Wedding day....England are playing?????

[arghhhhhhh]

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

RiotAndAlarum

Good post!

I doubt that anyone will just have a sneaky silent look at their phone!

The thing it won't just be guest that want to watch the match. Most of people working will want watch too. If you are not going to show a few people might turn up for work .
Cab driver might not want come out either.

I think the B2B (and a lot of posters) need to get to grips with the actual situation. There are people going to this wedding who really, really want to watch the match, rightly or wrongly, and will be pissed off about not being allowed to do so.

I think B2B should put a big screen up to be honest. She already sounds so wound up about it that she's going to lose the plot completely when people inevitably disappear to watch the game elsewhere, or stay glued to their handsets. She can't lock people in and make them hand over their phones so she's setting herself up for a fall.

Reanimated Is there any evidence that invitees have made threats and demands?

I have a barbecue organised for Saturday at 2pm, to which I invited people a couple of weeks ago. It's slowly dawning on me that there might be some among them who think it's football related. It's absolutely not, the only time football raises any kind of emotion in me is the irritation when I hear or see a clip of an 'important' bit of a match on the radio or tv and I quickly reach for the off switch.
I never mentioned the football when inviting people, and I don't 'think' any of them are fans, but it will be really interesting to see what happens. We have crap to no mobile signal, and only one TV which is in the living room - with no plans to extend the bbq indoors beyond the kitchen/dining room. There are only 12 or possibly 14 invitees so not a huge gathering. I've just mentioned all this to dh and he's not bothered about watching it. He'll find out who wins after the fact and any 'good bits' will be relayed incessantly for the following week.

There's nothing to spoil, it's only a bbq, if anyone wants to watch football they'll have to go home (all local). It's certainly not going to take over a day I've organised. The tv will stay off.
This bride, though, must be gutted. However it goes, football will have ruined her wedding day. And I realise that some football fanatics will see it as her wedding ruining their day if they don't get to watch it live. I'll never understand it though.

The thing it won't just be guest that want to watch the match. Most of people working will want watch too. If you are not going to show a few people might turn up for work

Are you seriously suggesting the the bride and groom should put on a screen not just for their guests but for the staff of the venue that they're presumably paying a lot of money?! I've never been to a wedding where staff were so numerous and underworked that they could have paused to watch a football match without giving seriously shit service.

She can't lock people in and make them hand over their phones so she's setting herself up for a fall.

Maybe she is and undoubtedly it will be painful for her but there will be one positive, she'll know who she actually matters to. From there she can cull the people who rate a game over their relationship with her...and if that includes the groom then she'll be able to act accordingly.

Anybody who is willing to throw a strop over not having access to two groups of people fighting over an inflatable (of any shape or code) to the point that they'll mess up a wedding they chose to attend, frankly need a priority reset.

Oooooh tricky. I’m not a football fan and I find all the “COME ON ENGLAND! VINDALOO!” stuff seriously cringe. But, if I was be B2B, I’d probably show it. They’re her guests. She’s meant to be hosting them. They aren’t just mannequins / extras / an audience for her big day. So she definitely needs to find a grip imo*.

*but then, I’m not English
**but then, I was a fairly laid back bride - I know everyone says that, but I genuinely was, second hand dress off eBay, let bridesmaids pick the style of dress they wanted and how they wanted their hair and make up done, wedding car was my dad’s old sports car blah blah

Is there any evidence that invitees have made threats and demands?

We don't know about threats, but the bride was clear that multiple people had asked that the match be shown, which is both demanding and incredibly rude.

I also don't know why a lot of people are assuming the groom wants to watch. He didn't veto the date, after all. I mentioned this thread to DH last night and said I'd show the match but be a bit sad about it and he was absolutely horrified - he said he wouldn't have contemplated having a football match on at our wedding and he'd have been furious if anyone had suggested it. And yes, I've checked pretty recently and he's definitely male - not everyone's a walking cliché!

To the B2B, it's clearly an important day, to most of the guests it will be one of several weddings they'll have been to and won't be that important. To some, the chance to see England through to the semi-finals of the world cup is far more unique than a wedding.

It's bizarre to conflate wanting to be able to follow score updates on your phone with not caring about the bride and groom.

And there's no more evidence for the back story some of you have invented about the bride being emotionally blackmailed and demands being made than there is for the idea that a couple of people politely enquired and been perfectly happy with the response, but the bride has entirely over reacted. They're both possibilities given what OP has told us, but some people are allowing their dislike for football to lead them to invent things.

Update: One guest has replied he understands the no football but he would appreciate it if she could realise that football is a massive passion of his. He understands it's not for her but for him it's a massive deal and he will be checking the scores. He also put they will of been married 3 hours before it starts so he doesn't see why it's a problem.....so I'm guessing the ceremony is at 12. And....he also asked what her h2b thinks seen as he's massively into football also......

Her fb post has caused quite a stir. Some supporting comments but the majority not I have to say....though I do feel this is down to her attitude and not the fact the football isn't going to be shown.

• the football can't be helped.
• she's got guests who love the football (think soon to be dh may be one of them) - can't be helped.

End of. She can either throw her tiara out of the pram or she can just deal with it and not let it spoil her day. The only person that will be spoiling the day will be the bride herself.

I wish I could screenshot the actual fb post but I know I can't do that....

Her fb post isn't nice in all honesty. She could of made it lighthearted but to the point that she doesn't want the football on.

But she's come across and extremely rude and demanding.

Like I say, I got married last year. I understand the pressure it comes with totally. Me and dh actually had something extremely important stolen from us the day before our wedding by an actual guest. I spent the night before my wedding talking to the police and it messed up so many plans.....we had to post something on fb but we made it light hearted. Jokes were made in the speeches about it. It was the talk of the day....but there was no way I was letting it spoil my day.

You've got to pick your battles. Wether you let something spoil your day or not is up to you.

Put this into perspective. If there is a TV or screening of the match, most people will carry on with what they're doing, watch now and again, miss the goals and just join everyone around the match to watch the replay. If the bride is considerate enough to allow it to be screened, only a few would be rude enough to sit glued to it for the entirety of the match, and they will just be the odd uncle, a few blokes in their 20s and 30s and a bunch of ten year olds and early teens. The bride can circulate and talk to them later. And if the ceremony clashes with the match, the she can dig her heels in and ask that they watch her and not England during that time. A good compromise all round will make everyone happier.

And we now know the ceremony won't clash with the match.

Wether you let something spoil your day or not is up to you.

Totally agree. I think she’s made a maaaive blunder here and there will be a tense atmosphere / tears on the day. Yikes.

An acquaintance of mine had a wedding a big hotel. She arrived at the ceremony room to find half her guests had gone out because a very famous band had appeared in the lobby and they all wanted to have a gawp / get their autographs! I wasn’t there but apparently it was awful as she was so upset and angry for the rest of the day. Tears, the works. Poor woman. To add insult to injury, the hotel gave the bridal suite to one of the band members, so she got downgraded to a different suite. Annoying, yes, but it totally ruined her day for her, which is a shame. If she’d cared a bit less it probably wouldn’t have ruined it iyswim.

If her husband is really into football then he is an idiot agreeing to a wedding this weekend. The people suggesting close family members and best friends could refuse the invite in case England were playing were very clearly in cloud cuckoo land, but he could and should have checked.

One guest has replied he understands the no football but he would appreciate it if she could realise that football is a massive passion of his. He understands it's not for her but for him it's a massive deal and he will be checking the scores.

So he doesn't actually understand at all, does he? What he's saying is 'I'm going to pretend to be reasonable but actually I'm going to completely ignore your wishes'.

@RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb oh no.....though I have to say if they were my wedding.....I'd bloody love it lol. I'd be out there with the other guests getting selfies. How cool would that be to have a famous band in the same hotel?

The only thing I'd be annoyed at is the downgrade of the room....however I'd also be so so tired by the end of the night, I'd just want a bed.

Maybe it's just me, I would of loved that....and I love football also....Im the complete opposite of the bride in question lol.

Most important thing for me would be marrying the love of my life surrounded by family and friends :-)

Hee hee. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday and I know for a fact that tons of the guests are raging about it. If it were me I'd show it - I'm not a football fan but it's will give a good atmosphere (unless we lose) and people will watch it anyway. Not sure what they're planning on doing.

@MargaretCavendish I think what he's saying is 'you can't tell me what to do'

By 'threats' I didn't mean that anyone was going to give the bride a kicking if they weren't allowed to watch men's football during her wedding. But if there were people saying they wouldn't come unless there was a television provided, I can see why she would have got angry. No-shows at short notice are infuriating because it's a wasted meal and a waste of money for the bride and groom. Someone refusing to come to your wedding because they want to watch men's football is going to be pretty hurtful and upsetting.

I'd tell the mardy cow to shove her wedding up her arse frankly.

Most weddings are shit boring and I certainly wouldn't be dictated to as to whether I was allowed to check the football score during the wedding or not.

And if I'd been the bride in the band-at-hotel scenario I probably wouldn't have minded guests wanting to look at the band - and might have asked for a selfie with them, too. But I would have been angry at having my booked room downgraded because someone more famous than me showed up.

Checking the scores on his phone against the utterly rude wishes of someone who thinks they get to control their guests conversation is reasonable. I quite understand the feelings about showing it on a big screen, but it isn't the person who wants to use their phone like, you know, an actual adult who doesn't want to be treated like a child in detention who's being rude here.