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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wedding day....England are playing?????

910 replies

arghhhhhhh · 04/07/2018 15:11

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 05/07/2018 12:41

Shock onlyliving - both at the story and that they managed to find at least one person that defended the idiots!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 05/07/2018 12:45

I think this thread shows that there are loads of people who would probably argue that those women did nothing wrong or rude at all and that in fact, the theatre were in the wrong for daring to put on the production when they did - didn't they know that the World Cup is on and the rest of life should come to a screaming halt for it?!

I am just so glad that the actors didn't pull any punches in their tweets afterwards.

JacquesHammer · 05/07/2018 12:51

I think there’s a bit of a misconception on this thread.

I would want to know the score. I wouldn’t dream of sitting at a reception scrolling through my phone. I’d excuse myself to the loo, or check when there’s a gap in proceedings (last wedding I went to we had an hour waiting at the reception venue whilst the wedding party went to a landmark for photos. I read in our room whilst DD had a nap)

I know enjoying football and not being an arsehole isn’t popular with a certain MN contingent but it’s possibe!

JacquesHammer · 05/07/2018 12:52

And the women in the theatre were massively rude. Check score in the interval? Absolutely fine. Watching during performance? Total dick move.

GameOfMinges · 05/07/2018 12:56

Nah, the two things would have to bear some actual comparison to each other for this thread to show any such thing. The people at the play should've not gone, and taken the loss of the ticket prices themselves unless they could sell on. There isn't an issue of upsetting the actors if you don't go or of them being out of pocket.

Also, this is a bride who is telling people what they can talk about at the wedding. It's full on bridezilla. There is no way any bride would get anything other than a roasting for trying to ban people from checking their phones at any time during the day on here usually. It's rude as fuck. Some of you have just allowed the fact that you agree with her dislike of football to get in the way of recognising that.

specialsubject · 05/07/2018 12:57

the whole sacred dick-brick culture and 'I want it now -waahhh!' business is so so childish.

want to watch tv? fine, watch tv. but not in the theatre.

signal blockers needed and anyone found with the phone on - out with no refund and a bill for the disruption.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/07/2018 13:10

It's also deeply sexist. Weddings are presumed to be women's passion.

The juxtaposition of these two sentences made me smile. The whole bridezilla thing does women no favours at all.

The women in the theatre behaved very badly. They should have left or not gone to the performance at all. Bit different from standing around at a wedding reception passing the time while the bride and groom have their 900 photographs taken by looking at your phone.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/07/2018 13:15

This sounds like an episode from The Likely Lads

I wondered if anyone else would remember that!! Grin

Good news that the ceremony at least doesn't clash with the match, but if I wasn't already busy I might have gone to stand outside my local church on Saturday. It seems there's a wedding at 2.30 and the vicar - who's old school and has views about phone fiddling during a religious service - has arranged for his curate to stand outside removing phones before the guests go in

Should be fun ...

MargaretCavendish · 05/07/2018 13:32

It seems there's a wedding at 2.30 and the vicar - who's old school and has views about phone fiddling during a religious service

I love the suggestion here that it's a bit fuddy-duddy for a vicar to think that people shouldn't be on their phones during a religious service. It is apparently a bit unreasonable for an actual man of the cloth to think that God is more important than football...

JacquesHammer · 05/07/2018 13:33

signal blockers needed and anyone found with the phone on - out with no refund and a bill for the disruption

That would be ridiculous though and prevent anyone who maybe needed to be contactable being able to go to the theatre. But then I find those sort of people don’t really expect a refund and don’t disrupt everyone else.

The people at the play should've not gone, and taken the loss of the ticket prices themselves unless they could sell on

This absolutely. I’m seeing some talks at an event on Saturday. I had booked four, I’m foregoing the last one and coming home to watch the football.

Rachelweasel · 05/07/2018 13:38

I'd be so pissed off/upset if my wedding guests cared more about a GAME than my wedding. I wouldn't want it on at my wedding either, it's their day and why should they? You'd see peoples true colours though. IT'S JUST A GAME! It doesn't change anyone's life and it's incredibly selfish if people didn't go so they could watch it. They've already paid for you to be there, don't be a prick.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/07/2018 13:45

For most people, going to a wedding involves spending a large sum too, Rachelweasel. Travel, time off work, accommodation, childcare, new clothes, present, possibly part of the drinks bill.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/07/2018 13:47

I love the suggestion here that it's a bit fuddy-duddy for a vicar to think that people shouldn't be on their phones during a religious service

That honestly wasn't how I intended it to sound, though it's my fault if I put it badly ... it was really just meant to be an account of how the vicar himself feels. After all it's his church and his decision how to run things (which seems to be pretty well, going by the size of the congregation)

Possibly they find it refreshing that at least someone's prepared to make a stand against rudeness and selfishness?

letsdolunch321 · 05/07/2018 13:52

We were at a wedding Tuesday this week - England were playing. There were two ipads for the 1st half these were turned off for the 2nd half & some guys kept an eye out on what was going on with the fames via there phones.

My oh my when they got through the atmosphere was amazing.

I guess this was an evening game compared to an afternoon game. Depends on time of wedding etc

arghhhhhhh · 05/07/2018 13:52

@Rachelweasel what @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g said. Weddings aren't cheap for anyone - including the guests.

I also disagree with your 'it's only a game' comment.

To you it is. To others it's much more than that. If you don't like football then you won't understand. This is a hell of a big deal to a lot of people. The bride needs to open her mind to the fact that yes she hates football - that's fine. But to others it's the opposite. She may not be able to see it but that's the way it is.

Everyone has different likes/dislikes. They won't all make sense to you.

OP posts:
arghhhhhhh · 05/07/2018 13:54

I think if we were still at the group stages, some maybe more understanding. But to get to the quarter finals and actually have a pretty decent chance of getting to the final....you've got no chance of expecting football fans not to at least check their phones.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 05/07/2018 14:01

if it is a big deal then choose and dont go to another event. no one is objecting to people liking football, but it is not an excuse to be rude.

bit saddo to be in front of the tv on a sunny weekend if you spend all week in a smelly hot dark office, but it is a choice.

Rachelweasel · 05/07/2018 14:01

I don't know how to reply to specific people sorry. Gasp0de, if you've already said you're going then you've agreed to paying that cost. If people now didn't turn up, that's selfish. Bride & groom can't get the money back.

ReanimatedSGB · 05/07/2018 14:02

It might also depend on which guests are tediously, childishly obsessed with men chasing balls about in a field. If it's your immediate family, you are likely to have been aware that it might be an issue, or had a bit more than a few days' warning. If it's some workmate's new boyfriend, or a couple of cousins you see about once every couple of years, then it's more annoying to have them trying to dictate terms at your wedding. As with other wedding issues where there is a request/demand for something specific to be catered for, it's more reasonable to say 'No, and if you don't like it, don't come' if it's something hugely annoying or inconvenient you're being asked to do for the sake of one guest that you hardly know.

WishIHadntLooked77 · 05/07/2018 14:03

Whatever your personal view on football/World Cup significance, I think the bride would be better off accepting that the match is happening and catering for anyone who's interested in some way - and I say that because now she's sent out this missive about not checking phones etc, she'll likely be paranoid on that day that guests are 'disobeying' - spending the day watching for offenders.

JacquesHammer · 05/07/2018 14:06

bit saddo to be in front of the tv on a sunny weekend if you spend all week in a smelly hot dark office, but it is a choice

I would be inside anyway. Why is it “saddo”?

It might also depend on which guests are tediously, childishly obsessed

Nothing like a tedious, childish obsession Grin

Rachelweasel · 05/07/2018 14:07

Arghhhh, I know to some people, it's a massive deal. i get that. If you've agreed to go to someone's wedding though, you should honour that commitment. If that person isn't that important to you then I guess you wouldn't.

Wouldn't bother me about people checking their phones though because they can do that from the table etc but I just get where she's coming from with regards to having a TV showing it. I assume it would be a different room to the reception and people would just watch the game and ignore the rest of the wedding.

Most of my family are obsessed with football but I know that if it was my wedding day, they'd miss it. Family is more important.

PrimalLass · 05/07/2018 14:15

Rachelweasel Most people go to weddings because they are invited and it is a fun event, because they will get a nice meal etc., and to wish the couple well. Expecting people to care enough that they stop caring about other things important to them - well that's just unrealistic.

ReservoirDogs · 05/07/2018 14:26

But but IT's Coming Home!!!

ReanimatedSGB · 05/07/2018 14:35

I'll be quite happy once the English men's team have lost on Saturday, as they invariably do at some point. Because at least the worst of the tedious wall-to-wall coverage will be over.

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