Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

As other's have said, your wedding won't be the first and foremost thing in her mind.
You are coming across as an entitled eejit of the highest order.
Why are you even giving this headspace so close to your wedding?

Unless she never washes her hair, it will have faded to a paler pink by next Saturday. Those fashion colors fade if you look at them funny.

@elcarmen this just arrived for you...

I'd be angry too, op. It's pretty blatant thunder stealing.
Dis-invite her, she sounds a bit of a loose cannon if this is part of long list of similar behaviour.

She could've gone a colour that wouldn't have clashed so much with the red dresses, like why pink?? She knew the dress colour way in advance

I think the flaming you are getting isn't justified! I think a lot of those calling you a bridezilla would be unhappy if a friend did this to them!
It is odd for a close friend to suddenly, out if the blue dye their hair pink the week before being your bridesmaid! I'm pretty laud back but I would be hurt by this.
I think I would have to ask her why she didn't wait a week!

I'm not sure I'd really care. Presumably if she's your bridesmaid you want her there for herself? I would want my bridesmaids to feel comfortable and attractive in their own skin. Maybe she got it done before the wedding precisely because she wanted to look nice or was concerned about her appearance.

Someone having pink hair is hardly going to steal attention from the bride (and if it does, who the heck are you inviting to your wedding in the first place?!).

*It doesn't even suit her tbh
*
Ah well, still doesn't effect you, does it?

Red and pink is a fashion-forward combination these days, OP.

But again - why does it matter so much if she looks a bit odd?

The principle is having the consideration to wait a week until after one of your closest friends wedding to dye your hair bright pink.

Maybe she had an important (to her) event this week that she wanted to have her hair pink in the photos for.

Leave her alone and you shouldn't have mentioned her hair as now you have given her a story to use as you being a bridezilla.

Play her at her own game and say.... “ooo shame you will look a bit odd in the photos now your hair clashes, but don’t worry I’m sure you’ll still have a great day” ... and leave her to it.

Takes the wind out of her sails

It's pretty blatant thunder stealing.

Wearing a bridelike white dress is thunder stealing. Throwing a tantrum is thunder stealing. Giving a speech about how it should have been her and not the bride is thunder stealing.

Dying your hair pink? Really?

I don't get it, OP. What do you think she is doing 'on purpose'? Trying to take attention away from you? You are the bride. Everyone's attention will be on you. People will think you have a quirky bridesmaid who seems like a cool chick.

The OP knows what the bridesmaid is like, so surely she would have expected something like this?

I don't think that makes you a bridezilla at all. Only on Mumsnet would people not have a problem with this.

Is it worth putting up with the pink hair/red dress combo to keep the friendship? Although TBH it would make me question what kind of friend she is anyway.

OP, I'm with you on this and can see why you are angry but you need to let this go.

She will probably look utterly ridiculous anyway .......

I'm not surprised she has done this but at the same time i didn't ever consider the hair/dress clashing situation as something that would happen considering she had been brunette for so long. I really tried to not think about it but i just wanted to take a nice picture with her as she normally looks...

The principle is having the consideration to wait a week until after one of your closest friends wedding to dye your hair bright pink

Maybe your bridesmaid has got something going on in the week before or the week of your wedding which is much more important to her than your wedding and which she wanted pink hair for.

Takes the wind out of her sails

Are you forgetting this woman is actually her friend? You're telling her to purposely make her friend feel shit about herself?

I think a lot of those calling you a bridezilla would be unhappy if a friend did this to them!

Believe it or not, there are actually people who don’t give a shiny shite about what colour someone’s hair is, even at a wedding. Some people literally do just care that their friends and family can come and celebrate their marriage. There are weddings happening up and down the country where no-one is obsessing over matching hair colours or underwear or shoes. It isn’t obligatory to stress about weddings. Plenty manage to just get married. It’s not a performance.

I don’t understand how you have the time to think about it or even care so close to the actual day. Most people are run ragged and in pre-wedding bliss. Personally, I wouldn’t have even noticed if one of my bridesmaids had lost all their teeth the week before my wedding

She's not turning up in white. She's not wearing a veil

No, but maybe there's your answer. Get her to wear a veil. Job done.

Or just photoshop her hair brown.

No-one cares what the bridesmaids look like except the bride (not even the bridesmaids really care that much what they look like).

The princliple

What about the principle of being honoured that your friend has accepted your invitation to be a bridesmaid? Or the principle that you don't actually own your bridesmaids and that they're doing you the favour not vice versa?

Really at your attitude.