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Original poster

What do you want to teach your daughters?

121 replies

Gigis · 04/07/2018 20:19

Had a friend meet dd for the first time today. Friend is very strong, independent, brilliantly opinionated woman - I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her! She says she inherited it from her dad, he taught her to "expect to be respected, not just hope for it". It got me thinking- if you could only pass on one piece of advice/one lesson to your daughters what would it be?

Mine would be to be kind to people. Boring, but I truly believe that most other positive personality traits can stem from just being simply kind to others.

OP posts:
bluemascara · 05/07/2018 22:54

I want her to love herself, believe in herself, respect herself, work hard and love life

PostcodeJack · 05/07/2018 23:04

Dont have daughters but I'd hope I'd advise them to be happy

Snappedandfarted2018 · 05/07/2018 23:06

I would tell my dd to live a little explore what life has to offer and don’t just tie yourself down with boyfriends enjoy your youth before settling down. You never get that time back again.

NowApparently · 05/07/2018 23:07
  • She is loved and respected
  • To love herself
  • No means no, no matter what the context
  • To be empathetic
  • To work hard but also know there is more to life than your job
  • There is fun to be had in learning
  • To be able to think for herself and not afraid to voice her opinion
  • She is stronger than she will ever know
  • To never settle for what she feels is mundane and mediocre
KERALA1 · 05/07/2018 23:16

Dh drummed into ours if someone Is unkind to you walk away. He is more black and white than me - both girls (primary age) have dumped friends for persistent unkindness. Hope they carry this on into their relationships with men.

Echobelly · 05/07/2018 23:18

I'd pass on a good bit of wisdom from my mum: 'There's a price to pay for being different, but it's worth it' (she is turning out to be an idiosyncratic little soul)

NinkyNonkyPinkyPonk · 05/07/2018 23:38

I have three girls, the advice for them because of their characters would be different:

My eldest is too nice a girl, she's very reluctant to stand up for herself, and gives away her last supper to keep people happy. It's a lovely sweet trait, but I'd tell her that she can say no, and that she doesn't have to make other people happy all the time, it's enough that she makes herself happy.

My middle girl is much more fiery and doesn't stand for any nonsense, she'll be told not to allow others to bully her into the societal image of being female. That she can be who she is and that there's nothing wrong with that.

My last is a baby, so still with a forming personality, she'll need the be yourself advice given to my other girls though I'm sure.

Missbrick1 · 06/07/2018 00:23

My dad really emphasised the below

Treat others how you would like to be treated.
Work hard & do your best.
You can be anything you want to be.
Don’t take shit.

Nofilter · 06/07/2018 00:24

Anything is possible, there are no limits to life...

Missbrick1 · 06/07/2018 00:41

And my mum taught me

to keep my independence
that I can question authority, ie don’t just take my top off because the doctor says so.
individuality is a good thing.

I think the most important thing is instilling your messages frequently & consistently through your own actions.

cherrytrees123 · 06/07/2018 17:53

Do you know, I have just realised... my mother taught me nothing at all.

Motherbear26 · 06/07/2018 21:02

My dd is intelligent, unashamedly confident and self-assured, funny, a true feminist, believes strongly in equality, doesn’t suffer fools and stands up for what she believes in. She is also 9 years old. She has taught me more that I could ever hope to teach her.

bandthenjust · 06/07/2018 21:07

Just fucking do it.

And if you do, and it goes wrong, I've got your back.

bandthenjust · 06/07/2018 21:08

I love this thread btw

icebearforpresident · 06/07/2018 21:18

You do you.

Everyone around you is obsessed with the same boy band and you want to listen to rock and roll? Do it

Everyone else is going out in the latest clothes and made up to high heaven and you want to kick about in jeans and converse? Do it.

You want to stare at the stars all night while your friends go out to parties? Do it.

Esentially be your wonderful, freaky self and don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. That was me when I was 16 and I really wish I still had that confidence.

Taffeta · 06/07/2018 21:20

To be herself

If that means standing out from the crowd and being different then that’s ok

She doesn’t like the limelight but age 11 is inwardly strong and hugely resilient and confident in her choices

I’m very proud of her on many levels

Luglio · 06/07/2018 21:26

'A man is not the prize of a woman's life'.

Can't remember which MNer came out with that one, but she absolutely fucking nailed it.

bobstersmum · 06/07/2018 21:27

To enjoy her youth and beauty! I spent my 20s trying faddy diets and worrying I didn't look nice, in late 30s now and would absolutely love to look like I looked then!

postcardsfrom · 06/07/2018 21:31

Don’t worry about pleasing people. Be kind. Don’t be afraid to speak up and out. Say no when you want to say no. Laugh. Tell jokes, you are funny. It’s almost always about the other person, not you. Play a sport, keep playing it, sweat. Enjoy sex, you’re suppose to. Read.

Taffeta · 06/07/2018 21:34

Re the kind thing

My DS isn’t kind naturally, my DD is

So I speak to my DS about it a lot more than I do my DD

anitagreen · 06/07/2018 21:40

To be able to not worry if she is enough. My daughter now is very confident and able to tell me if she's not liking something and finds it easy to make friends and I love that about her. I also want her to be able to say no freely and without worry

Original poster
Gigis · 06/07/2018 21:44

Loving all the suggestions, I'm going to use them a lot with my little one. My husband suggested re the 'kind' think that he thinks being kind to others is important, but being kind to herself is more so.

OP posts:
SamPotatoes · 06/07/2018 21:45

Respect is earned. Both for yourself and for others. And you don't earn respect being an arse who takes advantage of people or by being an absolute pushover or pretending to be something you aren't to curry favour.

Pick a partner. Someone who will work with you to achieve shared ambitions.

DieAntword · 06/07/2018 21:49

To neither seek nor shun respectability but live for the good, the true and the beautiful instead.

EstrellaDamn · 06/07/2018 21:51

That the people closest to her love her the way she is.

To get back up if you get knocked down.

That nobody can tell you you're not something.

That the school mean girls will be nobodies in her life later.

Kindness. Taking care of herself and not expecting others to do it for her.

To love reading because it means you can visit any life you like.