To be annoyed that DH had gone to watch the football with his friends tonight

[Sunrise888]

I know it's the World Cup/big England game and all, but...

I am on maternity leave. Last week DH worked very late every night. Baby and I suffered heavy colds all last week and this week, so I'm sleep deprived, sick and have terrible hay fever too. DH had plans to play local football Monday, Wednesday, Thursday this week. I don't usually mind as it's usually twice a week, three matches is a little unusual (mix of local leagues and kick abouts). Because of his long hours he goes straight to football after work, and I'm left with the baby until 8, 9, 10 pm.

Tonight was meant to be my night (DH had some half baked plan to take baby to the pub for the match (???)), but I felt too poorly to go out. So I told DH this afternoon that I had decided to stay at home. Now DH has just messaged me to say that he's off to watch football with his mates. 😡

Is it too much to ask that when I am not well enough to go out on my night off, it does not mean that I want to spend the evening looking after the baby ALONE AGAIN.

DH is normally lovely but I am feeling really, really, really annoyed! I want to veto football on Wednesday and Thursday but he'll just resent me as he's already paid!

YANBU OP, he’s being a dick

No. I'd be telling him straight it's not on. For me, 3 nights out (not work related) when you're at home alone with the baby all day is too much. My DH is self employed so works late regularly and usually has 1 night of hobby a week. He's off out for the football tonight but he is reasonable enough to have asked me if I minded. If I had said yes and I wanted him to stay in with me he would have without batting an eyelid.

Baby missed dinner earlier and has just woken up. I'm undecided as to whether I make him the easiest thing in the freezer, which is fish fingers, or take him out for a fancy and expensive steak dinner 😁

Mmmm somebody needs to explain to your man child he has responsibilities!

If he was one of my sons I would kick his arse. Time for you to stop being so accommodating.

Sorry but I think you're being a bit unreasonable about tonight...it's the world cup, it happens once every 4 years. This might be the last match England plays.

At least you've got the TV to yourself tonight!

Definitely ask him to miss footie tomorrow and Thursday though so you can have a rest.

Has OH gone already? If not, tell him "don't forget to take the baby with you"...

“DH had plans to play local football Monday, Wednesday, Thursday this week. I don't usually mind as it's usually twice a week, three matches is a little unusual (mix of local leagues and kick abouts). Because of his long hours he goes straight to football after work, and I'm left with the baby until 8, 9, 10 pm.”

So his life hasn’t changed at all?
Did he even want a baby?
Do you get 2-3 evenings a week to do sport or socialise or another leisure activity of your choice?
I expect you wouldn’t have the energy anyway, since you’re doing all/most of the night wakings and looking after a newborn a day?

He’s taking the piss and you’re letting him.

I actually think it’s fair enough if he wants to watch the England games in the World Cup (and I hate football!) but he should have discussed it with you first and made the effort to do his share the rest of the time.

Yabu it's the World Cup.

The thing is he was throwing suggestions at me, like taking the baby to the pub (uh, no), bringing friends to our tiny flat (unwise), and said at some point that whatever he decided to do would depend on what I decided to do tonight. I don't recall at any point him saying he would dump the baby on me! But he'll probably accuse me of not listening to him again. 😑

Seems a bit cruel to try and stop him watching the world cup with his mates. Is a special occasion that cones round every four years. Will be over in less than two weeks. You must be well enough now if you are considering going out for a steak dinner. However, he could have compromised and not go to so many local matches

I don't have 2-3 evenings to myself no, because yes I'm exhausted. I was going to make an effort this week to get to the gym if I didn't have such a horrible cold.

Why can't you/he take the baby to the pub?

Go to join him- hand over the baby- go home. Babies love pubs.

The thing is it's not like he's even a rabid football fan. He'll keep up with it on news feeds and watch the highlights. I thought he was going to watch it with me at home tbh but I guess I'm not as much fun atm. 😉

Out of interest how old is baby?

You need to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. It won't get better until you do. I'd also be expecting him not to go out again this week

In general, is he pulling his weight with parenting, and domestic work? It sounds like he’s not.

Baby was supposed to be asleep. We've been trying to get his bedtimes earlier, so it was a no to the pub!

Go to join him- hand over the baby- go home. Babies love pubs.

Ha, great idea, it's on the other side of town or what I would have been tempted!

Text him and ask what he plans to do with the baby

@Popc0rn I have the TV to myself every night!

Just because it's the world cup, doesn't give everyone -especially those with responsibilities- the right to go out to the pub with there mates. They had made plans.

My DH hasn't fucked off to the pub with his mates, Because the cups on.

Get channel 3 on, It's on live!!!

He doesn't need a bar and a group of men to watch it. He's being a selfish twat.

Your husband's a dick OP.

Theire ffs

OMG. Their

If he gets 3 nights doing sport then you should have the same for going to the gym or doing a hobby. If he has a night out, then you should get the same.

Once you are better I'd start telling him you're going out. Don't ask. See how he likes it.