Bridesmaid won't dye her hair

[elcarmen]

My bridesmaid has dyed her hair this week a horrible pink colour and I am getting married next saturday. Am i being unreasonable to ask her to dye it back or uninvite her from the wedding?

For context she is incredibly self-centered and always wants the attention to be focused on herself and I think she has done it just to stick out in the photos.

every bride I've ever own has had the last say in how she'd like her bridesmaids hair.

Yes, if she wants it in a bun or a braid or curled or straight.

You can't tell bridesmaids to just change their hair colour.

Lila every bride I've ever own has had the last say in how she'd like her bridesmaids hair. That's what happens on YOUR wedding day. You get to call the shots.

Perhaps the style but not the colour.

OP - has your friend said why she decided on such a drastic change?

YABU! What is this thing about weddings as a performance? It's the day we make a commitment to our chosen partner. The performance/production/show that some weddings become sickens and saddens me. 'The happiest day of a woman's life' what absolute nonsense! "been dreaming of this since I was a little girl' god alfuckinmighty! My mother made me wear a wig to attend her wedding when I was a teenager, we still don't get on! OP, stop being a bridezilla and just enjoy your party.

Come on pink hair is completely attention grabbing! A week before the wedding? Such bullshit. I would be very very pissed off.

Mind you my brother grew a man bun and refused to cut it off and it really bothered me but on the day itself and in pictures I didn’t care at all!

I reckon the Ex was called Mittens

Just a thought, limit it to just one photo with her in!

Lila every bride I've ever own has had the last say in how she'd like her bridesmaids hair. That's what happens on YOUR wedding day. You get to call the shots.

I was being flippant.

I’ve read the whole thing and I kinda feel sorry for the OP.

Pink hair and red dress don’t go - yak.
But more to the point it does sound like it might be deliberate.

Naming a cat after her ex, announcing the pregnancy on an engagement night, I wonder if dying her hair pink is the only thing she’s got up her sleeve.

OP I can’t remember if you said before but has she ever dyed her hair colours like that before?
The fact that she said no she won’t change it, and actually suggested not coming says to me that she was fully prepared for that conversation.

She doesn’t sound very nice to be honest.

Apparently wedding photographers tend to shoot photos were a guest is wearing red in b&w as red looks jarring against a white dress. Don’t know if OP is wearing white but perhaps pink hair is the least of her photo problems

If you drop her from the wedding, you'll be known as the crazy Bridezilla who uninvited someone from the wedding because of her hair colour and perhaps rightly so

What shade of pink is it? Certain ones would look nice with a red dress. But, more to the point, you can't line up your bridesmaids all in a row to try and achieve your version of perfection by editing their physical appearance. They're not chosen to look perfect in photos, but because they're very dear to you - or at least should be. You don't seem to like this woman at all, why did you choose her in the first place?

Unless she turns up in a floor length white gown, I doubt she's trying to upstage you and I seriously doubt that she will. Do you have some history with this woman? Haven't read the whole thread, but you do seem oddly worried about her showing you up or upstaging you etc. Are you jealous of or threatened by her? Not in a nasty way, it's just I'm struggling to comprehend how attention would be drawn away from the bride because of someone's hair colour.

YANBU. You're getting a hard time here OP. She dyes her hair pink with a week to go until she has to wear a red bridesmaid dress. Nobody is that oblivious - especially if she's been so involved with planning the wedding. Given her history of trying to take any attention off you such as announcing her pregnancy at your engagement (yes, pregnancy can happen at any time but her announcement could have waited - a good friend would have celebrated your engagement and then announced her news the next day or whatever).

She clearly doesn't think much of the friendship. Speak to the photographer and ask what they can do. Put her at the edge of photos and only have her in the bare minimum. In all fairness, you'll only look at the ones with you and DH in them anyway. Black and White is a good option for some of the ones she is in if you wanted to display those pics.

Does sound pretty passive-aggressive/thoughtless, but it also sounds like you don't like her much!

You WBU to uninvite her. Just ignore the hair as much as poss and get some black and white photos done!

I agree JustVent.

I also think the bride can have the last say in whether her bridesmaid has pink hair too.

YANBU to be bloody annoyed.
So many S&B threads about what dress is OK to wear to a wedding and fear of upstaging the bride, but apparently it's OK to stand next to the bride in all the photos with bright pink hair (dyed especially for the occasion) which which instantly draw everyone's attention away from her.

I really miss my pink hair...

If a bridesmaid hair distract the attention from the actual BRIDE, the bride is doing something very wrong

Do you have some history with this woman? Haven't read the whole thread, but you do seem oddly worried about her showing you up or upstaging you etc. Are you jealous of or threatened by her?

If you had RTFT you would have the answers to these questions for goodness sake 🙄

OP if she won't dye her hair back to her normal colour I would tell her that you will be photoshopping her hair to brunette.

Let her look a twat with her pink hair in her red dress.

YANBU OP. I'd drop her like a stone. If it's not a big deal as most of the replies on here seem to indicate, then surely it's not a big deal for her to dye her hair back to a grown up colour for the day.

I've never known an adult dye their hair an odd colour. Fair enough a teenager going through their daft rebellious stage but an adult? FFS.

Oh, please. Heaps of adults have unnatural hair colours. Mine is usually purple. My friend has red. My other friend switches with her mood. Rainbow was her last colour of choice because she wanted to cheer herself up after losing her baby.

If you don't know any adults with coloured hair, you must lead a very sheltered life.

I'd struggle more to find an adult sporting their natural colour.

you should get out more, or make more interesting friends.

"odd" hair colour cost a fortune, I don't know many teens who could even afford it for a start. I am sure old women are also knows for experimenting with colour rinse

Thinking about it as a sane adult: you’re a bridesmaid in a week, set to wear a red dress. You know your friend has put her all into planning all this stuff. Why the fuck would you think it’s a good time to go for a pink dye job?

Op your friendship is probably going to not recover from this. It is a weird and attention seeking thing to do given all the circumstances here.

I didn't say it was unusual to dye your hair as an adult, I said I didn't know of anyone that dyed it an odd colour. But then I don't work or socialise with 'wacky, out-there, I'm so different to everyone else' types.