Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you want to teach your daughters?

121 replies

Gigis · 04/07/2018 20:19

Had a friend meet dd for the first time today. Friend is very strong, independent, brilliantly opinionated woman - I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her! She says she inherited it from her dad, he taught her to "expect to be respected, not just hope for it". It got me thinking- if you could only pass on one piece of advice/one lesson to your daughters what would it be?

Mine would be to be kind to people. Boring, but I truly believe that most other positive personality traits can stem from just being simply kind to others.

OP posts:
eggsandwich · 04/07/2018 21:34

You can achieve anything if you try.

Be kind and compassionate to everyone unless they give you cause not to.

Believe in yourself.

Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions.

yerbutnobut · 04/07/2018 21:36

I tell my DD to just go out and be the best version of herself and to own what she says, to not be told by anyone she can't achieve something.

skankingpiglet · 04/07/2018 21:36

To be happy in yourself

To be kind

A love of learning

How to stand your ground

(I have 2 DDs, but suspect this list wouldn't be any different if I had a DS TBH)

MitchDash · 04/07/2018 21:37

To forgive herself for her mistakes and for not being perfect (she is to me). She is so hard on herself and expects a level of perfection from herself that she asks of no-one else.

Theworldisfullofgs · 04/07/2018 21:38

That she is amazing and clever and can do anything.

And the line in Jerry Maguire is a lie. No one completes you. She is complete in herself, there is nothing missing.

By all means meet a partner in life (And I hope she does) - and if they are right they are a compliment not a completion.

MargaretCavendish · 04/07/2018 21:39

I think it's interesting so many people say the 'you can achieve anything if you try' idea - I grew up with parents and attending a (all girls') school that pushed this message very hard, and I don't think it was great for my or quite a few of the girls I knew mental health - I definitely have a deep sense of failure/guilt at not achieving more. Having said that, we have all been relatively objectively successful, so in that sense it 'worked', and I can absolutely see the appeal of that message if you grew up feeling like no one ever believed in you or encouraged you.

busybuildingdens · 04/07/2018 21:39

That she doesn’t need anyone else to make her happy. She is enough.

TheKnackeredChef · 04/07/2018 21:41

To always carry a spare tampon which you're prepared to give to anyone who needs it in an emergency. Somebody else will always do the same for you.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 04/07/2018 21:47

Trust your gut.

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 04/07/2018 21:51

There's a few things I'm hoping my DD will learn from us:

  • that she can do anything if she really has the passion and determination to see it through.
  • to be independent and not rely completely on others
  • to know that it doesn't matter what someone's skin colour, religion or sexual preferences is, you still show them and give them the respect you would want to receive.
bluetrampolines · 04/07/2018 21:53

To enjoy life. Every delicious moment.

Original poster
Gigis · 04/07/2018 21:54

@isleep interesting that you questioned my friend's dad's advice. I think I too always thought respect was earned. However I have a very good friend who works a demanding job in a male dominated industry and I know that she had to work at least twice as hard to earn the same amount of respect as her male co-workers. None of them were called 'sweetheart' in staff training Hmm. I think a good balance would be being aware that respect can grow (I.e. being earned) but that fundamentally my daughter can expect to receive the same amount of 'starting' respect as anyone else, male or female. She can then cultivate more through her actions.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 04/07/2018 21:57

Right now- that they don't have to get involved when there's "beef" in the "squad".

EnglandKeepMyBones · 04/07/2018 22:18

Respect should be freely given. Disrespect is earned.

distantstars · 04/07/2018 22:19

Saw these recently and was like YES! ....

What do you want to teach your daughters?
ragged · 04/07/2018 22:20

2 be less selfish, honestly. Not to ride so roughshod over people.

Teaandbiscuits35 · 04/07/2018 22:22

That she is worthy. (So difficult to believe when bullies have drilled the opposite into her) 💔

Tobebythesea · 04/07/2018 22:31

That no one is better than her and she is not better than anyone else.

Keepittenten · 04/07/2018 22:40

Self respect above all...respect yourself!
Don’t let anyone live in your head rent free.
You will meet people you just don’t like...not because of anything they do...be polite and minimise your contact with them.
Realise the importance of education, travel, expanding your possibilities in life...looks fade and money comes and goes, what you have in your beautiful mind,is yours to retain.

Have fun...have all the fun (This I tell DD daily)

arethereanyleftatall · 05/07/2018 17:52

Do not place your self worth on your looks. you'll regreT it when you're 40

saratustra · 05/07/2018 17:57

Be both kind and assertive. These don't exclude each other.

MsBeee · 05/07/2018 18:07

The thing I so wish had been passed on to me is.

No is a sentence. No explanation, no apologies needed for saying No.

Other peoples feelings are not more important than violating your own boundaries.

HairDyedPink · 05/07/2018 18:28

I am teaching mine that they should never be ashamed of being female but should own it and make the absolute most of it. We are not biologically equal to men, but we have the same opportunities and are just as strong.

Yuckyuckdandeliongood · 05/07/2018 18:44

To say no and not feel guilty. That no ine really gives a fuck what you look like. So dont worry just do you

RayneDance · 05/07/2018 22:53

Lots of things but for this thread I choose what I am banging on about right now.

That's pointing out the language in adverts directed at teens for spots... How it's trying to tap into their insecurities... The words and why they do it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread