesn’t want to leave the park but thanked me for caring and looking out for her. I would’ve done the same if it had been a women.

I don’t think you did the wrong thing, surely it’s better to check?

For what it’s worth I think if you have any sense of something being a bit off, it’s better to ask questions than regret it later.

I was always amazed at the people who would happily watch me having to restrain my daughter without question when she had an episode. If they’d have asked, I would probably have asked them to phone the crisis team for me and welcomed their concern for her welfare.

I saw a small child walking along the beach on his own one night last Summer. I followed him and questioned him and he eventually pointed up to his parents on the cliff path. Apparently they had said he could walk down on his own to where his cousins were. Did they attack me for intervening? No. They were actually amazed and delighted that someone would care enough about their child's safety to get involved when they thought something was amiss. That used to be a normal reaction. Now some people are so busy jumping on the defensive all the time, regardless of whether someone is actually showing concern for their child, that soon everyone will be terrified to intervene no matter what their instincts tell them.
Sad world we're creating.

I would’ve done the same if it had been a women

No, you would nt, because you are far far more likely to see a woman with a kick-off child than with a man but you intervened because it was a man.
I ve been on the receiving end of this crap from do gooding women after my partner died and it sucks, when i lived in Sweden, i did not get this sort of shit because they have genuine gender equality.