Wedding day....England are playing?????

[arghhhhhhh]

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

@aprilshouldhavebeenmyname

"In a red/white/blue outfit!!"

There's no blue in the English flag.

also have a friend getting married on sat - know she comes on mn

i did say to her ages ago to have a tv/screen if england got through

she said no

tbh i dont really enjoy football, but i do watch/enjoy england in wc

i also know that you never book a wedding june/july even years or you
risk football

i would have a screen up, prob mute it so all can watch if they want

either all enjoy and england win

or they lose and bride thinks will put a downer on her day

I'm not a big football fan but there's something about watching a football match for your home country. Especially this far along in the biggest tournament.
Watching it later would be like watching a film you have been dying to see but someone told you the ending just before you went.
Embrace it, have it on in the corner, let them on their phones for updates, I'd try and find a way as long as it wasn't on during the actual ceremony.

I bet they got the place cheaper because the venue will have worked out the likelihood of this happening, tbh.

It's not just "watching television", its part of a nation-wide, collective event.

She and her DH can manage this graciously, and tweak their day to accommodate it - at least that way it will be memorable. It simply does not make a good party host to start issuing diktats about what guests can and cannot do.

Carry on like this and she'll soon find out who her friends are, anyway.

This happened during another World Cup Year and the wedding party ensured there was a television screen available for those who wanted to watch it. Far better than people saying they won't come to your wedding!

My wedding - at least, the reception - was during an England match in World Cup 2006. It sucked, but we arranged it long in advance of knowing when the World Cup matches would be or how far England would get! Some guests discreetly listened to radios, and that was it.

I wouldn’t show it. Wouldn’t stop others from watching it but would think it’s rude. Having said that I’m in Scotland so none of my family would have given a toss about England playing.

It's frustrating for her because she's obviously planned a day according to her "vision", but this is different to any normal football match- even non-football or casual fans will have an interest in watching or keeping up with the score.

If she was sensible she'd have a screen set up for people to watch it between the ceremony and meal. Then because she's built up goodwill by facilitating guests it shouldn't be too hard to drag people away for five or ten minutes at a time to do photos. Arrange for the meal about six and it'll have minimal impact. I would probably also arrange a sweepstake or something for a bit of craic.

I hate football but to expect people not to watch something like this or look at their phone when it's buzzing away in their pockets with BBC sport alerts is massively unrealistic. Her "policy" will only make her stressed and angry on the day whilst alienating a lot of guests with the atttiude.

@WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree no she's from Yorkshire

I think you have two choices - either embrace it, rearrange what you can to ensure timings don't clash, get screens in an appropriate bit of the reception area (if you can at this stage) and put up with your wedding being usurped by fanaticism, or ask that those who would prefer to keep up with the game stay away and rearrange a smaller event where at least you know people are focused on you wedding.

I think going ahead and ignoring the fact so many people are absolute dicks about football will leave you with the worst of all worlds, because people will turn up but not be invested in your wedding and it will feel pretty shit.

I'd embrace it, I'd be a bit pissed off about it because I think it's a waste of a party, but I don't think the wedding day is supposed to be the best day of my life or anything, and I wouldn't spend tens of thousands on one, so it would be fine.

Bloody hell. It's not even the Final!!

I'd be gutted if everyone cleared off somewhere else to watch the football. The bride can't control people checking their phones, and she has to expect some degree of guests being interested in the match, but conversely the guests should have some manners and not let their interest in the match dominate the wedding.

I got married on Cup Final day many years ago, pre smartphones etc. All our guests focused on the wedding and reception but the Master of Ceremonies bloke did pop in and out during the meal to give score updates!

Guests who have RSVPd hat they're attending and then don't because they would rather stay at home or in the pub to watch it are just downright rude.

Trouble is, watching football kills any atmosphere that may have been created at the wedding. Many a dull afternoon.spent in a pub with football on: no music, no conversation, dark room.....wonder how many of those watching the match will go on to abuse their partners after it. I hate the football thing; glad I married a rugby fan.

I feel for her a bit too but I think I'd just roll with it and understand that it's just one of those things.

I wouldn't have accepted an invitation to anything that if there was a chance it would clash with a football match that was important to me. It would be rude to change your mind once a fixture was confirmed and I'd rather avoid that. That doesn't mean I'm
a shit friend, I'm not. I'd be there for any of my mates like a shot in a crisis. A wedding is not a crisis.

The thing is as well that for all people say it's an invitation not a summons, that's only true up to a point. If you were to refuse an invite to your sister's wedding because she'd chosen to hold it during the world cup, and although you wouldn't yet know the exact dates there's a risk of missing a big game, she would be unlikely to be receptive to this.

She needs to embrace the fact that England are playing and make it part of her day. I once went to a wedding I. Cup Final day, where the local team had made it through to the final. The bride ignored it. The majority of the men left the reception and went and watched the match at a local pub. The whole wedding day more or less ground to a halt as no food or anything could be served as half the guests were missing. Eventually some of the women got bored and went off to watch the match as well. They all returned about 2 hours later, very happy and well oiled as the local team had won.

You might well say that the guests who left behaved appallingly, but there was genuine bemusement from those who wanted to watch the match, when it became apparent that there was no provision at the reception to watch it. It only takes a couple of people to say they are going to watch it at the pub and lots of them will follow like sheep. This is a huge match for England one of the most important in decades. She needs to accept that she has chosen to get married during the World Cup in the first place, so there was always the possibility that this would happen.

If a friend of mine decided not to come to my wedding because of a football game I would be gutted.

It’s a tricky one. Nobody wants a giant screen showing a football match during their wedding. But you can’t ignore it, that’s unrealistic. There has to be a way to incorporate it without it being a focal point of the day.

She’s stressed and not handling it properly but I be disappointed with the clash too.

And yes, if anyone chose not to attend my wedding so they could watch a match, I’d know exactly where we stood in terms of our friendship.

Over.

You might well say that the guests who left behaved appallingly

Well that’s because they have!
Imagine any other situation. Then leaving the wedding to watch Love island because it’s the final or going to watch xx film because it’s the premiere. What would you say?

Football has become this sort of religion that everyone HAS to follow, like it or not. Andnd it’s not right.

" but there was genuine bemusement from those who wanted to watch the match, when it became apparent that there was no provision at the reception to watch it."

How strange to expect a match to be shown at a wedding reception.

I would have had the food served & carried on with the reception.

But I couldn't think of anything more boring at a wedding than watching a football match on a big screen. I've no interest. It turns a beautiful wedding venue into a pub.

What time is the match on? Could they put a rv in another room while people are having the buffet and the wedding is quieter or white photos are going on? If it's slap bang in the middle of the reception it would spoil it.

"Nobody wants a giant screen showing a football match during their wedding."

That's not true. Not during the service, even I draw the line there, but I think lots of people would think it was fun at the reception. I'd have loved to share my wedding day with a famous England victory. Let's face it, guests are going to get far more excitement from seeing an England goal than from seeing anyone get married

I say this as a non football fan but to me, anyone who would choose a football game over coming and celebrating my wedding is not a good friend

THIS x 100

@flaskfan May I ask what would happen in the event a wedding clashed with an important rugby game for you? Eg Super Saturday?

I really loathe the snobbishness of rugby fans for football, for what it’s worth I’m a fan of both.