To think a leaving gift of a 3 course lunch for every teacher and staff member is a bit OTT?

[goldenlight]

My eldest DS is currently in year 6 and will be moving on to secondary school in September. A few of the yr 6 mothers discussed setting up a plan for all the yr6 parents to club together for a group thank you to the staff, which I agreed to contribute towards in principle as I imagined they were talking about a few drinks at the village pub or perhaps an informal ploughmans lunch. Now it transpires that the meal will be a 3 course affair for all the teachers, as well as the TAs and the secretary. They are asking for a contribution of £15 per parent which is just not affordable for us. We are already having to pay for a 'compulsory' school trip, as well as uniform for our 4 children and the usual additional school summer holiday expenditures, as well as our DD's birthday next month.
TBH I hadn't been planning on giving a present at all. I personally feel a handwritten, heartfelt thank you from a child is worth more to a teacher than a gift anyway. The trouble is if i refuse, I'll look mean and stingy and it will raise the cost for the other parents.
AIBU to not want to contribute to something on this scale? Any suggestions on how I could handle this?

That is excessive. Vouchers for meals for 2 for the year 6 teachers would be a lovely gesture but all of the staff in the school??

When is this going to happen? Who will cover the school whilst they go? Or is it at the weekend or holidays?

Socialising with colleagues in your own time is not a gift that many would want.

Look mean and stingy. Tell other parents and they can look mean and stingy too, and the very silly idea can quietly die.

I agree zeeboo. This is what i had originally imagined.

I think it will happen after school.

It’s too much.

I hate the trend for ever more grand gifts for teachers (and I am one).

You are absolutely right that abhand made card/personal message is absolutely lovely. End of term crept up on ya this year so the teacher got a bottle of plink and a standard thank you card. She will drink the plonk and the card will get recycled. I know however that i have treasured little things which have been given which are of little or no financial cost but emotional value

So yes - sorry. Stick to your guns and if people judge then they are arseholes. I strongly suspect that many staff in the school will be uncomfortable about the cost of this gift

Ludicrous. I would feel embarrassed to be given a gift like this.

I mean I’m not a teacher but in a work environment

Thanks Passmethecrisps. Nice to hear a teacher's perspective.

As a teacher I find this well meaning but over the top.

What if staff just want to go home after a day at work? What if they have children to collect? What if they don't actually want to socialize with colleagues?

Not a very good idea. And far too expensive.

I'm a teacher.

I would HATE this!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please, for the sake of those poor teachers, say that you think it needs reconsidering.

I work with excellent colleagues who I love dearly, but this is NOT a gift that they want.
I'd rather they spent that kind of money on the school than a stupid meal.

An end of term present should not be more time with your colleagues.

Generally people organise their own end of year drinks/meal if they want it.

I would hate this.

Yes!! If the parents are desperate to show their appreciation, the cash can go to a piece of much wanted equipment or something lovely for the playground - a tree maybe (that might be daft but, something along those lines)

I do like my colleagues but I have a long commute and two small children of my own so I would be unlikely to benefit at all from this gift

It’s far too OTT.
I’m a ks1 teacher and I love to receive little pictures and notes from children and families if they’ve enjoyed my class. No need for anything else.
When chocolate and wine and vouchers are long gone, I will always have a drawer full of these sentiments to look at when I need cheering up!

I don't generally approve of these big collections for teachers but if it's £15 and you've covered all the teachers and TAs you might otherwise have bought for that doesn't seem too bad to me. Although if you can't or don't want to, don't

At one school I worked in, I’d have really not wanted to go out for a meal with the other staff and I’m certain it’d be difficult for them to find a night they were all free on.

Also, £15 is too much to ask.

Very good point noblegiraffe and the idea of a tree or something to last at the school is a really good one passmethecrisps

Agree the actual present idea is terrible

“Socialising with colleagues in your own time is not a gift that many would want.“
This

Just tell them that you can't afford it. Tbh it would never have occurred to me that £15 would be unaffordable as a once off or once a year expenditure. Better than looking stingy.

Racecardriver - on its own you are right, but when you add it to all the other things to budget for at this time of year I feel it is too much.

There was a similar thread recently. I'm sure people were saying that there is a limit on the value of gifts that teachers can accept. Please someone else tell me that I didn't just make that up (if I did, I blame the heat)

As a teacher, my school would have been horrified at that present. TBH we would not have all wanted to go. Probably 30 out of 120 staff would have gone.It is over the top totally. A big box of biscuits for September teas and coffees would be better or a couple of nice cakes delivered in September at the start of term would be more appreciated.

Another teacher who really wouldn't want this. I mean, I'd be very grateful, but as I've said several times recently, a card/picture by the child is so much better. And £15 is way too much.