Wedding day....England are playing?????

[arghhhhhhh]

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

My cousin had his wedding during the world cup several years ago (too young to remember who England was playing at the time and what point it was in the competition), they had it showing in a separate room and people watched it on and off during the reception, it was all fine. Everyone still sat down and enjoyed their meals, everyone listened to the speeches and the other important bits and really are you going to notice a few people missing during the dancing and so on?

Yeah good point PP, its going to seriously ruin the mood if England lose...

Wow the poor woman.

I cant believe so many would miss a wedding to watch tv!!!

I assumed (wrongly) on mumsnet that people wouldnt be suggesting showing a match at a wedding. I think that wpuld be truly awful. Id hate it if it was my own wedding and if I were attending Id feel ever so awkward. Half drunk guests screaming at the tv wouldnt be ny idea of a decent weddding!

I attended a massive wedding, no expense spared. It was in Ireland and Ireland v Someone was on around 4pm or something. The whole wedding emptied into the hotel bar to watch it because the bride was adamant she wasn't providing big screens. At one point I went back into the wedding and no joke, there was about 8 people sitting around including the bride.

Then the wedding guests were settled in at the bar so nobody really drifted back into the wedding after the match either. Including her dad and the groom.

She would have been far better off to embrace it for the 2 hrs out of the whole day, because her wedding would have been on hell of a party if she did.

That bride is going to regret trying to ban the WC. And I say that as someone who could not care less about the WC.

3pm is a bit of a tough one really, for us that's about the time speeches at dinner were starting, I wouldn't have been too impressed mid speech for someone to forget where they were and shout either "fucking hell" or "get in" (depending on what had happened), because they were glued to their phone. Also what happens if it goes to extra time, and then penalties? No ones photos last that long, and at some point something is going to be happening where guests should be a) quiet and b) paying attention.

But if a and b don't apply, then watching on phones or live updates shouldn't be a problem really. The only thing about having a seperate room for a telly is if the majority of your guests all piss off into there for a good couple of hours the bride will feel a bit abandoned and left out, of a day she's put a lot of thought and money into. Like if you had put something together for people and then they all left you for a better offer, it would hurt. And if the groom decides to join them then...ooo errr!

That said, our daughter's naming ceremony is Saturday and we're putting on the first half of the game at the party venue. But that's a small hall with some sausages on sticks and the entertainment long finished with, not a big bash.

BarbaraofSevillle
The wedding could have been booked a year or two ago. Would it have occured to anybody to think about the World Cup or any other sporting event when setting a date? Doubt it.

Erm, yes. From the moment we got engaged I knew the wedding could only be in the June or July of an odd-numbered year, to avoid the chance of a clash with an important game.

3pm is a bit of a tough one really, for us that's about the time speeches at dinner were starting

Yeah it totally depends when things are happening. Most weddings I've been to though had the ceremony kind 1/2ish and then the dinner/speeches did start till atleast after 5 so 3 would slot neatly in between

Classic. I'd make a point of deliberately asking other guests if they no the score or sit proudly on my phone checking and giving updates to whoever asked

She only gets one wedding day, and this way it will be one everyone always remembers, rather than blurring into everyone else's. Most weddings are boring as hell apart from the speeches and the dancing.

She needs to remember she's a party host, first and foremost.

I feel quite sorry for her - I wouldn't have thought England making the quarter finals was likely enough to plan around either! I do think if it were me we'd show the match (but in a separate space so that there was also a 'non-watching the football' party going on, if at all possible), but I'd resent it. And if they're having a late-ish ceremony or dinner starting before 5 (and one or other of those is very likely) then it probably is going to ruin the wedding a bit. As people have said, there's also such a big chance that England will lose and it'll ruin the atmosphere. It is going to be quite a big drag on a day she's probably spent a lot of money on - she could have phrased it more politely, but I don't think it's unreasonable of her to be upset about it.

I don't think people are suggesting that the bride is wrong to be a bit fed up at the clash. It's just that the football WILL be happening, and lots of people will be desperate to watch it live. It's really unfortunate, but banning people from even checking the score on their phones is likely to cause a bit of a negative atmosphere.

One can care greatly about a wedding and the couple involved, whilst still wanting to watch the football. World Cup quarter finals just don't happen very often. I'm not a football fan at all but it's just unrealistic to expect the whole day to be a 'football free zone'.

As football bores me to death I'd be extremely pissed off if I was the bride. But kind of stuck with it probably or risk having some guests not come.

The screen thing is a difficult call because there's the issue of what happens if England go out and it puts a dampener on everything. I do see why she might not choose to do that. She is, however, indisputably on a hiding to nothing with the world cup free zone stuff and she'd do much better to get over that asap. She's storing up anger for herself otherwise.

but banning people from even checking the score on their phones is likely to cause a bit of a negative atmosphere.

Yeah this part is totally U and very controlling thinking she can tell people that they can't look at their phones ffs

I can't believe folk are saying she was daft for picking a day during the World Cup. Newsflash: not everyone cares about football and/or England!

But I suppose it does depend on the timing. If ceremony is at, say, 1.30pm then the match could be shown whilst photos being taken before meal. If ceremony is 3pm then tough luck to the guests. And as someone else said, if England lose, as they probably will, then everyone is going to be on a downer (which is also pretty pathetic).

Erm, yes. From the moment we got engaged I knew the wedding could only be in the June or July of an odd-numbered year, to avoid the chance of a clash with an important game.

This would never, ever have occurred to me (though I suspect my family would have pointed it out if we'd tried to book the wedding on a likely football date). Neither of us care nearly enough about football for it to figure in our planning like this. Which would potentially have been another problem if this had been our wedding - I suspect about half our guests would have wanted to watch, but about half would have found it really tedious if it had been on. Trying to please both would have been really difficult - and I also suspect it would have highlighted some divisions between my family and his that were best papered over!

I might consider a TV if it was the semi or actual final but not for a poxy QF.
It's not like watching it will change the score.

I would be fuming!! Who honestly wants a football match to interfere with the happiest / most expensive day of our life??? And I quite like football.
Tbh it would be completely irrelevant to what I wanted! My husband would insist it was on so I would just try to alter the times to fit it in. Not ideal at all 😕

I can understand that she is gutted that her wedding is going to be very different from how she imagined and planned. I think most people would be pretty upset but it is what it is and she needs to reconcile herself with that some way or other if she isn't going to have her day spoilt. This is not the way to do it.

If she really wants a football free day then she's going to have to say can anyone who is going to watch the football not attend at all, or attend until x time when they can then go to the pub or not arrive at the wedding until x time after the football and please let them know.

If the reception is in a hotel with a lounge bar separate from the function room with a tv then I think she should just 'permit' people to wander back and forth a bit.

but banning people from even checking the score on their phones is likely to cause a bit of a negative atmosphere.

I actually think people checking/watching on their phones is the most annoying option - it's basically just as distracting as actually having the match on, but at the same time really antisocial.

The number of people in my life whose weddings really properly matter to me, enough to miss something very important to me, is about ten: just my close family and closest friends. I suspect that a lot of people are similar. If you’re having a wedding at which only those closest to you are present then you can feel free to ignore the World Cup and assume that your wedding should be the most important thing in their life. But if you want aunties, cousins, old school friends and workmates to be there too, then you need to be aware that it may be your only wedding day, but it’s one of twenty weddings they’re invited to this decade and missing it is not a huge deal.

She clearly has no sense of occasion

Oh, the irony ...

The situation is what it is though, and maybe it's a case of "know your guests". If the match is later I'd probably try to sort some kind of viewing area, but if it's during the actual marriage I'd personally want all phones handed in just for that short time

Hopefully those with enough taste not to watch a match during a wedding won't mind ... and if any argue/storm off/whatever, it's perhaps fair warning of what might have happened if they'd been present

I got married on cup final day
Had people coming and going from room to room to watch the match
Some people didn’t turn up on the day because football was more important
I hate football and I’m totally with the bride here
It’s gutting that all that work planning a wedding was Ruined

It's not daft for picking a day during the world cup if it didn't occur to you. It's absolutely idiotic if you did know that the world cup is June-July every non-leap even year, but I don't suppose the couple did. A shame nobody around them picked up on it though. I feel sorry for them, and also for the guests who would like to watch the game and to attend the wedding and aren't going to be able to fully enjoy either.

Why the message about a 'men's football' match? The players may be men but I would be gutted to miss Saturday's match.

If it was my wedding I'd send a message saying, we've made arrangements for it to be on and make it part of the party. But I'd include a strongly worded message about everyone staying with the spirit of celebration and not to let any disappointment carry on past the end of the game! Our friends would be absolutely fine with that and wouldn't dream of spoiling a wedding but it depends on your crowd I suppose.

At least it would be memorable and not blend into all the others. Really I love my friends but don't spend a whole wedding celebrating them and contemplating their love!!