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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wedding day....England are playing?????

910 replies

arghhhhhhh · 04/07/2018 15:11

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

OP posts:
chocolateworshipper · 04/07/2018 20:17

The dates for the 2018 World Cup were released 3 years ago. I sincerely doubt she sent out the wedding invites before that, so anyone really bothered about football has absolutely no excuse for accepting a wedding invite on a Saturday in July 2018. THEY can suck it up and watch the match after the wedding.

DogStrummer · 04/07/2018 20:18

I'm at a relative's wedding on Saturday. Ceremony starts at 3pm Sad

I might suggest some minor tweaks to the service, that might help out with the running order.

Hopefully there'll be a TV set up for people to watch the last 40 mins or so.

MargaretCavendish · 04/07/2018 20:18

She has to suck it up and get involved.

Again, if this were my wedding I'd show the match, but this is such a nasty attitude - that she should 'suck up' something she doesn't want on her wedding day - and I can't imagine anything other than football where people would have this attitude. If this is the kind of message she's been getting I can see why she wants to dig her heels in.

chrisinthesun · 04/07/2018 20:23

I don't know who is more dumb - the bride and groom for booking a wedding during a world cup tournament and now kicking off because people say they won't come if they don't show the match. Or the guests for accepting the invitation, and now moaning about it, and saying they won't go to the wedding if the footy isn't shown.

And to the people trying to make out no-one is interested in the World Cup; do stop talking shit. You can hate footie as much as you like, but to deny how popular the world cup is and the fact that the majority of the people in England are very excited about is just bloody daft, and makes you look a bit foolish to be honest.

The amount of good feeling and euphoria across England right now is phenomenal. Stop being such miserable and negative mood-hoovers. I would hate to be like this. It must suck to be you. Lighten up FFS. Hmm

CheeseTheDay · 04/07/2018 20:26

And to the people trying to make out no-one is interested in the World Cup; do stop talking shit. You can hate footie as much as you like, but to deny how popular the world cup is and the fact that the majority of the people in England are very excited about is just bloody daft, and makes you look a bit foolish to be honest.

Agreed. I think the viewing figures prove the level of excitement!

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 04/07/2018 20:26

Just unlucky we didn't finish top otherwise we'd played the Friday and all been fine.. If we'd got that far and a. Just not worked out that well. Unfortunately.

Happygummibear · 04/07/2018 20:28

It was the euros when I got married. England were playing. I asked the venue to put it on the tv behind the bar with the sound down..it didn't affect the day and as the bar was in the room it meant people didn't disappear.

Not a huge football fan but it's just one of those things.

cadburyegg · 04/07/2018 20:31

I’m a bit Hmm by this thread.

neither DH or I watch football or have any interest in it whatsoever. Wouldn’t have even occurred to us when booking our wedding date to check if it coincided with the World Cup! It’s ok for people NOT to be interested in football or have any clue when it’s on, you know.

I don’t think she is being unreasonable at all.

Andcake · 04/07/2018 20:42

Not a football but got married on an fa cup final day where basically the 2 teams had a lot of fans in the congregation.

One partner of a friend didn't make it to the ceremony...my brother refused to wear the colour button hole I chose and wore one in his teams colours...sigh...

Anyway reception had no tv but we allocated a pub...sent men and 2 girls there..adjusted big group photo slot...

Men arrived more bonded and a pack than if had just been hanging out at reception...my cousin who knew no one before seemed to know everyone afterwards 😀

Tbh I hate football and the fact that nothing that female dominant stops the world annoys me. And yes I know some women like football

littleemma1 · 04/07/2018 20:43

Couldn’t resist commenting on this!!!
I’m getting married at 4pm on Saturday and we’ve openly told guests that they can watch the second halves on their phones during the ceremony 🙈
Most people think we’re bonkers, but I think it will be amazing and so memorable if England score!!!

Orlandointhewilderness · 04/07/2018 20:44

. If people go with an open mind you never know, and they might enjoy it. Even if you don't enjoy the football how can you fail to enjoy the atmosphere?

Because I bloody hate football. With a deep, abiding, fiery passion and I would rather remove my eyes with a blunt spoon than watch 10 mins or 'enjoy the atmosphere'. Just because YOU like it, don't expect everyone else too!

thewindupmerchant · 04/07/2018 20:48

OMG @littleemma1 you aren't THE Emma from the radio/newspaper are you?!?!

RavenLG · 04/07/2018 20:53

Orlandointhewilderness

Exactly!

The "why would you even book your wedding on that date?" comments are ridiculous. Football is so far removed from mine (and DP's THANK GOD!) lives it wouldn't occur to us to check for a bloody football game!

I can see where the bride is coming from. I'd rather have the people there, but how 'there' are they even going to be? I can imagine the bride is feeling a bit dismayed that her closest friends and family care more about a game than her. Which is a bit sad in all honesty. Imagine someone not coming to your wedding because they wanted to watch the tennis?! I'd grin and bear it, stick a tv on mute and have music playing or something but I'd not be too happy about it.

keyboardkate · 04/07/2018 21:04

Any news on the time of the ceremony? I skimmed back but may have missed it.

That would be the key really. If it is at kick off time, it could be a problem, but if earlier it might be ok.

I would definitely allow guests to watch it if it does not interfere with the ceremony. Most guests are just hanging around getting pissed after the ceremony while Mr. and Mrs. go off for an hour or two to get their amazing photos done anyway.

So those not into football can still stand around bored out of their brains, while those who like it can watch it!

I bet this is not the only wedding affected. Timing is everything as they say!

Orlandointhewilderness · 04/07/2018 21:06

yep I feel for her raven. really do, it wouldn't even cross my mind to check sporting fixtures!

GameOfMinges · 04/07/2018 21:06

problem is, it's happening, nothing bride can do about it. she just has to weigh up whether she'd prefer to facilitate folk watching it, or have a load of absent or resentful guests talking about where they would rather be.

Yup.

This is why all the posts saying people are rude and will just have to/ought to ignore the game are missing the point. However much anyone thinks they ought to, they won't. People's views of whether that's bad behaviour or not don't actually matter.

Thus, B and G need to accept that people will follow the game online etc using phones and will talk about it, try to make their peace with this in order to best enjoy their day, and make a decision about screens.

GunpowderGelatine · 04/07/2018 21:12

Reading they wouldn't be laughing and cheering at anything to do with the wedding, and they might be bloody miserable if the game doesn't go well.

Even if they were, football games tend to trigger rowdy behaviour, which is all well and good down the pub but inappropriate at someone's wedding.

And people who say it's only 90 minutes are deluded. With injury time, half time, it's not unlikely that it goes into extra time or penalties, then people talk of nothing else for an hour, it dominates half the day. Which is fine if the B&G want to watch it with their guests but they don't.

And LOL at expeting empathy because people are 'banned' from watching ONE football match. Get a grip!

The "why would you even book your wedding on that date?" comments are ridiculous

I know!! That's no different from saying "why on earth did they book the wedding on the night of the Big Brother final!". I got married in June 2010, a World Cup year, and it didn't even occur to me when I booked it, because I'm not a weirdo who assumes my friends and family's lives revolve around football!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/07/2018 21:12

If people didn't build a wedding day up into a cross between the Coronation and the Second Coming, there wouldn't be this level of angst if there has to be a last minute change to the arrangements.

Nobody except the bride and groom (and to be frank, often not the groom) will remember any of the details she's sweated blood over, or even notice them in the first place. What they will remember is that the wedding clashed with England in the quarterfinals of the World Cup for the first time in a very long time and the bride tried to stop people keeping an eye on the score.

Weddings have got completely out of hand. The enormous expense and fuss is out of all proportion to the enjoyment most people get from a wedding. What is often completely forgotten is that it is important to get married if you want the legal protections of marriage. If you wait until you've saved up a small fortune to have a huge wedding there's a fair chance the relationship will have failed first and in a few cases sadly one partner will have died, and that can cause all sorts of financial and practical problems. Better to have a no frills wedding at the outset and get yourselves protected.

Also worth saying that the notion that marriage is a patriarchal institution is utter nonsense nowadays, but often comes from the wedding ceremony, which is optional. We've been married for 36 years. We got married in a registry office. No mention of God, no giving away, no meringue or bridesmaids.

crabbyoldbat · 04/07/2018 21:17

^^ this

cadburyegg · 04/07/2018 21:24

Actually I think it is the fuss over a football game that has been blown out of proportion here.

littleemma1 · 04/07/2018 21:30

@thewindupmerchant I probably am, north east England? 😂😂😂
Honestly I’m so chilled about it, like it’s gonna be an amazing day whatever happens, we can’t stop people from wanting to watch the football so we’re embracing it!!!

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/07/2018 21:30

If people go with an open mind you never know, and they might enjoy it. Even if you don't enjoy the football how can you fail to enjoy the atmosphere

It's going to put a hell of a dampner on the day when if England don't win though.

chrisinthesun · 04/07/2018 21:31

PMSL at someone comparing the Big Brother final to the World Cup final! Grin

Clutching at straws there luv!

psicat · 04/07/2018 21:37

I'm with those that would have missed its a world Cup year when booking - I find football duller than dull, I dislike a lot of the yobbie fans (having had dealings with how matches are run behind the scenes, you don't seem to get that level of behaviour in other sports) and have zero interest in the world Cup. DH is thankfully similar although he may watch an odd world Cup game and probably be a bit excited if got to the final (I honestly couldn't care less!).

So, no know I don't think unreasonable to have sinfully booked her wedding in a world Cup year and now be rather miffed it is going to be spoilt either way - if they win or lose I'm sure there will be more drinking than normal.

Equally I've been at a wedding during a world Cup year and yes people were sneaking off to crowd round mobiles - I'm been at a funeral where same has happened - my personal feeling is that it's ridiculous to make so much fuss over a game but I'd rather they joined in so would put up something showing it. As long as not interfering with ceremony, speeches etc - then they can just do one and get over it Grin

Poor woman, I do feel for her - and her soon to be DH, I'm guessing he's not football fan either as he would already had this conversation!

arghhhhhhh · 04/07/2018 21:39

Just to confirm, I have no idea what time the ceremony starts. She hasn't said. I'm tempted to ask but seen as we are only fb friends because she bought a few things off me maybe 3 years ago.....it might be slightly inappropriate

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