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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you want to teach your daughters?

121 replies

Gigis · 04/07/2018 20:19

Had a friend meet dd for the first time today. Friend is very strong, independent, brilliantly opinionated woman - I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her! She says she inherited it from her dad, he taught her to "expect to be respected, not just hope for it". It got me thinking- if you could only pass on one piece of advice/one lesson to your daughters what would it be?

Mine would be to be kind to people. Boring, but I truly believe that most other positive personality traits can stem from just being simply kind to others.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 04/07/2018 20:19

Just three words.

You are enough.

dontticklethetoad · 04/07/2018 20:21

To say 'no' confidently and unapologetically to things that she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Gigis · 04/07/2018 20:21

Oh I like that!

OP posts:
Gigis · 04/07/2018 20:22

Agree with saying no when she's uncomfortable. So, so important

OP posts:
Strawbroke · 04/07/2018 20:22

That she doesn't deserve to be made to feel bad about herself by anyone.

Rachie1973 · 04/07/2018 20:22

I was going to say 'The offside rule' because it amused me.

But really, I just want them to be happy in their own skins, and not try to behave differently to suit other people.

RefuseTheLies · 04/07/2018 20:23

To be comfortable and happy with her body and not give a fuck about beauty standards.

cherrytrees123 · 04/07/2018 20:25

A sense of their own value Think for yourself and dont; follow the herd. Dont let men treat you like shit. Expect to be treated well and don't tolerate anything less Choose your friends carefully and cherish them . Aim high and dont give up.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/07/2018 20:26

That they're amazing.

Squatternutbosh · 04/07/2018 20:26

Another vote for saying no when uncomfortable. I will never force my dd into any situations that I know she’s not ok with (as my own mother did to me). I want her to speak up when she disagrees and not feel like her voice doesn’t matter (as I now feel with my DM).

MammaSchwifty · 04/07/2018 20:27

What would I not educate her in? Housework.

I will teach her:
-the importance of perseverance and determination

  • the importance of learning at least one foreign language
-money, budgeting, investing, compound interest, and the importance of being financially solvent and having your own money -to be interested in the world around her so that she can find her own interests and passions -how to cook
MammaSchwifty · 04/07/2018 20:28

Oh just one thing! Sorry! Probably the importance of perseverance and determination then.

corlan · 04/07/2018 20:29

To be decent, honest and hardworking, but they don't have to be 'nice.'

nevisbump · 04/07/2018 20:29

To be happy in her own skin and she can be anything she wants.
My mum and gran obsessed over diets when I was younger making it the norm for me to never be happy with my weight, I don't want to pass that onto my daughter

AuntLydiasSteelyArmPitHair · 04/07/2018 20:30

I want my daughters to be assertive, inquisitive, determined, self sufficient and to know their own true value. But above all, I want to teach them how to be happy.

FirstShinyRobe · 04/07/2018 20:30

That it's OK not to be seen as "nice". Allied to that - to recognise when appeals to female socialisation are made to their detriment.

TheBigFatMermaid · 04/07/2018 20:31

When someone has been rude to you, it is ok to be rude back!

So many of the thread on MN would not xists if people love by this.

So, when an older lad tooo DD to the 'den' and started saying he wondered what boobs frlt like, DD said she had to get home for tea and ran, this is when I fist started telling her this. She should have just said 'F off', it would have been entirely appropriate.

The lady who has a neighbour going into her MILs garden, it really is ok to be rude, she has been rude first.

All the CFs expecting lifts to work forever, without contributing so much as a litre of fuel, just ask them for money or tell them no, they ave been rude first....

Shitting man thread, the OP was fairly direct, some might say rude in dealing with a man rude enough to use her toilet, so it sorted it.

See...........

SmileEachDay · 04/07/2018 20:31

That they don’t have to squish themselves into the societally acceptable box. That nothing is out of reach. That sisterhood is important. That laughing is really important.

TheBigFatMermaid · 04/07/2018 20:32

So many threads on MN would not exist if people lived by this*

BlackeyedSusan · 04/07/2018 20:32

That she does not have to conform to gender stereotypes and she can make her own choices and have her own likes and dislikes without being thought of not a proper girl.

Notevilstepmother · 04/07/2018 20:32

Being kind is ok, but not at her expense. Too many girls are kind to men that don’t deserve it. Your friends Dad had it right in my opinion.

Notevilstepmother · 04/07/2018 20:33

When someone has been rude to you, it is ok to be rude back!

Exactly.

ThistleAmore · 04/07/2018 20:33

To say no, and mean it.

Being polite is nice, but it's not necessary: if somebody is getting in your space and you don't like it, you can say no HARD.

Also, buy good (but not necessarily fashionable) clothes when you can afford it: you'll get a lot of use out of a good winter coat.

LondonerRose · 04/07/2018 20:34

To never rely on a man for anything, always hold your own.

To treat people how you would like to be treated.

To work hard for what you want.

To not give a shit about what anyone thinks of you.

The list is endless Smile

NewYearNewMe18 · 04/07/2018 20:34

Earn your own money