Wedding day....England are playing?????

[arghhhhhhh]

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

We still don't know what time the ceremony is at! That's killing me, because if timed right it could work --- while Bridie and Groomie are smiling and grinning for the photographer for a long while, the guests can either watch the match or get hammered on prosecco or whatever would happen in the hiatus anyway.

The timing of this ceremony is very important needs to be told!

Drinking, eating, dancing, laughing, usually with family and friends. I know people on MN like to claim that the best ever wedding they had was in a hole in the ground where everyone drank lemonade and ate dirt, but I like a good indulgent one with the canapés and champagne!

@Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname England's colours are white and red. The blue in the Union Jack is for Scotland. You know - the Union - of more than just one country, not just your England?

Drinking, eating, dancing, laughing, usually with family and friends.

Apart from dancing, that can all be done while the game is on.

It is incredibly rude to presume someone will rearrange their wedding day plans to accommodate something they are not interested in.

It's also deeply sexist. Weddings are presumed to be women's passion. Football is more popular with men than women. And here we see a majority arguing that the thing seemed to be more important by women, should be pushed aside by what is more important to men. It's pretty horrible to read on a predominantly women's board.

Its also not even like this is the final. If England wins, then there will be another match and all the diehard fans can watch that one. They've already had the chance to see the earlier matches in the tournament. And it's not like winning this match means actually winning anything. It just means another match. There would be a slight difference in my opinion I think if it were the final.

I think the guests are horribly selfish to impose their wishes on the personal, individual day of the bride and groom.

I would be deeply hurt if people at my wedding day cared more about a sporting event.

sycamore if anyone’s being sexist, it’s you. It’s not just blokes who watch the World Cup. My work was cleared out on the dot of 5pm on Tuesday because everyone had gone home or to the pub to watch it. This woman needs to accept the fact that a lot of people will want to watch the football with a good grace.

Tbh I totally get her. Football winds me up. I can feel my blood pressure rising by the second if I’m forced to listen to 3-4 grown men analyse how another bunch of overgrown (usually tax dodging ) grown men ran around the field kicking a ball. I can save the guests the trouble here’s what will happen on Saturday before the game bunch of grown men will get very excited talking about how it’s our best chance since 1966 to bring football home, theyll be several computer animations of grown men standing on a field, talk will move to who we’ll play next if we win. Roll out of several random historical facts. Enter blokeswho run around a field holding kids hands at least 3 of them will spit and not know words to national anthem. Blokes will run round field chasing ball. Men on our team will be fouled, fall over, commentators will worry about the impact of their chipped nail on their future career all because the other side played dirty. Men on other team will fall over, faking it, deserve to be sent off. They’ll be discussions of the offside rule (possibly one of the most straightforward rules in sport) our side will never be offside any goal scored by opposition will be. Referee will be heavily biased to other team. Some goals will be scored or maybe not. There will be one of two results we will win or lose! Men will show more emotion about those 90 min than the rest of the year towards their families. Life will continue. So no need to watch it. If people think the above is more important than someone’s wedding day they need to give their head a wobble. Ironically Gareth Southgate will be dressed as a wedding guest (albeit a 5 year old one dressed in a waistcoat cos there’s no need waste money buying a jacket)

Men's football is simply irrelevant to a great many people

So true.

I was living in London during some big football thing.

This was 20+ years ago so blockbuster were still renting out VHS.

I went to rent a movie on the day of a big match because there were only 5 channels and 3 were showing sport.

Blockbuster was full of people and empty of films. We were all trying to get away from football.

Not everyone is interested, a lot of people who do watch are watching because it's on and one or two people in the family are watching.

2/3 of the population didn't watch the last game. OK some people would not be able to due to work or other commitments bit it is still a minority watching the game.

This woman needs to accept the fact that a lot of people will want to watch the football with a good grace.

Oh no she absolutely doesn't. The dates were announced 3 years ago. She didn't send out the wedding invites before that. True football fans didn't need to accept a wedding invitation for a Saturday in July 2018. Anyone that accepted the wedding invite needs to accept her wishes.

Even just the sound of the footie sets my teeth on edge. I think though in this case I would concede due to the sheer domineering force of football fans. Squeaky wheel and all that.

The thing is, however persuasive some of you find your explanations as to why guests are just going to have to suck it up, back in the real world the bride has about as much chance of enforcing a no football zone as she does of having angels fly out of her arse. People are going to ignore being told they can't check their phones or talk about unapproved topics, because that's as implausible as it is unreasonable.

Bride is not under any obligation to show the match, but it is in her best interests not to get into a battle she's not going to win about people having conversations she doesn't like. She would be better advised to think sensibly, rather than have strops on FB.

The bride can like it or lump it, assuming there's wi fi or a data signal at the venue, the match will be watched by guests.

Because I bloody hate football. With a deep, abiding, fiery passion and I would rather remove my eyes with a blunt spoon than watch 10 mins or 'enjoy the atmosphere'

I tend to agree with this.

thing is, there are recorder boxes. in this house we watch f1. if something else is going on we record it, turn off the car radio and then watch on our return.

admittedly we are not phone addict saddos - put it away, you are socialising.with actual people!! thats the tragic bit, that no one.can turn the brick off and look up.

No chance would I put a soccer match on during my wedding.

Thankfully, where I live, we aren't as rabid a set of fans as they seem to be in the UK, and I highly doubt anyone would expect a screen to be rolled out so they could spend over an hour of my wedding watching sport.

I agree with not having it shown at the wedding, but to stop them from checking o their phones is a bit much. There is time between the ceremony and the reception and then the reception and night do, no idea what time the footie starts, that they could check the score on their phones without being disrespectful.

The bride can like it or lump it, assuming there's wi fi or a data signal at the venue, the match will be watched by guests.

If ever there was an argument for a localised signal jammer...and some better friends (you don't get to choose your family!).

I wouldn't watch it on my phone but I would normally check the score occasionally, when I remembered. The refusing to even allow people to do that is what would hack me off and make my excuses to no longer attend.

There is a middle ground between playing the match and refusing to let people even check scores and talk about it among themselves.

That 5-1 win over Germany was obviously a popular day for weddings as I was at another one where it was on a radio and the score rippled through the event, it really didn't detract from the wedding at all if anything it brought together a very diverse range of people.

It's a case of who can wind up the other most. I can see why it might be perceived as inappropriate to want to watch the match at a wedding, but to impose the restriction on phones is taking things too far the other way.

It really didn't detract from the wedding at all if anything it brought together a very diverse range of people.

Similar when my DH organised an impromptu sweepstake for the Grand National when it was on the same day as a friend's wedding.

The emotional blackmail here is off the scale!

• It's the bride's why the bride? She's the one who complained on FB, but presumably her husband-to-be had some say in the date fault, for not checking, for not knowing, for not expecting friends (and family?) to be like this.
• Football has to be allowed, or they won't come/ or they will sulk and punish the couple/ or they will sneak off and do it anyway.
• Guests should just be provided with a screen (as well as everything else the B&G have paid for and have planned)
• Guests will use the screen (and drink the wine and eat the food, and shout over all the speeches/ music/ conversation that others are enjoying) until their important engagement is finished.
• the B&G have to suck up their hurt and anger at this treatment, otherwise they (well, mostly she, because she's the only one who seems to have called this out) are miserable and joyless and have no right to be so. If the football fan guests are gutted after a bad result, their feelings are of national importance. They certainly are not obliged to suck it up and be pleasant to others. On the contrary, they must be pandered to, and may slope off home anyway because they can't be happy for the friends/ family getting married. Nor can they be bothered to be pleasant to their fellow guests.

Admittedly, I'm conflating many responses here, but, really, any one of these points is rude, and wrong, and selfish. Also, the correct response to emotional blackmail is "Fine. Do, and be damned!" No-one needs "friends" like these!

I'm really, really with the bride on this. I'd be incredibly upset about the pressure she evidently experienced before she put up the FB status, and it's entirely understandable of her to hit back!

RiotAndAlarum - your post is another example of why MN needs a 'like' button!

Oh, and of course no-one can be prevented from following the match. This isn't the Cold War, with radio jamming of Voice of America and the BBC. However, there is such a thing as an internal censor, called good manners or maybe friendship. The bride was talking wildly (and in vain) of banning because her guests have already shown how weak their own censors (good manners and friendship) are. It's really sad!

Oh absoutely. I bet that FB status was a result of having experienced a mass pile on of whining and demands and threats that the wedding would be wrecked if people weren't allowed to watch television/have their phones out all the time/completely ignore everything but men's football, because of course men's football is more important than other people's feelings.

Oops, cross-post @Andro! Thanks, though I'm glad I'm not alone and other posters have spoken persuasively!